I've read through many of the messages posted here and am so glad I found this site. On August 1 (yes, just a few weeks ago), me and my girlfriend had to put our beloved Siberian Husky, Cinnamon, to sleep. She was 15 and a half years old. We had found her in a pet shop when she was eight weeks old and it was love at first sight. We both cried like babies when we had to say goodbye to her. We knew she was old (especially for a dog her size) and I thought I was prepared because she had been showing many signs of advanced age in her final months. Then about a week before we had to put her to sleep, we discovered she had cancer. I knew the time was coming so I tried to be ready for the inevitable. But I found that this was not the case. I still think of her almost constantly and the tears have not stopped. I have gone through the deaths of my parents and others I have known and loved but dealing with the death of my dog has been much harder. I really didn't know why until I started looking for answers on the internet. True dog lovers, as many people have stated, love their dogs as part of the family. Cinnamon was definitely part of the family. She became our second child. One incident that cemented that fact occurred when she was two years old. We had gone to a friend's reception (he had his wedding overseas but came back to the States to have his reception so family and friend could attend). We stayed at his parents house and they had told us that it was okay to bring Cinnamon. They all loved Cinnamon and showered tons of attention on her. For anyone that has had a Siberian Husky, they know that huskies cannot be watch dogs as they love everyone, including strangers. Because of this, I tended to believe that she didn't care who she was with as long as they gave her attention. She proved me wrong. After the reception, we were preparing to drive home and we were packing the car for the trip home. My son, my girlfriend and I were all outside while Cinnamon was waiting inside. She started howling because she thought we were going to leave her behind and wouldn't stop howling until we brought her outside with us. We knew then that we were her family and she wanted to be with us. Through the years, she has always been here. Now that she is gone, I just feel a huge hole in my life. All the routines we had with her are gone. Daily walks, which she loved and pretty much demanded are no more. Watching her sleep always comforted us. Now, that is gone. Stroking her beautiful coat and hugging her, gone. Seeing her 'husky' smile which in turn made us smile, gone. Just a few of the things that made her who she was. I felt so guilty at first because I could hear what some people would say, "She's just a dog. How can you miss her more than your parents?" And being a man, I have to go hide somewhere and cry when thoughts of Cinnamon overwhelm me. But after reading through many of these posts, I realize that I am definitely not alone in my feelings. I know it's going to take a long time before the tears stop flowing and the hurt diminishes. I know that right now, it is way too soon to have another pet in my life and not really sure I want to go through the agony of a pet's death again. I know life goes on and I am trying to find things to fill the emptiness of not having my dog around. She can't ever be replaced but we made a small shrine where her urn, a plaster paw print, some of her soft fur, and pictures of her are kept. Just like bobbyprior posted above, I know that huge hole that exists now with the passing of Cinnamon. Everyone, that came here to find words of comfort, I empathize with you. Posting here really helps with the grief. I pray for all of you and know that even though your beautiful pet is gone, they will always be in your heart and mind. Dwell on the happy memories and try to remember that if your pet was still here and they could talk, they would tell you that you still need to live your life and try to be happy and good toward others. Thanks to all of you that have read my ramblings and I wish you comfort in your loss.

An article in my morning paper has me boiling....It is titled, "Experts: PSU could have avoided fallout".....It seems a PS detective wanted to charge JS will abusing an 11 yr. old boy in May 1998..... Ron Schreffler, a now retired university police detective who investigated the first formal complaint against JS, 14 years ago, told a Centre Country jury this month that then Centre Country DA, Ray Cricar overruled him when he wanted to charge JS with sexually abusing a State College boy in a university locker room shower..... This was way back in 1998????? How many younsters would have been spared????At least 5 victims said he assulted them after 1998.......... Heaven forbid anything be done to put a bad name on PS football or their coaches....Happy Valley certainly isn't or wasn't a very happy place for these victims that were assulted by JS..... Living in Pa., I have a son, and 2 grand sons that have graduated from PSU and each has gotten a very good education but it still leaves a very bitter taste....... Sorry to have gone on and on.......

If I may be spared a moment ... ... what troubles me is that many have a short time horizon with money: spend as they go. But with little provision for funding life if/when they become disabled/retired/whatever. If you don't boss your money ... more than likely it'll boss you ... ... and often your bossing job is now ... and it's bossing comes later, if you weren't shrewd enough in these days. Just one more moment, please: few have enjoyed much of a wage increase in recent years ... ... but prices keep going up. Which means that most of us will have lower effective income next year than this. Rant/sermon complete herewith. I'd love to get a group together to discuss how to cope with those issues ... but can't figure how to recruit the crew. o j

