Hi...I usually 'read' and learn great stuff here...so now I'm 'chirping in' so to speak... We had the same situation. We used to do the gift exchange with EVERYONE (17 of us) ! After several years, it became a financial burdeon for some. So we then decided to JUST do the children. When they got older and started getting married, we then decided to do A Secret Santa with a $ limit. When that became too much, because of ALL the extened families, I came up with an idea for everyone to buy a Christmas Tree Ornament $10 limit, wrap it up, and do a Grab Bag. Well, this has become such a hit. After doing this for several years. Everyone looks forward to a 'New' surpise Ornament for their tree. They also love the fact that each year they have one from the past, and with a memory of who gave it to them and when. We still buy presents for the small children. I know as families grow, it's hard to keep up, and you don't want to stop the gift giving at all ... That's No Fun !! I hope this suggestion helps..Good Luck. Jane

I suddenly remembered this poem which we had to copy out at school when I was about 10 years old. Great trouble finding it on Google EddieÂs Service by Rudyard Kipling Eddi, priest of St. Wilfrid In his chapel at Manhood End, Ordered a midnight service For such as cared to attend. But the Saxons were keeping Christmas, And the night was stormy as well. Nobody came to service, Though Eddi rang the bell. "Wicked weather for walking," Said Eddi of Manhood End. "But I must go on with the service For such as care to attend." The altar-lamps were lighted, An old marsh-donkey came, Bold as a guest invited, And stared at the guttering flame. The storm beat on at the windows, The water splashed on the floor, And a wet, yoke-weary bullock Pushed in through the open door. "How do I know what is greatest, How do I know what is least? That is My FatherÂs business," Said Eddi, WilfridÂs priest. "ButÂthree are gathered together Listen to me and attend. I bring good news, my brethren!" Said Eddi of Manhood End. And he told the Ox of a Manger And a Stall in Bethlehem, And he spoke to the Ass of a Rider, That rode to Jerusalem. They steamed and dripped in the chancel, They listened and never stirred, While, just as though they were Bishops, Eddi preached them The Word, Till the gale blew off on the marshes And the windows showed the day, And the Ox and the Ass together Wheeled and clattered away. And when the Saxons mocked him, Said Eddi of Manhood End, "I dare not shut His chapel On such as care to attend."

Great topic! We have this very same divide in our family. My Mom is a pharmaceutical chemist who works on drug discovery. Her sister is all about natural/alternative/spiritual approaches. Both believe the other's approaches are ludicrous; neither is going to change their worldview. I usually end up being insincere because I am strongly motivated to avoid family conflict. When I reflect on those conversations afterward, my overly accommodating approach seems shallow and cloying to me. Other times, I call BS and then there is a moment of tension, and then we move on. But I'm not proud of that either. One approach I like is to be genuinely interested in the person and why this particular thing appeals to them, like Daisychain said. 'Oh, I can see how a 25 year old dog would bring great joy! I hope Spotty lives to 25. You never know, right?' I try to keep the conversation around them and their interests, and try to avoid it swinging around to me so that I don't need to admit that I view things 180-degrees differently. That said, I can't stand unsolicited advice, particularly when it's uninformed. I usually go with "Wonderful that that's worked for you. That must bring you great relief. Good for you, thanks for sharing your success." Another thing that has worked and is sincere is when I recount situations where the holistic approach has worked, even if it's for someone else. That helps validate their perspective. Lastly, I accept advice in places where it's trivial. You've got a homeopathic cold remedy? Awesome, I'm all over it. But if the conversation verges toward science denial. the gloves come off immediately. I have no tolerance for that! Last time this happened my aunt backed down immediately. I must have had a dreadful look on my face or something because she dropped it so fast. Interesting times! Good luck, and kudos to you for being thoughtful about it ahead of time. I'd love to hear back about how it went. We can always use more tips.

I'm here alone after all the festivities and many people chattering etc. and I opened your post. I clicked on the reading and shut my eyes and covered them and went on an amazing journey that had me right beside the pilot in body and mind. What a talented writer and the narrator held me right to the last word. I've saved this and going to play it every year too but, for now, I have just forwarded the site to all my family and friends. Thank you soooo much. I loved it. BTW, from a spiritual point of view, we all know who helped him.