He was signed into hospitals as DNR at everybodys urging because of his age and conditions. Nurse initially noted No heroics resulting in Long Term Machine support, feedings Ok .. something like that. Bit of a ramble / Update... Dad ended up about two months in hospital - evenly split in 2 different hospitals. Diagnosis and treatment for dyspagia(swallowing prob), COPD(broncidus), generalized weakness. And he aquired pneumonis almost instantly in hospital. They blamed it on asperation. Which I wouldnt doubt as the nurses and aids didnt seem to keep in mind he had asperation risks. From so much time in hospital beds, Dad's lost abilities to transfer to wheelchair and what little use he had with his walker to go pottie is gone completely right now. Old left stroked leg has started pulling up after about three weeks in hospital and he can't seem to control now very much. He is getting some in home physical therapy, supposedly 60days worth, three times per week - hopefully will get him a bit mobile. Sent him home from hospital with a catheter, to be removed day one at home by a nurse... He didnt pee all day after she removed it... nurse couldnt get new one reinserted that evening ,,, ambulance trip to ER to reinsert. Apparently no peeing is pretty serious stuff. ER/Hospital lab called about four days later,,, has a urinary tract infection(Klebsiella). They called in prescription for Horse size pills for 10 days, supposed to fix it. Still has that catheter - GP doc appointment in a couple days. Maybe he'll tell nurse to take it out again. Had 2 poops after first arriving at home from Kindred. One massive one. Then five days no poop at all. Back to ER. They cleaned him out with long tube enema...soft stool/xrayed no blockages . Perscribed 30cc milk of magnesia twice daily. Tonight will be third day no poop again. Geeze. First hospital tried about a week of physical therapy right after inserting stomach tube,,, all the while his ankles were swollen big, he was very tired, on antibiotics with pneumonia (MRSA). All the while in 1st hospital therapy wing he was really sick - that wing apparently is with unskilled nurses? ... finally doc moved him to skilled care room and potent antibiotics. Leg started retracting then. Discovered his feeding tube leaking,, not sealing right at stomach penetration... mechanical fault perhaps... removed old one, gave him a new one. Hospital Doc gave him a choice after about a month,, Has severe bronchidus(COPD),, Pneumonia. He's not getting better... he could send him home and die with hospice care, or take a very slim chance send him to Kindred (hospital) which specializes in lung desease and phy-therapy,, to finish off a second dose of extra stong antibiotics to see if they could clear the pneumonia,, along with they could give him longer physical thereapy there to try and get him at least transfering back into wheelchair. Kindred apparently is one of two hospitals in SE with some kind of super extended Medicaid or Medicare which apparently regular hospital was trying to get rid of him because time with insurance was up. 1st Hospital Case managers asked me a couple times about where to discharge him to Hospice while he was still being treated. I would say well he's scheduled for tests to try to fix him, why would you discharge him ? Anyhow Dad told Doc he wanted to try to get better. That apparently bought him a few more weeks of care in Kindred. Now he's home,, wow, lots to care for right now. Wish he could get into the car for a haircut and doc visits.

