What are your DS' interests, hobbies,etc? How about a weekend away doing something he is interested in, perhaps skiing or something like that?

Tickets to a concert or show that he would like to see?

Being a special milestone b-day, perhaps a birthday party, with friends and family? What about a surprise birthday party?

Special dinner at his favorite restaurant, or special dinner at home with all of his favorite foods?

Just a few ideas. Not sure of your budget. It does get harder as the "kids" get older.

My son turned 21 a few weeks ago. For his birthday he got his car insurance monthly payment covered, a nice dinner out with the family including appetizers AND dessert (a splurge for these frugal parents), and a couple of hundred bucks in cash.

Plus his sister volunteered to drive him and a few friends to and from the local watering hole that evening so they could celebrate without being irresponsible...otherwise my poor boy was going to be the designated driver (which he always is for his crew) for his own birthday party!

He was very happy with his 21st. Told me later it was perfect.

And he got up the next morning in time to get to his 8 am class :).

Ann

He was very happy.

For all our kids we took them, their current BF/GF and the rest of our kids & their SO's to the restaurant of their choice and made a BIG deal of them ordering their first drink. They didn't have to drink it, but we made it a big ordeal, and made sure that everyone in the place knew what we were doing. The kids loved it.

Cheesy, I know, but that worked for our family. We aren't big drinkers (wine & microbrews mostly) and the kids didn't even know how to order a mixed drink!

Pesky, you made me laugh with that story!!

Actually his sister, his dad and I ended up 'giving' my son our entire night's sleep on his birthday, which was a school night for all of us. As I mentioned his sister drove him and 3 friends to a local party area (Coconut Grove for those who know Miami) for College Night which is every Thursday. They called her to come pick them up at 1 am(!), and of course I couldn't get to sleep till everybody was back home at close to 2 am. Then one of his buddies ended up staying over at our house since he wasn't in any shape to drive. Buddy started wandering around at 4 am, waking my husband up who then had to put him back to bed. Husband naturally couldn't get back to sleep...and wake up time for daughter and me is 6:15 am anyway. Yawn.

When all was said and done nobody got much sleep but my son had a great and safe birthday!

Ann

Thanks for your responses. My problem is he is away at college, and so doing a party is out of the picture, although I'm thinking about doing the drive to see him and at least take him out to dinner the weekend before. I think I'm putting self imposed pressure on myself to spend more than I should on something special, when I really shouldn't be. I have been considering a camera, as he's more recently decided to make photography his minor. Perhaps I'll just get over it, and give him money he can put towards a camera, and do some sort of celebration for him next time he is home. Don't you just hate it when you over think something!?

Unless you know exactly what camera he wants you should probably give him money towards it instead. Photography buffs are very particular about their equipment!
My daughter was in college when she celebrated her 21st and I sent her an adorable little bottle of champagne in a bright pink bottle, but that wouldn't really work for a boy. Is there something that you could give him 21 of that he would like? Like 21 $10 bills, or $100 bills if you're really generous?

I wanted to do something a little overboard when son-in-law turned 30 so I got him ten different $30 gift certificates. Movie theater, Subway, couple restaurants, walmart, everyone has them now. He was very surprised to get so many! (you could do less). His bday is next week, too bad it won't be such a big deal this year. :)

For my sons 21st we went to a nice restaurant of his choice and bought a bottle of wine with dinner- so he could be carded! He was thrilled. I can't remember what else we did for him he is 27 now. For our DD's 21st we bought her a single pearl with diamond pendant. And since her boyfriend was stuck out of town , her brother, Dad and I took her to a nice bar at 12:01AM on her birthday- as her boyfriend had planned.(don't we loosen up on the second kid?) She was home from college for the summer.
You could visit and bring a case of beer!Or give him cash.