I'm another who mostly avoids conventional grocery stores to buy all organic foods, including grass fed beef when I eat it at all, and organic eggs and chicken. Usually shop Whole Foods. I remember a few years or more back when I first bought organically raised chicken how it tasted like chicken I used to buy many years ago. I had forgotten that taste! Also, like long ago, the organic chicken does not last long. The regular chicken I had been eating before switching always lasted a long time before going bad. What does that say?! Have others noticed this? I'm so glad I've switched to organic, as I used to eat a lot of corn, and only recently learned about Roundup in conventionally grown/gmo corn. YIKES! One other thing, I ate out more than usual this summer but often did not enjoy quite as much as I kept thinking of the food - especially salads, as kind of "toxic".... I did have a large weight gain this year when mainly eating conventional food during a long convalescence, but believe it was connected to no activity + increased appetite and unhealthier choices. When I lose weight eating organic I connect it to my Mindfulness about eating healthier and my focus on making more wholesome choices. Also, organic food is VERY much costlier, and it is harder for me to justify $$$ by eating more.

Wodka, I lost my husband in May - he died in his sleep. He wasnâÂÂt sick, but he wasnâÂÂt too healthy, either. It was a total shock and I still donâÂÂt quite believe it. I also have a big support system of people taking me to dinner and making sure that I'm busy. I haven't been working out as much as I used to, but all summer I was like a crazy woman in the garden doing all the heavy digging and lifting that my husband used to do for me (I've been re-arranging). I'm just a few years younger than you, and I thank God that my body is strong enough to do that work - there are many people our age that have physical problems. I've lost close to 10 pounds, mostly from my middle and I'll share the way I've been feeding myself - maybe it can help you. I buy chicken breasts or pork chops or small steaks when they're on special and I freeze them separately in zipper bags so it's easy to pull out just one piece and defrost it in a pot of hot water in the sink. I usually grill that meat (or fish or veggie burger) and also have a salad or sauteed spinach. I now rarely make rice or potatoes (something my husband insisted on having), so I'm eating just protein and vegetables, and there's fewer pots to clean up, too. When I don't pack my lunch I go to a local soup/salad bar, except for those very stressful days when I can't resist a ruben and French fries, but I try to keep that to a minimum. I'll get Chinese or other take out for dinner maybe once a week. And I still drink wine! But with winter coming and the long dark nights to get through, I'm looking for an affordable gym to go to after work to have a place to go and to keep moving. And I'm going to look into massage - what flyleft said makes sense. I'm sure toxins can build up from grief. Since my husband didn't take care of his health, I'm determined that I will. I also turned down the anti-depressants my doctor offered. I told her I cry every day, many times, but not all day. But like others have said, give yourself a break - this is a very big thing, especially after 40 years together. You will find your way.

Before the tonsillectomy I simply could not gain weight. I did not enjoy being a skinny guy, and I would lift weights (to no avail) in an effort to bulk up. Then at age 26, my tonsils were so bad that the ENT doc decided they had to be removed. After the 3-4 recovery, I noticed my body growing noticeably larger. Without much effort, I was able to put on muscle. Usually this process is slow and insidious. But I swear that the tonsillectomy had a transformative effect on my body. From January to July of that year, I was a skinny twerp. For the 3-4 weeks which followed the July surgery, I was a sickly mess. But from August to December, my physique had quickly started to look more like a man's than a boy's. The chronically infected and swollen tonsils were draining a certain amount of lifeforce out of my body. Perhaps my body was so busy fighting the infected tonsils that it neglected other areas. And like a couple others here have said, the chronically infected tonsils were making probably me sickly.

Thanks alisande. It actually feels like fluid retention because once it starts, I seem to blow up - don't laugh everyone because that's exactly what it looks like - LOL; like I could float away. I just had all levels checked and everything is fine. I do know I tend to carry a lot of fluid. I'm taking very small dose of meds for that but not regularly because it's way too much everyday. I end of losing too much magnesium (not Potassium, if you can believe that one). I've been using some supplements that have cut down on some of that. But nothing seems to help that tire area. Glad you mentioned this though. I feel so much better. Although I know that I have to watch the fluid retention and get regular bloodwork, at least it's something that I can deal with other than just gaining weight like crazy. BTW, I just talked to my siser who is really into holistic health, and she mentioned that since my A1c is only 6.4, I might want to try to reduce it further through nutrition. She knows people with much higher levels and on insulin, that have actually been taken off of meds. Diabetes is such an ugly disease - between it's damage and the meds. I put it up there with CA. I'm ready to try anything. Thanks so much for your suggestion!!