Okay, well, with some details changed just in case ... The one I am still steamed about is that brunch for 70 people I just gave. To make a LONG story a little shorter, the whole point had been to solve a difficult problem for the family having a big event: the parents have recently divorced, and the problem was that the extended families would be holding separate "auxilliary" events during the weekend, and where would the guests of honor go? I offered to give the Sunday brunch for all the out of towners, on the "neutral territory" of our home, and that way they could all come. That was over a year ago. Less than three weeks before the event, I asked the divorced dad about how many kids/adults to expect (I already knew the total of 70). He began, "Well, my kids won't be there. They will be with [ex-wife's] family." ???? "But," I said, "I thought the whole point of our giving the party was so that everyone could be together." "I know, but [ex-wife] and her family said no." (Good thing thing this was on the phone and he couldn't see my astonished face.) Well, I thought, at least it won't be so many people. But he confirmed -- 70. (I.e., he had known all along, before it was too late to make other plans, that it would just be his family and friends. He also clearly was not surprised at my surprise. He knew we were still operating under the original assumption.) At the end of the call, I asked, "Remind me again -- why are we doing this at our house?" "Well, your house is a lot nicer." !!!!!!! The brunch was not hard, not too expensive (although even inexpensive for 70 people adds up to a substantial amount) and it was lots of fun. My kidz and husband and I enjoyed doing it as a family project. The guests were lovely and gracious -- I got nice notes from several. But I feel very much that he took advantage of us. We offered to do this to help them out of a sticky situation, not to take over the work and expense of his entertaining for him. It's as if we'd offered to give a couple a wedding, and then 3 weeks before one of them said, "We eloped, so you'll give me a birthday party instead." I think he had the responsibility to tell us as soon as he knew that the "everybody" brunch idea wouldn't work. I don't by any means think that hospitality and generosity should be equally reciprocal. But you can't just ALWAYS be on the receiving end. No matter how different circumstances are, you can always do SOMETHING nice for someone else. We have done a LOT of nice things for this guy and his family, and he has NEVER reciprocated in any way. This took the cake -- I'm done. Believe it or not, I really do like him. But he has got to learn not to be such a 100% taker! (And he isn't going to learn it from ME.) He didn't even invite us to all the other events of the weekend. By the way, the ex-wife, who we also like a lot, was TERRIFIC about everything -- she invited us to everything she did, she and the children (although not their out of town guests) and she did make the effort to come to our brunch and were delightful, and she even took me shopping at Sam's Club for the food. I think she felt really bad; she hadn't known this was going on. The worst actual guest I've ever had was my friend's wife. They and their (adorable) kidz were here for a few days, and I didn't think I'd survive. She is SO MEAN!!!!! Especially to my pal. We were all on edge all the time. The last evening, we had spent the day at the State Fair. It wasn't easy to please her there, either, but it was fine. As we drove home, I was really, really tired -- so exhausted I just couldn't wait to collapse. What about dinner? I said I'd figured that we were all tired, so we'd just order a pizza or go out somewhere in the neighborhood for something easy and light. "No," she said, "I think we should stay home and make some chicken breasts for the adults and some buttered pasta with fresh broccoli for the kids." I screamed internally -- hadn't I just said I was too tired to shop and cook, let alone two menus? -- but all I said was sorry, that we couldn't have both butter and chicken at the same meal anyway (not kosher), and wouldn't pizza or something be okay? No. Sigh. All right. Whatever. We got home and I found some frozen mixed vegetables, including some broccoli, in the freezer, and some fresh carrots. Would either of those be okay? "No, I had really pictured fresh broccoli." I couldn't believe her gall, and my friend was so mortified, but we all knew better than to argue with her. Anyway, at that point, tired as I was, I actually PREFERRED getting in the car to go get the %^$#!! fresh broccoli, just to get AWAY from her. I was so stressed that the grocer took one look at me and asked me if I was okay. He felt so sorry for me he gave me a can of salmon! Thanks for listening!

dee-dee - where are you? Is your school district planning to do the same thing? with all the snow days, we're already going to the end of June. I can see closing the school where the infected child was attending, but *all* the schools in the district, K-12? I assume you have one fully functional bath downstairs? How old are your kids? Hopefully not teenagers who spend an hour at a time in there! I am definitely a perfectionist - though when it comes to tearing walls out b/c a header is crooked, I'm learning that cutting the sheetrock so the casing lays flat is "good enough". I spent yesterday AM while DD was on field trip (I didn't have to drive) skimming some spots around my bay window so the baseboard wouldn't have a huge gap behind it. Anything under 1/4" we can caulk, but over that just really needed joint compound (with stained trim, can't hide as much with caulk and paint). My cousin is meticulous, but as he said, he knows how fussy he *can* be, whereas I know how I want things, but don't really know what's possible, or possible with a reasonable amount of effort. He did finally call. DS is sick with a high fever, but dr didn't say it was serious. They're not in the same district (though his ds and my dd attend the same preschool), so there really isn't any way he could have been exposed to anyone in our district who may have been exposed to the kid who just got back from Mexico. He doesn't have a cell phone, so couldn't call me when the landscaping ran late. I don't know why his DW couldn't call me back when she heard the message (maybe figured he'd be home soon enough, maybe figured I'm *his* cousin calling for *him* to work, so let *him* deal with me). It just drives me crazy waiting for someone who never shows and doesn't call when they're late/can't make it. He is a good carpenter and just a sweet guy, so I'll wait until he's available again, just keep finishing what I can so it's ready for him to nail up or miter. Some day, maybe 5 years from now ;-), my house will finally be finished, with floors that *stay* installed, and a bath for the kids/guests, and my soaking tub (Calgon, take me away!!). Then I can start thinking about replacing the laminate countertops and doing a tile or stone b/s ;-), maybe even repaint the ceilings LOL! Thanks for letting me vent.

