Usually, I am quite sceptical of emails that ask me to do things. This time, I obviously let my guard down. I checked the CR site (albeit briefly, but using Search) and could not find reference to this letter. This was today, not before posting the above. I wish I could take it back, and apologize to everyone affected by my foolish and hasty post. I am often the one who points out hoax-type emails to others (like the famous Ashley Flores one) and got taken myself this time. The numerous exclamation marks should have given it away, but I guess seeing my name up there (usually, the sign of a legit correspondence but now obviously not) allayed my usual suspicions. I am a subscriber to CR online. I am also a BoA (mortgage and CC) customer, although I have never paid interest on a credit card - ever. Pay off monthly, only buy what you can easily afford has always been my motto. We am in fact pondering whether to pay off our year-old mortgage by next year. To say I am embarrassed is an understatement. Thanks for the wake-up call. ---------------------- ALl that said, the banks DO mess around too much IMO with these things and wield their law-given power in unjust ways. For this, we have our corrupt politicians to thank, who get fat off lobbyists who in turn are on the payroll of the same banks, insurance, oil tobacco, et al companies. Unfortunately the system in this country (and likely others) simply does not provide fairness and equity to the common man. As someone alluded to in another thread here, this is what happens when a society fixates on money above all else; money becomes the currency (pun intended) of life itself. We are losing productive and paying jobs overseas to boost the already ridiculous compensation of industry leaders, the national coffers are hemorrhaging and have been for some time, we live in paranoia and fear instilled by our leaders, we hate foreigners simply because they are foreign, we are mired in a war that can have no positive outcome and is not (yet) treated as the horror it is only because it has been spun and information-controlled. I fear for this country, which I adopted (and it adopted me) over a quarter-century ago.

You might want to consider two options. Talk to your banker (loan officer) to see if you could get a personal loan with fixed rates and pay it off as fast as you can, and keep the CC for emergency only use or ask him/her about closing the CC account, freezing the rate and get another one, but personally I think that would not be good as CC interest rates are over 20% even with those with excellent credit. If you do get a loan, be sure you do not have a pre payment penalty clause in it. Your rate should be alot lower.

