grandparents announce pregnancy

18 years ago

My daughter told me last night she is pregnant and expecting their second child.

When I got home I called my two brothers in excitement to let them know.

My daughter called me this morning and very emphatic that it was not my place to take the joy from them to let others know, and I was totally out of place.

Most new grandchildren-to-be announcements usually come to my husband and I from other grandparents?

Was I really out of line?

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Comments (8)

valarie_1958
18 years ago
I think you were not out of line. I'm a nana too. I love being a nana and get excited about anything to do w/ my grandbabies. if it was important you not say anything they should have politely asked you not to tell until they had the chance. my daughter always makes sure to ask me not to say anything if she wants to be the one to announce it. (otherwise im emailing and calling asap)
but especially to your own brothers?????
starbucjo
18 years ago
As happy as you are to be having another grandchild, it's still your daughter's pregnancy and her right to share that news with her uncles. It would be different if you had accidently run into someone and mentioned it or if you called friends of yours that your daughter doesn't really talk to and told them. But to call your daughter's uncles just for the purpose of sharing your daughter's news is somewhat out of line.
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Yikes. My first reaction to cold_weather's reply is that it's pretty harsh (although I love her/his user name!). Kase, I think I understand what you're saying. Yes, as cold_weather said, it's a bit surprising that you didn't know about the pregnancy until her 9th month, but we don't know the circumstances. Is your hurt due to feeling that you and your husband (her father) raised her with what you thought were different values? Gee - so difficult now-a-days (I sound so OLD!!!). How long have you been in her life? It's not true that this pregnancy indicates anything other than a fine, upstanding young woman. (I know you didn't say that). Just trying to get the genesis of your hurt a bit more. Maybe you mean disappointed? It will certainly change and impact her life. Some good, some not as good, as she's so, so young. But - hopefully she'll rise to the occasion and continue with her plans while raising this child. This child will be in your life, too, forever. I suspect that you will fall in love with it. As to your age and becoming a grandmother so young ... sure, I get it. But you can't change it, and I applaud that you're trying to come to grips with it and will be there for the mother and child. I don't know that you need to "act" any different than you did prior to this. The baby will be born, she will be raising it, you'll be enjoying it, I predict. Just delight in the new life, be there for the Mom but hold her to her responsibilities, and encourage her to continue to pursue her goals. That's for her sake AND the child's sake. Good luck. Suzieque
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neesie
18 years ago
She could have mentioned that she didn't want anyone to know! If it was me I'd probably get on the phone too, I'd be so excited. But it does make me recall when I was pregnant with my third child. It was unexpected. I took my hubby aside and told him that we were expecting and what month the baby would arrive (I hadn't even seen the doctor yet but I knew). I was pretty upset when ten minutes later he turned around and told the other two kids who were four and eight. The cat was out of the bag and I wasn't even showing yet. Sometimes it's nice to enjoy a little secret for a while. So I can understand your daughter's feelings. I am not trying to make you feel bad but show you the other side. I guess she was confiding in you (which is nice) but she should have let you know to keep it secret. In retrospect I knew that I should have told that to my hubby too! She'll forgive you....you only did what you did out of love and excitement. BTW, Congratulations!
cowbell71
18 years ago
Sorry Nana6, but yes you were out of line.
User
18 years ago
Once you tell someone something, it's not a secret any more. I don't think you were out of line.

Does she speak to her uncles often? Would she have called them before the baby was born? They must have contacted her and she was caught by surprise - otherwise, would she have contacted them?

My daughter asked me to call my sisters when she announced to me that she was pregnant (both times), since she keeps in touch with them infrequently, mostly by email. Since they are my sisters, she knows I'll be in touch, right away. She did tell her brother and sister, and her father and his wife (I would never have told them!), and her in-laws.

Congratulations, and enjoy.
hope44
18 years ago
You were not out of line by calling your two brothers...not at all. Your daughter is wrong about this.
stargazzer
18 years ago
I agree. I had a cousin like that and that was not her only odd behavior.
juanital
18 years ago
Not out a line unless she asked you not to say anything! My DIL would say if she or my son would want to tell everyone...

grandparents announce pregnancy

Comments (8)

valarie_1958

starbucjo

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