Hi Anj, your food all sounds yummy! I've had "gumbo" before but never had jambalaya. I did a search to see exactly what it is. Sounds good with the meats, rice and veggies. What is your "fried down squash"? I cook zuchinni in a skillet with a little melted butter and then add a dollop of sour cream after it has cooked and softened a bit. My DS loves it, but your dish might be a good one to try too. I am always looking for easy, quick things to cook. Sure wish my DH liked a wider variety of foods--I tend to only cook the veggie dishes when we have company over. I used to subscribe to Quick and Easy Cooking magazine--think the name then changed to Simple and Delicious or something like that. Anyway, I really liked it because they had lots of pictures, and the foods were things submitted by "real" people. I hate the recipes that list fifteen ingredients, none of which you ever have on hand! LOL You always have the best luck at your TS don't you? Wow! You got some great things this time. I love the words on the stitchery--so sweet. And those crocks and bobbins sound like a good find too. I thought about you always making or buying things for your brother the other day when I saw a neat fish shape about 14 inches long that held three small pictures. Then there was also a wooden plaque with a cutout boat and oar shape. They were both cute for someone who liked fishing stuff. I've not been finding allot of good stuff, but I sure enjoy looking. I usually tell myself that I will not buy anything that costs more than $3.00--but I did make an exception for a silver teapot the other day. I also bought a small overnight case for $3.99 that I want to paint roses on, and I picked up a nice round piece of wood that is going to be perfect for two patterns in the new Painting mag that I just got in the mail. I'm actually thinking about painting one design on one side and another design on the reverse side. Might just use a screw eye hook in the top to hang it by. Oh, I almost forgot, I also bought a fairly large pitcher with pretty vegetables on it. So are you going to plant flowers in your old wood stove? I'm pretty sure I've seen a pic of one over on the GJ forum. We just never have enough storage space do we? Even with just the two of us, we need more. And you have all kinds of kids items to store in addition to your own "goodies", huh? Your plan for getting some painting time in sounds good. Even if it only works out a couple days a week, you'll enjoy that. My routine is all out of whack with DH home now. I like to do my housework, laundry, yardwork, etc. in the early morning and then have the afternoons free. But if he wants to sleep in later or watch television when he gets up, it messes that all up because I have to keep the noise down. I'm just trying to "relax" and go with the flow. It really doesn't matter when it gets done, and it will always be waiting for me when I get to it! LOL I met the gals I used to work with for lunch today, then DH and I went over to the mall to try out the sleep number mattress again. Then we grabbed a bite to eat at a 50's diner and then went to see "Swing vote" with Kevin Costner at the movies. It was an okay show with some good laughs. I'll tell you the one I really want to see after seeing the previews tonight is "Hollywood Chihuahuas". We were laughing out loud just seeing the preview. ;o) I still want to see The Mummy, but DH says "not yet". Are you interested in Dark Knight? I'm not sure whether I want to see it or not--might just wait till it's out on video. Well, this is really a long post here, I'd better hit preview and move on. I'll talk to you again soon. Luvs