I remember those days. I used to send the kids out for a long outing with their dad on a weekend, at least 4-5 hours so I could do a big clean. The park, grandparents house, someplace. The little one loved riding in the backpack, bigger one in the stroller.

Speaking of backpack, I used to do some house work and a bit of cooking with my daughter in the backpack. No leaning over, of course! Only squatting.

I also hired a housekeeper for a while who came every two weeks. That helped a lot. maybe you can find a way to squeeze a housekeeper into your budget every few weeks. You might find one who will come once a month but the charge will be higher per visit I imagine.

I have never used a mother's helper. The kids would want my attention anyway and I imagine there would be quite a number of interruptions from both kids and the helper.

Will your DS tolerate a sling? Similar to the great backpack idea, but more comfortable for you and safer for him. That will get him out of your way and will make him happy because he is in the best place on earth - right up against mom! I used to have to wear my daughter all the time while I vacuumed and dusted. Made me feel much better than having to watch her scream from across the room.

As far as your daughter goes, this is the perfect time to enlist her *help* and start teaching her about responsibility. Give her small manageable tasks (even if they don't really help you, she'll still feel like she's helping). Give her a dry rag and have her wipe down the kitchen cabinets or you can even have her help with the laundry. Have her hand you things from the basket for you to fold. Then, have her help you put things away. It may not be exactly the way you want it done, but it still gives her a job! It will probably slow you down a bit, but you are still interacting with her even if it's not *fun* playtime stuff.

The world is full of mothers who face those problems every day. The only answer is to tolerate less than perfect clean for the years you have young kids....or hire it done and take the kids out while the cleaning help is there.
You could hire a maid service to clean while you are at work.
Linda C

emmhip, I have four, so I understand. I was a single mom for 10 years and even after I remarried, the DH and I worked opposite of each other. I've always had kids underfoot when getting things done. No way I can put off housework until they are occupied or out playing. Every mom I know faces the same thing.

I use Flylady's system and our house is fine. Four is old enough to really participate and they DO love to help. Let her use a feather duster. I have a really small vac which has a handle that telescopes. My six yo has been running this vac since he was four. It's his job to clean under the kitchen table. All of our kids pick up their stuff daily. We set a timer for a few minutes and "room zoom." Mine have made their beds since they got out of the crib. Just throw up a comforter. They always folded the pillow cases and wash cloths as well as put away their own clothing.

I tried the housekeeper route and found it didn't solve the problem for us. Picking/cleaning up daily works much better with little ones around. They want your attention, but will love the attention while doing laundry, loading the dishwasher or just about anything. Quality time doesn't have to be spent doing just a kid activity. They love to do the things you do.

The reason Flylady works for me is the tasks are divided into very short times and I never need more than 15 min. to devote to cleaning. With six of us in the house, it stays in really good shape on les than 45 min. a day (and that's divided up-not all at one time.)

Gloria

Tell the older one to stay out of the way or she will have to help clean. I usually cleaned when they were in bed at night or down for naps.

If you really feel you need some "alone time" to accomplish some of your tasks, how about arranging a play date with another mother of young children, and take turns? Maybe Tuesdays at your house and Fridays at hers, or just once a week but alternate? You'd be taking care of kids anyway, so add in another one or two and really focus on the kids and a fun activity with them. When it's your turn to be alone you can either clean, sit down with a good novel and a box of chocolates, or take a nice, long nap. Personally, I'd vote for the nap....

Could you hire a local teenager to come in, while you are there, and clean under your supervision.

And at four, DD is old enough to do "big girl" things with mom, and help you while you pick up clutter.

Wait until they are 10 to clean. The years pass by so quickly...sit and play barbies, go to the park, take a walk, read to them etc.

You have the rest of your life to keep a clean house. You don't have the rest of your life to enjoy your little ones.

After you are done playing with your kids for a good hour + set one in front of the TV and the other in a playpen and run around like mad for 30 minutes hitting the hot spots. You should not feel guilty since you have just played with them a bunch.

Not a popular response perhaps, but a useful one - let them watch television. My babies were mesmerized by the Baby Einstein videos. For the older one, go to the library and pick something out that is appealing (if you think it must, get something educational). If you make "movie time" for 30 minutes every so often, you can all be happier. Not to mention, kids love repetition so you might be greeted with shouts of "again, again" once it is over.

I may get blasted for using an "electronic babysitter" but all 4 of my kids are bright active children who have not seemed to have sustained any lasting damage from logging in (many) hours of watching tv before they were old enough to go to school.

I hate to admit it,but I let my kids watch TV beginning when they were about two years old. Our local educational TV station had two hours of "toddler" programming-two shows each of Sesame Street,then two of Mr. Rogers. This gave me two blessed hours of peace,when I could safely plunk the kids in front of TV and do some cleaning. This was years ago, before Barney the Dinosaur and TelleTubbies. I hear litte ones today like these shows.

Why not use a housekeeping service every other week for the deep cleaning, and have the kids be involved in daily pickups?

In my experience, it makes the daily cleanups that much easier knowing that someone else will handle the big jobs.

When my kids were young I did use a mother's helper. They were young, 12 and 13 and would come in for just a couple of hours after school, more in the summer. It actually worked well for them too since their mother's worked and didn't want them home alone (they were neighborhood girls). They would play or read to the kids while I caught up on cleaning, sewing etc. During the summer it enabled me to take the kids on outings to the beach etc. Something I would not have attempted on my own with 3 young kids.

I think TV is fine as long as you have spent time with them first.

It really appeases my guilt if I spend a good chunk of time before I clean directly interacting with my kids.

This works so much better than just running around trying to do stuff with them underfoot...it seems like that way, no one wins. They don't get their attention and I don't get my work done.