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My kids are complaining about their step mom- how can I help?

Roberta Burple
5 years ago

My 12 year old daughter has been having a rough time relating to her step Mother. My other two kids

are older so they aren't having such a hard time but do admit the step Mom can be brash.

I want to help my child solve her situation with the Step Mom, without confronting the step Mom.

I am on neutral terms with my kids Dad. In the past as things would happen I would try to address it to him. This didn't go anywhere, things didn't change and my ex admitted to feeling picked on.

His new wife got very irate and contacted me via text to tell me off. I didn't feel hurt by it, as I saw through her anger and realized she was given improper information about me, so I was able to not personalize it. However our kids aren't so lucky. The basic common human rights of every child aren't being recognized in some ways by their dad and in more ways by their step Mother.

Toxic parents exist everyday...but toxic step parents exist too. This lady who has no biological children of her own and adopted our children from age 7 thru 13, has been a huge challenge. She is a school teacher and is confident in her child skills. In the beginning things seemed great ! She plugged into the children and did everything fun with them( hadn't started working yet due to waiting on her visa) Soon after they had a formal wedding and she started to work, and three years had passed, things changed. Im guessing the newness wears off...however Im now seeing my 12 yr old daughter not want to interact with her as much.

Their Dad stands by his new wife no matter what so the kids have learned no issue will be truly addressed or solved and the step Mom can pretty much parent them as she see's fit.

My youngest feels like communication with the Step Mom is "off".

My youngest feels disrespected, mocked, invalidated, triangulated , attacked at times in text conversations, given attitude, eye rolling, sighs, treated like a compulsive liar....

I feel so bad for my daughter. what can I do ? how can I help her learn to deal with manipulative people?

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