Rebekkah, I'm so sorry. I hope you will read some of the posts on this forum, including old ones. You will see that you are most definitely not alone. Your mother was young, but not everyone lives to an old age. Many of us lost parents when we were quite young. I was nine when my mother died. I remember thinking similar thoughts to yours: I wanted to take back some of the things I said to her. I can tell you this, though. Not being about to take back things said in anger made me very cautious about what I said to people after that. After the age of nine, I never said anything in anger that I regretted afterward. I'm particularly sorry that you had to witness the medical efforts to save her. If these images persist in your mind, please see a therapist, someone experienced in helping those who grieve and particularly those who have experienced trauma at the same time. Re fairness, try to remember that life is neither fair nor unfair. It just is. When you think about what goes on in the world, it's easier to accept that statement. This was nothing you could have prevented. It's absolutely not your fault. Please try to live as your mother would want. She will guide you for the rest of your life. What would Mom want me to do? is a question you should ask yourself often. At some point you should read Motherless Daughters and Letters From Motherless Daughters. Good books. Finally, keep your heart and mind open to possible signs from your mother. They may or may not come, but if they do you'll want to recognize them. And some night she may come to you in a dream. Keep us posted, Rebekkah. Susan

I can relate somewhat, although I didn't hit anything. Black ice is treacherous and I barely missed a big Coco Cola truck, after spinning in a circle. I know I was completely shaken about it and I expect you were,too. Glad you weren't hurt! Sue

Make sure you get your old check back, first, CR! I'm excited for you, what color is your truck?

Whether I'm a perpetual "poo-poo"er or pragmatic, perhaps it's a fine line! Or they could be synonyms. :) I don't begrudge people going and seeing these people for entertainment purposes but as I have repeatedly made clear, I object when these scam artists take advantage of people who have lost loved ones and need consolation. That's where I draw the line. They're no better than the Bible scam from "Paper Moon". A wrestling match is hardly the same in this respect, though the analogy has some merit. The difference lies in the lies and the use of the lies. Does anyone REALLY believe they sawed the lady in half? At least Copperfield doesn't charge the lady to put her back together! Do people really believe the elephant, Leer Jet or the like disappeared into thin air? Oh, but Copperfield is REAL, isn't he? I can't think of anyone who has gone to a wrestling match hoping to talk to their child who was tragically killed a month or two before. Going for the entertainment and being aware of your senses is fine. Believe in wrestling or believing in the BDIU doesn't really matter unless there's a scam involved. I hardly think, Lydia, that if someone were to say they're off to rape the mentally challenged or bilk seniors out of their retirement fund, that you'd simply say "have fun"! At least I hope not, but then again, I'm not psychic so... ;) Some people believe that soap operas are real. Harmless but what happens when they set up a fund to help "Little Jimmy" in that soap opera and cash in on peoples' need/desire to help? That's a big difference in my mind. Many people used to defend the seance mediums like some here defend John Edward. Are there some mediums, fortune tellers, astrologers, etc that were/are real? Possibly. Go to one for fun? Sure. But really, having a president running a country being guided by one is scary if not sick. Personally I want to believe that there is some sort of afterlife. Way too much reveng to be had for just one lifetime! I also believe I've been contacted by the "dead" on occasion. I also think that some things are coincidence and some are nothing more than a dream. I'll admit I've gone to my mother's grave and talked to her. I'll talk to her even when I'm not at the site of her life container for that matter. Something like that giving comfort to a person is harmless when not abused. So I guess it's the ethics and morals prompting my "poo-poo" rather than disdain. There's a lot of times I've known things would happen, just knew it. I think most everyone probably has the sense in them if they recognize it and can separate it from the rest. But no, I don't think I can chat with the dead on a daily basis, I'm not that big of a fool. But I do think I could scam these people on par with many of them, which my morals forbid. And I'm certainly sensible enough to realize that much can be coincidence too. I would find it interesting to go to one of these things in person or at least see one recorded and unedited, but I can't in good conscience contribute financially to this thing any more than financially support a spammer. And the biggest thing, I possibly could be convinced, but I'd still need an explanation then as to why he needs to "cheat"! I still can't understand why billionaires need to cheat on their taxes though. BTW, nobody has been able to answer these questions for me: If these people truly are the psychics they pretend to be: 1) Didn't Dionne Warwick KNOW her Psychic Friends Network would go belly up? 2) Didn't John Edward know the people would find the microphones? Wouldn't one of the dead folks tell him? 3) Why does John Edward need a GPS? (or any of them but he brags about needing it) and lastly and probably most importantly, 4) Why won't one of them tell Natalee Holloway's mother where her body can be found? We know her mother is very willing to pay big bucks for info and I would think with the greed shown by these scammers they'd line up to grab it if they could. Or for that matter how about finding Jody Husintruit, Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart or even Bin Laden? And good night nurse, why not help poor OJ look for Nicole & Ron's murderer? He searched the golf courses unsuccessfully for years, as promised and could use some help. Hey, they could even do a reality show "Find The Body of the Week". WTH, maybe they should just testify at the trial to start and we would save a lot of money. The dead person could identify the murderer. And hey, once and for all he/they could tell us at which Michigan McDonalds Elvis works! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go "poo-poo"!