Homebuilding emotional survival kit

16 years ago

I gather that a good while ago there was some sort of helpful advice gathered here about how to emotionally survive this ordeal we have all embarked on. The "breathe-in, breath-out" advice. I cannot find the original post; does anybody know what, if any, additional advice was contained in it?

SO, I would like to assemble an emotional survival kit for homebuilders. And I need your help. I'm definitely a survivor, but the homebuilding part is new. So, I can mostly draw on my survival tools from a career in hospitals, where humor--especially "Mash" humor--often was all that got us through.

Here's my list of brain-ticklers/ways to slice this, most of which overlap greatly:

1) HUMOR! Dark or gentle. Building related or not.

2) Other means to attitude-adjustment. Including tools from 12-Step programs; gratitude-thinking; distancing yourself from the problem; etc.

3) General stress-control practices. Meditation; exercise; change of scenery; etc.

4) Substance use/abuse. Including those newly-recognized substitutes for substances, such as shopping and compulsive sex.

5) Misc. Other: because I'm not clever enough to generate any further categories. Make up your own.

Weekends are usually slow here and this is a holiday weekend, but when ya'll get back from that, I hope you'll join in.

OK, then. I'll start with some from my personal collection, which some of you have heard from me before. But I'm gonna put them in a fresh follow-up post. Give me a minute to do that before you jump in.

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Comments (12)

pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
OFFICIAL HOMEBUILDING EMOTIONAL SURVIVAL KIT--HOW TO LIVE THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES

* A sign on my wall: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

* A clipping from a friend: The laughing Buddha. Legend has it that rubbing his tummy is supposed to bring good luck.

* A tip from a college professor: Keep a punching bag--he used a plastic clown with a weighted bottom and kept it on his porch.

* Abuse food. Keep an emergency kit of favorite items that seem to help. Usually carbs increase brain serotonin, which calms us, and can come from cookies, cracker, potato chips, pretzels, candy. Lots of choices. The acts of repeatedly putting something in your mouth and of chewing vigorously are also therapeutic. (This is desperation time; health concerns are secondary.)

* Take "green breaks". Try to assume a passive, empty-mind attitude while putting yourself in a setting to absorb Nature through as many senses as possible. If only watching birds out the window (having a bird feeder helps).
zone_8grandma
16 years ago
Champagne onsite on Friday evenings. Either you are celebrating the latest progress, or you are consoling yourselves because nothing got done.

This message board.
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pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
*Add to humor collection: "Bid - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places."
kelntx
16 years ago
I love it! LOL! I love the champagne, for celebrating consoling. How true!
zone_8grandma
16 years ago
Definition of "contractor time" - "Mexican time" (no offense intended, please don't flame me).

Definition of "House Dollar" - $1000
(as in "it's only 2 house dollars")
pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
* Remember: You can only kill your G.C. once--make it count!"

(I added the last part; the first came from someone else here--who??)

* Spend your evenings sitting in meditation in your new house. It will be conducive to meditation for a long, long time because of all the empty space there.

*Get a charm or amulet. Mine is a giraffe pendant I wear when I'm going to a meeting or showdown involving the house. At home I have a stuffed animal giraffe (Geoffrey, the Toys R Us giraffe). I wanted the lifesize one, but he wouldn't fit through the door.
I chose the giraffe because:

1) The giraffe is the tallest mammal on earth. I figure he can see out ahead for me.

2) Giraffes rarely sleep--only 6 minutes a day, and that standing up. So they're really hyper-vigilant. I figured I'd need that.

3) Even the female is so powerful, and so protective, that she will put her life on the line to protect her offspring (they only have one at a time). She can kill an adult lion. Glad to have something that strong and protective on my side.

I also amuse myself with the thought that in reality I'm being protected by a small toy giraffe, symbolized by the pendant I wear (Geoffrey doesn't like to travel). If only the "enemy" knew the source of my protection.

Oh, and Geoffrey is a good listener. He encourages me to lighten up and not have to be so adult all the time, and act like this is a matter of life and death.

* Recite to yourself: It's only a house. It's only a house.
charliedawg
16 years ago
Tomorrow means next week.
Next week means next month.
Next month means...lets cross our fingers and hope that we eventually get it done.
minnt
16 years ago
Ice Cream sandwiches for anyone who is on-site at 4PM every day! It has helped our build. You wouldn't believe how often I hear "just the right time" or I even overheard one plumber say to the other "we have to stay past 4PM, because that is when she brings out the ice cream". Can you believe that?

Here is a link that might be useful: My house building blog
pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
minnt: unbelievable! just like children. And the ice cream sandwiches help reduce your own stress level too, I guess! What's your address and are ya'll working this monday?
teach2007
16 years ago
***Warning: Not humorous... It's just how I cope with stress about my build.

Here's my motto: Don't take life too seriously. It's only a temporary situation.

This really hits home when I think about our future neighbor who is a mother of two small children whose cancer has recently returned for the second time. It puts the color of my walls, the roof pitch of my house, and the little details we all worry about into perspective, don't you think? Happy Labor Day weekend everybody!!
pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
teach2007: Your tips come under the category of humor (the motto) and then perspective-making (your neighbor). Both keys to my own mental health, when I remember to use them!

Perfectionism is one of my personal demons. I'm adding your motto plus something else to my "Building Survival" wall (actually the outside of a big metal supply cabinet in my office). The something else will be one of these:

* It's not perfect, but is it good enough?

* Is it better than I have now?

* Is it really worth all this effort/agony?

* What's the LEAST I can do? (Because I tend to overdo everything and it's not really necessary and often the return is far less than the effort I put into it.)
pinktoes
Original Author
16 years ago
I'm borrowing Kelly's posting from elsewhere, so all this wisdom will be in one place. This goes on my wall. Thanks, Kelly!

1. Don't freak out at every little thing. Save your energy for the big stuff, then you can freak out!

2. Our home is the GC weekend project.

3. Take deep breaths if you feel that you might freak out. (Refer to number one)

4. The GC likes to hit the 'send to voice mail button' each time I call.

5. Put face in pillow and scream for 15 seconds if you feel the need to freak out. (Again, refer to number one on freaking out)

6. GC tends to answer DH when he calls and not me. (Note to self, take DH's phone and use it every time you want to call GC)

7. Eat all of the rocky road ice cream if you feel the need to freak out. (You are already getting the picture, no need to refer back to number 1!!)

8. GC is building his home at the same time as you.....enough said.

9. Scream at the car in front of you for going 40 miles an hour in a 65. (this frustration is from holding back all the freaking out....it WILL pass!)
1. When GC says a week, he means a month
2. If you feel the need to freak out, log onto GW!

Homebuilding emotional survival kit

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Homebuilding emotional survival kit

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pinktoesOriginal Author

zone_8grandma

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