Hi Everyone, Debbie, glad to see you are still with us. I agree with you about members needing to leave. It is always sad when they need to leave us. Sounds like you have had a really "good" summer. Can't wait to hear all about it. PICS??? Cindy, Hope you are doing good. Stop by and say hi if you can. Paul, Yeah, you ARE still with us. Please do not melt. We only have you and Cody, gotta keep our guys, ya know? Carol. NICE seedling. Are you gonna name it with the AAHS? Hope it doesn't cost an arm and a leg to fix your car. Or, are you going to have to get another one? Jean, You are right, WOW is the word for that box of goodies. Can't help you with your daylily ID, sorry. Marea, LOVE that Magic Amethyst. Ok, please explain "rodeo". You have my curiosity piqued. Barb, Hope you adjust to your new brace quickly. Hope the drive goes quickly for you, and your time with the attorney is as easy as possible. hugs! Had to close accounts and do the attorney thing after my mom passed, not an easy thing to do. My thoughts and prayers are with you still. Gloria, THANK YOU for the prayer for the military. They so need us to be there for them. Wish I could give each and every one of them a hug, and a "thank you". Dawn, How did the shower go? And hope you had a blast on your mini vacation. Angie, Hope you are doing better after the bad storms. Keeping you in prayers. Shirley, Did you get to meet Dolly? Hope you had a ton of fun. Mary Ellen, Did you have a blast at the Waterpark? Hope so. Di, Thinking of you. Give little Benjamin a hug for me.Love ya, I went back to work yesterday. Wow, things have changed in 4 months. It is a bit of an adjustment, just being a regular associate, after 6 years of being a manager. But, I LIKE IT!!! ,No doors to unlock, and packages to sign in, no paperwork to do constantly, no decisions to be made, no deadlines to meet, no keeping an eye on all of the workers and making sure they are doing their jobs, no reprimmands to give out, no having to make grouchy customers happy. I get to turn all of that over to one of the managers. AND, no more 55-60 hours a week away from home. YIPPEE!!! So, I get to be home and work in my gardens, and do crafts. I will actually get to use the thousands of craft items and fabrics in my sewing/craft room now. I am soooo happy. It is going to be a big adjustment for all of the other managers as well. While I was working yesterday, the manager on duty was on the phone, and the back door rang for a delivery, she looked at me, and i just smiled and shrugged my shoulders, "NO KEYS". After she got off the phone and brought in the delivery, she came back out and grinned at me and said "You are really gonna be a pain in the a** aren't you?" I just grinned back and said "Who Me?" Yes, I am definitely gonna like being a part timer instead of a manager. Well, best get moving, gotta start dinner. Our turn to fix dinner for everyone(we all take turns), we are all going to SIL pool. Have to be there at 4. Hope I didn't miss anyone, hugs to all, Jo

I agree with everyone, including the OP, on all the gaffes here. I would cut them a little slack; the mom-to-be is pregnant and not feeling well, there is a divorce going on, and maybe more we don't know about -- etiquette probably seems relatively unimportant right now to this family. But still, the point here isn't that they didn't do anything wrong; they did. What the OP does about it, though, is another thing. I don't blame her for not wanting to attend -- it sounds like it will be very tense, and of who wouldn't feel like a chump with the information about the greediness? But I wouldn't withhold my presence as punishment for bad manners. It isn't the guests' place to teach the host and guest of honor manners, even if they are wrong (and it wouldn't work anyway). Leaving early in an obvious show of disapproval would be very rude (and mean). Certainly don't suggest cancellation or rescheduling -- of course they have already thought of those options, so it would not really be a suggestion, just a criticism. I assume that the OP is close to these people, either a relative or the one friend attending. I would let that be the guiding factor here, not their behavior. I think it kind of boils down to how you feel about making this family happy, dabunch. Suppose they hadn't violated any etiquette rules -- a friend gave the shower, the mom was to be there, no comment about wanting gifts -- would you be wanting to gladden their hearts and celebrate with them? Then do it anyway. Your presence and good wishes should be offered or withheld not on a merit system of how they are behaving, but on how you want to make them feel. So if you love these people, I would go to this awful party and do it with a smile. We would all want our friends and relatives to do that for us if we made a mistake, I'm sure. Stay away only if you think you cannot be gracious the whole time -- no snarky whispers to other guests, tempting though it would be! Perhaps all the other guests feel as you do and will NOT hold back. It would be a real kindness to the hostess to be a supportive guest -- maybe the only one. Good luck! Take public transportation so that if there is wine, you can use that to get through the party ....

"illegitimate"? You have GOT to be kidding me, right? Tell me there aren't people out there who still believe this. Hopefully, they're old enough to die soon before they pass that myth along. My granddaughter was not born from a marriage. Sadly, the parents did marry later, which was the dumbest thing I've seen happen since....., since, since, I'll get political. She will grow up to save us all from cancer, altzheimers, or toenail fungus. She's the best, however she got here and a blessing from God. Sorry, OT. For the original topic: If my best friend from work excluded me from the baby/wedding shower because I didn't "know" the kid, I'd be relieved. I see that as a grab for gifts. I would be more inclined for a baby, after the fact, wrap a bunch of Baby Wipes and diapers for when she has the baby, or after the wedding, a bottle of vodka.

Update: just had the shower today and it went great! Thank you for all the advice and encouragement. Mostly family and three childhood friends. It was nice to see friends she had known for 25 years. I also contacted some of sister's best friends from the city she just moved from and they sent video messages. No adult beverages due to being family (mostly teetotalers). Although I didn't specify potluck, every single human who walked through the door had a plate of food in her hands so the sideboard was groaning. Soooo much food. My favorite baker is just ending mat leave so I got some lovely cakes and cookies from her lavander honey and raspberry earl grey cakes from gateaux rose We did play two games in a nod to my mom who looooves games. One was he said she said, guess which prospective parent said which phrase, and one was price is right. Both non embarrassing, quick and optional. I also made a onesie banner which was a hit. I forgot to take a photo of the finished product but it was paper onesies spelling out yay baby! in the end it was a nice way to welcome sister back to our province and make her feel surrounded and supported by family. our big present (stroller and car seat) has been stranded at the airport depot for two days :( the impending mail strike here has the courier services overloaded and in disarray.