how about black and white to life? since all the movies and photos of the age were in black and white, we have a lot of reference material for everything but the real color of things... and the sounds, and the tastes, which are my favorite part of listening to the grownups- my grandmother talking about being a teenager in the 'teens' and a young woman during Prohibition were mesmerizing (the Great Gatsby only had money- nanna had a mind of her own!) and it might be nice to remember the days when folks still wore hats and bothered being polite about things... and, best of all- most of the music from that era's now out on CD, so you don't have to try and find a new needle for the phonograph!

Well, the party was a success so I thought I'd share the results after your thoughtful replies. Invitation: Cut out a large letter B from paper printed with balloons. I randomly wrote on the front B=Ball, B=Balloon, B=Book, B=Bubbles, B=Bugs. Then I wrote the party details for the Big Boy Birthday Bash on the other side, including that this was a "B" themed party. Food: (I was cooking for about 43 adults and kids.) Beefy Ribs and (Buns with Hotdogs for the kids) Brown Rice and Chickpea Rainbow Salad (GREAT pesto vngrte) Beans with Lemon and Walnut Vngrte Bacon and Blue Cheese Mashed Potato Casserole Biscuits with fresh herbs and Basil Butter Drinks: Basil lemonade Blueberry lemonade Cake: Banana cake in the shape of a bumblebee. I found a baseball cake pan the shape of half of a ball and thought "why not make that the body of the bee?" So I did. I used a 6" round cake for the head, but I cut it out a bit to fit snuggly into the round body cake piece. I frosted it with golden yellow buttercream. I was in a hurry so instead of mixing black icing for the bee's stripes, I sprinkled on brown jimmies in stripes. I used black licorice for the antenna and legs. I made wax paper wings with popsicle sticks as veins. I found those black licorce wheels as big eyes. It was so cute!! And tasty! Since I needed cake for 43 people, I made some extra banana cupcakes frosted with the bee frosting and some jimmies. Games: Balls (football, baseball, tennis balls, curvy ball and catchers, bouncy balls, soccer ball, beach ball, etc.) Bubbles (FIL makes his own bubble juice and has tons of fun wands) Butterfly pinata (couldn't find a bumblebee) filled with small bouncy balls, bee rings, etc. Treat bags: Black Bags filled with small "B" items like bubbles, ball erasers, blowers, etc. Decorated the house and deck with tons of balloons from the Dollar Store. Some of the gifts given to DS began with B, and some even decorated their gift bags and cards with B. It was cute to see people get into the theme. All in all, it was a great party. Kids had a fabulous time--too much of a good time at moments. ;) Thanks for your help!

I'll second, third? Lisa and Sov. Six years old is too young to teach a charity lesson at birthday time IMO. Their birthdays are about silly fun with their friends. Lisa's statement in regards to gifts (optional but please be sure to bring yourself blah blah) is as far as I would go. As the mother of a small child who has too much, I use these experiences to teach the gift of giving. The joy of finding a special toy (and a matchbox might be all that is for some but it's still special to a six year old) is a lesson I don't get to give very often so I really take advantage of it (our son is 4 and not yet in school). At 8 or 9 plus it's a fun idea to discuss giving a party for charity, but only as an idea for the child...you know when they're ready for this or if they ever are :) I bitterly remember the birthday where my father taught me about charity. I opened all the gifts and then they were given to the "less fortunate" (I had no idea who those people were because we didn't learn that lesson). It was really more about control (now that I look back on it) verses a lesson in charity, but to a small child...do they really know the difference? I think we often forget the "joy of giving" and focus on the receiving too much :) So I get where you're coming from, but for a child of six...it's a party :) Let them enjoy it as a six year old should. Goody bags aren't a tradition in our area of the country. But I think the cookie and balloon sounds great. Great for table decor and enjoyable for the kids to take home. Or you could go with a matchbox given the theme of the party (those cheap ones). I don't mind cheap crap...it makes DS smile. The fact that he does not know the difference between a one dollar car and a twenty dollar one actually pleases me. And I don't mind the matchbox's anyhoo...at least they're metal :) My DS is afraid of birthday cake (or was until this year when he's braved the frosting) so I guess we're not overly birthday focused, but he has enjoyed the parties he's gone to as long as we avoid the cake. I don't remember getting any party bags...wait maybe one, but perhaps that is just our circle of friends. I don't think a lecture on how to throw a party is necessary :) Family, friends, it does not matter. Kids should have special birthdays be it with their school friends or family or both. Special does not have to mean much. We had our favorite couple over with their two kids for DS's 4th. Then we repeated a simple dinner with grandma the next week (we were moving to her state). He enjoyed both parties immensely and both were quite simple. DS would love to attend by the way....do you allow 4 year olds? I promise to limit the plastic LOL

Hi Vesters. So many things you wrote struck a chord with me as we experienced the same issues with my SD, who is now 14. We've had custody of her since she was 5, after gaining emergency and then full custody though a very nasty battle. After DH and his ex divorced SM moved SD hours away. SD began sleeping in her bed, showering with her, being completely dependent on her mom. BM thrived on this - it made her feel needed and important. SD couldn't (or wouldn't) do or try anything on her own. SD became BM's 'bff' and confidant - all at the mature age of 3. This continued until BM found a boyfriend, and then SD was kicked into her own bed in her own room on a different floor and told to go to sleep. Once that relationship ended SD was needed again and back in BM's bed, all the while hearing about BM's relationship woes. Fast forward a few years. We have custody, SD sees her mom EOW. She's still trying to have SD sleep with her (between boyfriends) and be dependent on her. The 'bff' behavior is worsening and we're hearing all about BM's love life from SD. SD is getting stomach aches right before visitations and worrying about how to take care of her mom. All so appropriate for a mother/daughter relationship. And then there was. . . "BM also used to say things to SD (right after I came on the scene) like, "I'd never let a man come between us" and "You're the only one I need" which sounds innocent enough, but it was very much meant as a "look at your father, moving on with his life, I'll never let that happen to us." I could have written that. BM is always saying this. . . in between the men in her life. But what SD figured out about 2 years ago is that her mom is full of sh@t. She started to see all these behaviors factored around her mom and what her mom needed on her mom's schedule. She was blinded by the 'my mom needs me' and 'my mom loves me best' until then, but with the help of her counselor and a little maturity she started to figure it out. I won't say she doesn't fall back into buying her mom's crud every now and again, but for the main part she can she the behavior for who it is really about - mom, not SD. I tell you all this so you know you are not alone, and also to give you hope. Your SD needs help, and she needs her dad to help her receive it, but she can recover from this. I will tell you one thing SD's counselor shared with us that was helpful for SD and for our tongues as we weren't biting them so hard. When you say "I'm always a little uncomfortable when she talks so openly about her BM with me (because I know the "real deal"), yet I'm always very careful to make sure I speak loving and positively about her ." you need to stop. This doesn't mean speak negatively, but you don't have to put a good spin on bad actions. Don't try to make mom's bad action ok. Don't make excuses for her. Listen to SD, let her know you understand why she would be upset, help her with generalized, non leading questions discover why she's upset, but don't then tell her it's all ok and mommy knows best. Later, when she figures out mommy doesn't, you will be seen as a liar. It's ok to say sometimes mommy's get confused, or mommy's make mistakes. This is likely better pronounced by DH at first, but you need to know that you don't have to be positive. Just don't be negative, if you get what I mean. :-) Good luck. Keep us updated, and keep your chin up. You are doing the right thing.