Have you made any progress?

Love - You said "He said fine, he would have to leave work early, didn't want to "inconvenience me" yada yada." and "I asked him what made him say that and he just said "well, I can't leave work early today." WOW. So I guess in his MAN MIND that is his way of acknowleding that I wouldn't do it." The way I see it is this was his way of making you feel guilty for being a SAHM, but unwilling to help him out with his kid. Don't give in!!!! Be strong in that HE needs to do what HE needs to do for HIS kid, and it wouldn't have to be this way if the (in the words of Sweeby) bat-sh*t crazy b*tch hadn't come in your home and punched you. Pseudo said "....I guess my point was if he puts BM before you ... if you had a child with him where would he draw the line ...." This is totally what I have been thinking for a few months now, but could never get the courage up to say anything. Where will he draw the line? Your DD has already been subjected to so much from this woman, and he's not even her father! How much would he put a child of his own through? Example: my friend has a DD with her DH who has 2 DDs with a crazy BM. The DH is a SAHD to the little one (DD with my friend) and would take her with him to pick up the other DDs on his weekend. It became a habit that the BM wouldn't be home at p/u time and wouldn't answer her phone. He would wait around for them to return (afraid that if he left he wouldn't get to see his DDs). One time, the little DD was in the car and carseat for 4 hours while he tried to track them down and waited for them. 4 hours! My friend finally said "You can wait around for 4 hours if you want, but you will not have MY daughter sitting in a carseat for 4 hours while you sit in your car outside their home." Basically, he had no problems putting BM ahead of his new DD. Remember...the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You just have to start squeaking louder than her. Jupiter said "I think that they need to see their ex's as good mothers (even when they clearly are not) maybe to somehow reassure themselves for when they are with her." So, so, so, true. My DH knows BM is a back-stabbing liar. But then he says stuff like "well, BM says it's SD's decision and she asks her all the time if she wants to visit". So why would he believe that one statement when he's caught her in so may lies before? The only thing that makes sense is he NEEDS to believe she's a good mother. Jupiter also said "I too run into arguments where he lets her slide on things that he wouldn't with me..I try to give him the example that if it was anyone else in his life he would have told them to go to h#$% because normally in life you don't do favors for people who don't do for you let alone someone who puts him down as a father..." and Love said "But it just totally goes against DH's overall nature, which is so frustrating." This is the issue. Which personality is the REAL one? I have this same problem with DH and I'm starting to think the way he is with HER is his personality when he's vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me because I guess I rarely ever see him vulnerable. I agree with FD. When I am flexible and accommodating with X, it is usually in the best interest of DS, and I do the work. I rarely (if ever) ask DH to do anything for DS, although he would be willing, because I feel like DS is my sole responsibility since I am the parent.

You cannot get a quick spring green up unless there is heat, sunlight, and plenty of reserve nutrition in the plant roots. You cannot affect the heat and sunlight but you can recharge the plant's roots by fertilizing in the late fall. Specifically once the grass stops growing but before it goes dormant, hit it with a fast release, high N fertilizer. This is called 'winterizing' the lawn. If you wait until early spring to apply fertilizer, the roots have not awakened yet and the fertilizer washes away. At this point all you can do is wait until the grass awakens. Once it does, sit on your hands until May or late May. The grass should come in fast and fairly furious for several weeks all by itself. If you fertilize early as it's greening, you'll stress the grass with too much nutrition. That's why we wait. The organic fertilizer is very good at making your soil microbes healthy. When they are healthy the soil does what it is supposed to do with both plants and chemicals you apply. You can apply organic fertilizer any day of the year, even on the same day as you apply chemical fertilizers. I don't use chemical fertilizers anymore. Here's a picture of what happens when you apply alfalfa pellets (an ingredient in many organic fertilizers).You can see the improved color, density, and growth. Thanks to mrmumbles for posting this picture many years ago. The alfalfa was applied in mid May and the picture was taken in mid June. Does that help? Yes the organic will help. Now is a great time to apply organic. Where do you live? What kind of grass do you have? What is your watering schedule? How often and for how long do you water?

Update: Some of the succulents I planted into gritty mix have been shriveling, which I thought was thirst, but watering didn't help... so I realized they're probably rotting. The tall sticks (which I thought were "Minima" Jades but after seeing a lookaIike at Home Depot, I think are actually Portulacaria afra) are definitely rotting away from the tips and new shoots down. :( So I think I need to pull these out, wash the old soil off the roots, remove any rotten parts, and let dry. I have a few questions: 1) if the stem is rotting, what does that look like, and how much stem/leaves should I remove? 2) Can I leave any roots if they look OK, and does drying them out kill them anyway? Or is this essentially like making a cutting and letting it callous and make new roots? 3) Once they dry can I just replant them where they were in the gritty mix? On a more fun note, I went to Home Depot yesterday intending to buy zero succulents and instead spent an hour taking pictures and purchasing 7 new ones! And to my delight, all but one had an actual species ID! Clockwise from top left: Kalanchoe marnieriana Crassula rupestris Crassula "Candy Cane" (with a warning that propagation is prohibited... how would they stop you?) Sedum rubrotinctum "Pork and Beans" Crassula ovata "Ogre Ears" Sedum rubrotinctum "Aurora" ???? that was on clearance with a bunch of very sick and damaged succulents, but it looks healthy enough to me! Here's a closeup of it - anyone know what it is? The Ogre Ears had mealy bugs so I doused all of them with 50% rubbing alcohol last night. I also watered them because their soil all seemed bone dry, which I'm learning maybe I really shouldn't need to do? :/ I want to transplant them to gritty mix today (and do it right this time! Wash off all the soil and let dry). Also at Home Depot, I think I was able to better ID some of my current succulents, like the Crassula ovata "Minima" (#8) actually being a Portulacaria afra. The original mystery plant could possibly be Sedeveria "Sorrento"? Though the leaves look bigger/fatter on this one than they were on mine: OR possibly Sedeveria "Jet Beads"? These leaves aren't bigger but they do seem fatter than what I have... Not sure either of these are it: #3 Could actually be Graptosedum "Blue Giant"? A very similar-looking succulent was labeled this at HD, but I can't find photos to confirm it online. Maybe it's actually Sedeveria "Blue Giant"? #6 I thought looked like a plant labeled Sedeveria "Harry Butterfield," but looking online, it doesn't look right to me... #18 Senecio vitalis (Narrow-Leaf Chalksticks) #19 Graptopetalum pentandrum - EDIT: Actually more likely G. superbum #22 Sedum adolphii (Golden Sedum), instead of Coppertone Sedum? Looking forward to anyone's feedback about replanting and ID'ing these! Thanks!