I don't really have a suggestion for a cash rebate card, but I think my experience with Chase is important here. 4 years ago I lost my job. I had quite a balance on my Chase card. It had just been transferred using one of those promotional offers for 0% interest. I don't even think I had gotten the first statement when I lost my job. The day after I got canned I called all of my creditors and asked if they could help, lower the minimum payment, lower the interest rate, grant a diferral, something, anything! The person I talked to at Chase told me that as long as I was making the minimum monthly payment they would have to assume that I COULD make the monthly payment, and there wasn't anything they could do for me. However, if I missed a payment, I could call them when I got my next statement and at that point they could work out a payment plan that would be easier for me. So, I did exactly what he told me to do. Except that I made half of the payment, instead of not paying anything, when my statement came. I figured that would look better when I asked for help, I could say "Look, I can make half the payment, just not the whole thing." When my next statment came, showing that I hadn't payed my entire minimum payment, I called and told them what I had been told and asked for help. This is where it got really fun. They couldn't come up with a better payment plan for me because to do that they would have to base my payment on my income...and since I was unemployed I didn't have any income to base a payment plan on. They wouldn't use my unemployment check as a basis for a payment plan. So there was still nothing they could do for me. The kicker: Missing a minimum payment meant my 0% interest rate was gone. Now I was being charged something over 18%. Then there was more fun, about a year later. I had gotten a new job, moved back to the state I was from, and transferred my husband's car loan to a credit card because the interest rate was lower. Adding that to the amount that had been on the cards when I lost my job and the amount I had to charge while I was unemployed (including tuition for my husband to go to truck driving school) and my credit card debt was pretty damn substantial. Suddenly I noticed on my Chase bill that the interest being charged was only 36 cents less than my minimum payment, and I knew it hadn't been like that before. So I looked at the interest rate.....they were charging me 24%!!!! I called them, all kinds of pissed off, to find out why. Well, apparently they pull your credit report every once in a while. When they pulled mine they saw how much debt I had, and decided to change my status to a higher risk catergory. Because I was now a higher risk borrower, they raised my interest rate. Makes sense, right? Raise my interest rate so that this high risk borrower has an even harder time paying you back!!! As soon as I had an introductory rate offer from another credit card I transferred every penny off of that Chase card and I haven't used it since. We don't deal with Chase anymore. The only reason I currently have a Chase card is because Chase bought BankOne, and I had a really good interest rate with BankOne. So I'm keeping it until the introductory rate runs out and then I'm getting rid of it. As for rewards for cards, I've got a card that gives me points. It's from MyPoints. You sign up with them, they send you e-mails that you get 5 point for just clicking on the link. Some of them offer you hundreds of points for buying something at the link. For instance, they have a deal with (a webstore that the filter won't let me mention because they've been spammed about them before) where you get 10 points per dollar you spend there. Other's are like 50 points for filling out a survey, 20 points for signing up for a newsletter, 500 points for signing up for Columbia house, etc. I rarely take the offers, just click and get my 5 points. I can rack up like 30 points a day this way. And they have an associated Visa card through Providian where I get 1 point for every dollar I spend. Once you accumulate enough points you can trade them in for gift cards, either to stores or they have one called Webcertificates where you get basically a mastercard account number that you can use anywhere online. Or you can pay a small fee to Webcertificates and get a real card that you can use in stores. For instance, I just redeemed 3250 points for a $25 gift card to Linens N Things. That sounds like a lot of points, but if you are using the card and paying it off all the time you'll rack up points quick. Plus the e-mails take me all of 2 minutes a day to click and delete, giving me up to like 900 points a month. I don't use the card itself often, but if you were going to use it a lot it would definitely pay off. It doesn't come out to as good a rebate as like Discover (which I think is 2%) but if you also do the e-mails and use some of their deals (like the deal at that unmentionable web store, as well as other great deals just like it) you'll rack up points quick!

WOW!!! Your story is terrible. The first thing that comes to my mind is the two commedy movies out there, one I think is Mama's Boy, and I think the name of the other is Stepbrothers. In my situation we have a problem with my husands 2 adult daughters stating that they have been neglected and left out, etc (we invite them to everything, they often don't come because my kids and me are there, they want Daddy to themselves). My SDs do not live with us, they are in college and graduate school fulltime, so our problem with them is not like yours. Your SS is a physical drain as well as financial drain. My SDs are mostly an emotional drain on us. The movies might bring laughter to you. I doubt that your wife would watch them with you. She'd probably storm out of the room after a few minutes. They are pretty funny though. My DH and I rented them, and laughed until we almost wet our pants. It sounds almost exactly like the situation that you describe. I agree with other posters who say that the main problem is with you wife. She does not respect you when she is making these decisions without consulting you. The foundation of your marriage is wrong. The most important person in her life should be you, and pleasing you. The most important person in your life should be her and pleasing her. Major decisions like these should be agreed upon together. It sounds like she has taken leadership of the home, and tells you how things are going to be. You are expected to go along with her demands. She missed the whole concept of marriage. I give you much credit for all of your hard work on this matter. I do not understand why a woman would choose her adult son's desires over the desires of her husband. I cannot relate to this. I hope you saved the torn contract. The three of you need to go to counselling together. Take the contract with you. I have a son who is 17, turns 18 in 2 weeks. I could totally see my son following in the footsteps of your stepson. I have tried and tried to get him to stand up and be a man. Funny thing, he is joining the Marine Corps, and ships out in October. I know that will take care of the next 4 years. But I can totally see him trying to move back home and mooch after then. My husband wouldn't allow it, neither would I. The best thing I can do for my son is push him out of the nest and make him stand up for himself. Some mothers have a hard time letting go. They think that if they do more, give more, that this will help the child. But it only makes the child more dependent and stunts their development as you put it. My hat goes off to you for all your hard work. Stand your ground.