Mature women who insist on speaking in a babyish voice is another one that bugs me (since obviously I'm on a roll with being irked here). I know that we're genetically predisposed to speak at a certain timbre, but I also know women who make no effort to deliver their speech in an adult, womanly voice - insisting on pitching this squeaky little girl's voice from the back of the throat instead. Do they think that makes them "adorable"? Because it doesn't. I call that the Marilyn Monroe Syndrome and many young women have become afflicted with it as well. Don't get me wrong I think a beautiful voice is quite attractive. But when I sixty year old or a sixteen year old person uses that baby girl talk I want to spit up. ....Jane

Growing up in Germany, learning a minumum of two foreign languages was and still is mandatory if you want to enter university. Most students preparing for university will actually learn three. So I took English, French and Latin. While I liked English and French classes, even though I wasn't really good at them, I always hated, hated and hated Latin. And at the same time I knew all along that Latin was crucial for a better understanding of my mothertongue as well as the foreign languages I was learning. Don't regret a single day of it. And it is certainly one reason that my English spelling is better than that of most native speakers (I proof read often enough in my job to know). As an adult it was easy for me to pick up some Suahili while travelling. Or take a few weeks of Spanish before a vacation and then at least be able to use some polite phrases - opening up another world of opportunities to discover another country and culture. In the province I live now language learning is not mandatory anymore. They are trying to re-instate mandatory Second-Language-Education at least for Grades 4 through 9 but after decades of not doing it, schools struggle to find qualified teachers (who would want to become a language teacher in a time when no student HAS to learn one???) and build resources. My 6th grader so far has had some French in gr. 4, even got a grade in her report card for being taught 30 minutes once every 2 weeks (reading the report card was the first time I found out that she "learned" French, there was never any homework, exam or such). How the heck can anybody learn a language that way??? It got "better" in gr. 5 where she had 25 minutes of French twice a week. Still, no way to get kids to learn a language. And since it's not even offered at all now in gr. 6 she's all but forgotten everything she's done before. And has come to hate learning another language because of this awful way of language instruction :-( I really want my children to take up French again in Jr. High where it will be available as an option. But I am at a loss about how to convince them when there is absolutely nothing in the school system indicating the importance of such a choice.

Live-Wire-Oak, I thank you for your post. I finally do get it at last that it does not matter if the white is perfect but what matters is how everything in the kitchen goes well together giving that elegant pretty look. The recent kitchens posted made me realize this and the new reveals came at just the right time. The KD and I talked when he came by for his sample doors and he had more changes he made but I told him I did not have time to go over them if I had to order only today before the price went up. I needed to do my work as I like to get done right away what is given to me to please my clients. He agreed that if I could not decide which white door but I still loved the Shiloh Flat Panel beaded inset cabinets, then I should wait and pick out my counter first and then decide how the counter, floors and cabinets look altogether. Apparently each change takes him hours as he does it manually. I explained to him that I had told you to leave everything the way it was but take away the blind cabinet and kept the Lazy Susans. He told me he was trying to make the new kitchen better with other cabinets a little bigger but he sees I did tell him that. He is sorry he heard me tell him a 36" opening and saw all my emails and pictures of the refrigerator I wanted but he remembered the one I had was 33" wide so he wanted it to look build-in so drew the lesser space. I felt bad since he looked like he was going to cry and I told him, timing was so wrong and the pressuring was not good for me and if he gave me the designs right way a few months ago, we could have worked together to tweak it to be what I wanted and then had more time to pick out the right white door and counter but I am too busy to do it right now as my clients are my priority at the moment. I guess I would be more comfortable sitting in front of a computer with a designer making changes to show how it affects my room and my budget. I am that much closer to having my new kitchen with new floors as soon as my tax season ends. I am now finally seeing the forest and not lost in the trees. I did reread all the posts above many times and plan to before looking again after tax season. I still love the Shiloh beaded Inset door in the flat panel. I remember when I picked out my home office desk about 19 years ago. I walked in the store and fell in love with the beautiful Scandinavian teak desk that had a big rounded edge in the front to have more room to go over paperwork with clients. I did not like the price but was told I could get a cherry veneer. I ordered it on the spot and I still love it. When I chose my home, I had looked at 10 houses and disliked them all. When I was faxed the layout of my townhouse, I loved it. When I finally decided to be open to a townhouse, I loved the outside as they all look a little different where I live. I loved the inside layout and the way the home office is separate from the rest of the house. I loved how clients did not walk through my living area and have a bathroom to use in the home office area. I loved my private back yard with the privacy fence and woods in the back. I loved the location and how it was only 6 miles from where I was living and near so many highways but still country like. I went home to measure everything and came back the next day to be sure everything would fit. I then knew this is where I wanted to live and I am still happy here even after over 16 years. BUT when I chose paint and floors, I could not see how it would look as I could only see a small sample and I have been needing help. I get lost in the trees like you said which is so true! I was able to pick the BM Bone White color on the wall as a painting designer on the paint forum of Garden Web told me it only looked dark as I had a big spot on a big white wall and it was actually very light and peaceful and I should just go with it. I then thought, I would listen and I love my wall color. I am finally seeing that once everything goes well together, I will be happy and the perfect shade of white does not exist. I just want someone that listens to me and I guess maybe I need to communicate better what I want since I am a number's person and not a spatial person. The kitchen designer told me when I am ready, he is still willing to work with me if I want to call him and gave me another card. I felt bad since he thought I was buying today but I wish he would have realized that I needed to pick out a counter to tell which door color would be for me and he should have emailed me the new changes to have time to go over them to be sure I liked them. I should have not let myself be pressured and told him that it does not matter if there will be a price increase, now is not the right time as it takes me awhile to go through the process of finding what I want. This forum made me realize it was the whole picture I needed to see and not the individual pieces that would make my kitchen come together. I just wish I had room for an island but I wanted to live where I live and you get so much less for the money. I just reread my post and I can't believe how long it is. I type over 100 words a minute on a big screen computer and I eat my meals as I post. I am eating dinner now before getting back to work. I will leave it as I want to be able to go back and read these posts over and over again before I get back to choosing my kitchen when tax season ends. Thank you!

I have bashed my previous kitchens' oak cabinets but only because they were the awful pickled kind (not put in by us!). In our first kitchen, I liked everything but the finish on our cabs. The layout was nice, the size was good and even the seafoam green laminate did not bother me. I love the size and amount of the cabs. Dh liked the house instantly because of the cathedral ceilings, skylights, open layout, etc... I liked everything but the kitchen cabs and knew they were in too good of shape to justify taking them out. So, I dealt with them for 7 years and would probably still be dealing with them now 6 years later. In our current house, the pickled oak cabs were small, the surface was wearing poorly, the layout was wrong and there were no pullouts or anything functional about them. When the pickled finish starts to wear on oak, it is a sorry sight to see. Other materials develop patina and character, while pickled oak looks diseased with age. I have seen nice kitchens done with oak and may even consider one someday if we were to move (God forbid, after all the effort put in here, lol). I have also seen ones done poorly and done as the cliche of "builder's oak". I also feel that way about some of the new materials that all builders in our area are using (and I do mean "all"). Those kitchens look alike and all are brown wood with beige tumbled travertine, St Cecilia granite or similar, Tuscan type accents and a yellow/gold wall paint. In a few years, people around here will be bashing the heck out of those. Remember the laminate cabs with the oak strip on the bottom? They went from fabulous to hideous pretty quickly in popular opinion from the 80s to the 90s. See anyone using them lately? Oak just needs some time until it becomes retro enough to be cool. Most things come back in time. Just be patient, and you will be ahead of the curve again ;)