I just accidentally found this thread while looking for the photo gallery! Not exactly what I was looking for but probably more interesting! I have to say that both Golddust and Lynn are women who will give adoption and reunion the honor and compassion necessary for all involved. I am mystified by the hostility and judgments expressed by some others here. I am a birthmom in a 19 year reunion with my now 40 year old son. He found me when he was 21 and I have never had any other children. Most birthmoms in first contact and early in reunion react exactly like Max's birthmom. We are overwhelmed with emotion and the grief we have never been allowed to acknowlege or express (and you might guess why, given the threads of hostility and judgment expressed by some here). Yes, wouldn't counseling have been nice??? No one offered us counseling or legal advice. Most of us gave up our babies because we could not access financial, emotional or family support to keep them. The world was a different place; unmarried, pregnant girls were vilified. Finding a family like Goldust's for our child was our fantasy. When we first have contact, it takes us right back to that place where we were separated from our babies. A choice you may say. No choice for most of us. What choice? No $, no education, no husband, no family support, lots of societal barricades and no safety net for us! A child who would carry the burden of the "bast***" label? What choice? So, yes we may not be MOM to our children, bur we are also their MOTHERS. It is difficult to wrap our minds around the concept of 2 mothers, but that is the fact. If anyone would have offered us any other option, the vast majority would have raised our children. All of you who have children, just try to imagine after giving birth, handing that baby over to strangers. As for the suggestion of doing a background check on her, I cannot even express how offensive that sounds. She trusted her flesh and blood newborn child to strangers; I'm pretty sure she didn't have money to hire a detective. And just HOW do you pick up those pieces and move forward without a hole in your heart? Luckily, my son was also blessed with a kind and loving adoptive mom. She embraced me as a part of him; she attributed much of his specialness and uniqueness to what he got from me, even tho he'd never met me. She also was wise enough to give her blessing to him as he sought me out and knew it wasn't appropriate for her to be involved, except as he might request. We now are all friends, I am an equal grandma to his new son and all are better off for the abundance of love for everyone involved. Bless you Golddust and Lynn, for trying to educate others about how far compassion and understanding can go in this situation.

You are just being silly, your exterior looks wonderful and ofcourse the inside is 'to die for' but I knew that. You are a very modest gal and are just worrying way too much. I think you should have that party in a heartbeat and celebrate the years that she has lived. I just know that she'll be so excited to see all of the friends and relatives and just the thought that you were sweet enough to have the party at your home. If you weren't so far South, I'd be there with bells on......Is it Tennessee or Kentucky am I wrong? Your home is utterly scrumptious, nothing that I don't like!!!! By the time a person is 90 they don't know how many more breaths that have left, honor her for living so long. Happy Birthday to your MOM. susan

Hi ros and all, well aunt got the death sentence a few days ago, stage 4 Grioblastoma (sp?). We are all very devastated. I talked to her yesterday and she is like me, a straight talker. She doesn't want to be pitied or for anyone to pretend that it's not as serious as it is. It is so much easier for me to talk to realists. So, we talked about how she's getting bombarded with people wanting her to go the natural route and how some friends are claiming she will be cured with a certain kind of tea. She is very overwhelmed with the choices on cancer treatment centers as well. I do know the FDA just approved the Novo TTF cap that can be used 12 hours a day after the initial hit of chemo and radiation, we talked about that and how there is a possibility to buy her some time, save some brain cells and have some better life quality. The U.S studies are conservative with a small study group of less than 300 but still seem to offer some good, the Israeli studies (where invented) go back to 2007 and show an improved life span and in some cases shrinking tumors. So, at least there is something although no cure. As far as we know there is only one trial going on at the moment for her multi tumor brain cancer type. She has close to two weeks before she can start anything due to waiting for the biopsy area to heal. They are taking her off the steroids but I have no idea why. Her speech is getting slurred and she has trouble with balance/ walking but this was there before biopsy and is not a result of...just getting worse and moving fast. I'm still very upset that rotten murderous people are walking the earth healthy and she is sooo good but so ill. A few weeks ago she was sitting in my kitchen, normal, laughing and having a drink.

Sadly, he can probably get off more easily than any of us would like to think. I don't know, but the realist in me says find a way to move. You can't depend on the neighbor's being incarcerated to go forward with a normal life. It sounds like your neighbor's "crew" still assembles despite his absence. If he and his friends disappear, is there potential for a replacement problem group taking up "residence" in your immediate vicinity. Could you have friends over for an impromptu summer bbq? It seems as though you can't plan anything outdoors so long as your neighbor's son & his friends are around. I can see this getting worse first before/rather than better. Things are definitely not in your favor with regard to the current real estate market, or for that matter, the economy in general. However, when it gets to the point that your kids can't safely go outside to play on a nice day, and you are living in daily fear, is it really worth your sanity and that of everyone in your family? I am a fighter as well as a total optimist. Before reading about your situation, I would have adamantly defended my right to live in my home. I would not allow the behavior of another make me move from a home I created. However, under your circumstance, I would definitely consider all options, moving being one of them. Is there a reasonable possibility that your neighborhood will get progressively worse, or is this an isolated thing within a 10 block radius of your home? If I were to take a walk in your neighborhood, would the gang presence be obvious to me? What is the the town like overall? It may be a strategic move to get out of this neighborhood now before it becomes reputed for its higher potential for crime? Also, I can't remember if you mentioned having any pets. If you do, they need protection from this situation as well. I wish I felt more optimistic about this getting better for your family. You and your DH are the only two people who can gauge what your home life will be going forward if you do stay in your current home. Also, I don't know the ages of your children and how "at risk" they are being next door to this kid and his friends.