Very happy to hear that your surgery went well. I have printed off your follow-up care for my husband for use say in about 2 years when he develops a cataract. FIRST, on Sept. 30 he has to undergo a Vitrectomy for repair of a Macular Hole in his left eye - this is NOT going to be pretty. We live in Toronto and he will be having procedure done at St. Michael's Hospital. He is 59 and apparently is young to be having this procedure without a related health reason (diabetes) or having been involved in an accident. His eyes are extremely myopic (his lenses cost $1,200 to get "thin" ones so that he doesn't appear to be wearing Coke bottles on his eyes). I fortunately found a lady whose mother just went through the same procedure in Ottawa and she outlined the dos and don'ts and the general horror of it all - which was exactly what was needed as my husband was searching the Internet for "easy" recovery solutions. Their aren't any. The big thing was finding the place that rents the face-down equipment needed for recovery - easy to do in U.S. or Europe, but Canada, well the usual. For those who might need to know who live in the Toronto area or London area (the company covers both areas) the company is called Care Chairs (www.care-chairs.com). They seem to be the only rental provider of the "real" chair, sleep pillow etc. There is another company but they only sell foam pieces - and they aren't nearly as effective. Basically he will have to keep his eyes looking face down - kind of at his belly button for a week. The chair has a 3 way mirror to help him see what is going on. The pillow for sleeping will be attached between the box spring and mattress - unfortunately both beds in this house have footboards so will have to move to floor. I will also have to board our dog - a very claws and Jaws American Eskimo who loves to jump up and I know he would hit my husband right in the eye - not to mention the taking my husband back and forth. He will have to return for a follow-up day after surgery - so a special neck piece for trip in car. At least he is good at putting eye drops in as he wore contacts for many years. I am dreading it - and asked if they could keep him overnight in hospital - apparently not these days - not "medically" necessary. I am sure people who have undergone this procedure would disagree. I even thought of renting a hotel room downtown for first night, but then the equipment will be at home. Ed, yesterday I bought a pair of sunglasses at Shoppers that are designed to be worn over regular prescription glasses to help with the glare. The lady whose mother had the surgery had to wear them for 2 months to help with glare and the effects of the eye drops. My husband has the custom made clip-ons to wear with his glasses but they won't do the trick. They were $24.95 and I think worth every penny. I also bought a speaker phone, a "customer service" bell to put by his hand in case of an emergency and also found by chance a laptop cart that will work perfectly to place in front of chair for taking of meals - best to keep movement to a minimum and we will have to deal with the bathroom issue. I have threatened to sneak Immodium into his food. His main focus is watching TV - this should be the least of his worries. And because he is so mypopic, without his glasses on, he won't be able to see out of his "good" eye! I am thinking books on tape. Heck I was in the hospital several years ago for a week - TV didn't work and I was stuck in the bed hooked up to a catheter and other wires so if I can do it, so can he. But then I am a good patient - he is not. Even he admits it would be a lot easier on him as a caregiver than on me, because I can be trusted. He continues to work on his IBM Thinkpad - without a larger monitor - I told him years ago to ask for one at work and to up the font size - and to stop reading books with such small print. I turned 58 last week and still have 20/20 vision and I have my font at 125 and won't read the books he buys - and I always have my sunglasses on (hazel eyes, light sensitive - I don't squint, hence fewer wrinkles). He is also worried about washing his hair - Jeez - I have a lot of hair, if I could go a week, so can he and there are those "shampoo" caps at SDM Heathcare shops - or I could just run a facecloth over his head. Forget shaving - and he can't get water near his eyes anyway. He will have to wear pajama tops - and since he absolutely cannot roll over onto his back I am going to clip Chip Clips to his top - one person told me the tennis balls didn't work for him. He won't be able to do any heavy lifting either - much as in your case and this will go on for a few months. He won't be able to fly for 6 weeks or until the gas bubble disappears. He has a business trip in Sept., returning on the 21 - and then another Dec. 5 so hopefully he won't get bumped, sick etc. or anything else will happen to delay the surgery. Originally the surgeon had thought the surgery could be posted for 2 years - by that time he will/would have developed a cataract and they would have taken care of everything. But in the past 3 months the deterioration has been far greater than anticipated so will be having the surgery to try to prevent loss of vision in his eye. The cataract will still develop though. He has his father's grey/blue eyes - and he also developed cataracts, but he was 76 and had both removed at same time in hospital. Now if only his company insurance plan will pay for the rental of his rehab equipment. I am not optimistic. They wouldn't pay anything towards his $1,000 sleep apnea mouthguard or his $150 per visit eye tests with the super surgeon (OHIP doesn't cover these tests either) - and these tests cannot be claimed on Income Tax so that you get $2 back - BUT, if anyone is interested, apparently Hair Transplant surgery can be claimed on income tax. But we will try - apparently eyes fall into a different category, but at some point your eyes have to be considered a major part of your body for heaven's sake - it isn't as if he wants a pair of glasses to match every outfit. I did call the insurance company and they didn't point out how few claims we have made for family coverage - well I am allergic to most meds and he doesn't take any and they won't pay for anything he needs! It is going to be a very unpleasant experience for sure and he won't even be able to pick up the 22 lb. dog or do anything outside (which he prefers I am sure). Forget trying to find anyone to help - already did that re snow shovelling - stood at door on Hallowe'en and asked anyone my size or bigger if they would shovel for generous rates (I am 5' 8" - so wasn't asking 6 year olds) - but no takers. Kids around here don't shavel, rake leaves - zip. Apparently the easy way to earn money is to offer to walk people's dogs - as if that is going to happen. My little terror being walked by a 10 year old with no training. We have no relatives in Toronto to help - SO ED, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY NURSEMAID! My husband just came upstairs so I will read him the account of your experience. Again, I am very happy that all turned out well for you. I sure wish this was over.