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planning for Mother's Day

21 years ago

There are worse things to gripe about but here goes. I'm the one that plans for all the family holiday get- togethers. And usually everyone comes to our home and I do most of the cooking, serving and cleaning. Well, I've been waiting for somebody to say they've made plans for Mother's Day and would my family like to come over,or to learn that reservations have been made and no one has to cook. I've been getting phones calls that I know are "feelers" and I've deliberately not mentioned next Sunday at all. I'm even ticked off at my husband because of this. Should I wait and see what happens or should I be the one to make dining reservations and then tell my husband where he's taking me out to eat? At this point in time, I don't know if there's a place here that will take 19 people on such short notice. I'm just planning on 3 of us going and let the rest fend for themselves. What are your thoughts?

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Comments (3)

MoAtWork
21 years ago
Oh Gosh Mona, What a positon to be in! Our family went through something similiar years ago. Everyone gathered at Mom's house for every special day, didn't matter if she planned for us or not. Then we decided to split the holidays. Each of us took at least one day, it just isn't fair to expect one family member to do all the cooking, cleaning (what a chore!) and pay for it all. I would be tempted to make reservations for just yourself, dh and child. Tell the others, that you just can't do it all and deserve to have a day free from the hassles of cooking, cleaning, etc. Then ask each one what holiday they want to host.
Good luck, it will be difficult at first, for the others to accept the fact that they won't get freebies anymore.
yborgal
Original Author
21 years ago
Nobody took the initiative to make plans for Sunday so I found a nice restaurant that could accomodate us all and made reservations for the whole bunch. We'll get separate family checks so each family pays for it's own. In the past we just divided the check by heads and didn't count the children as diners. We always ended up paying more than our share because the 6 kids (5-9 yrs old) are not ours yet their meals were tallied in the cost of the meals. I've heard some grumblings about the plans but everyone is coming.
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FD, They are only including me in their plans to the extent that includes babysitting the grandkids. The real deal I now know is that the mothers day that this is being engineered for is their grandmother, BMs mother and BM. There is yet another gathering of "the family" this time at their grandmothers vs aunt. I can truthfully say that not only do I not have a problem with this but that is the right thing to do as BMs mother, Skids grandmother, is well in to her 90's and every day is a gift. They should rally around her and celebrate her and even I can step back for that to happen. Just don't push me down to do it. I am going to the social club brunch for Mother's Day. DS7 may come with me or may have some other plans. I think them wanting to celebrate their elderly grandmother is right, I think them riding roughshod over me is wrong. I won't bore you with how I was to be used to facilitate the gathering at grandma's for Mother's Day. To make those plans happen, they need babysitting and a chauffer service to drive the stepgrandkids home. Here's the usual kicker, SS30 won't even be there! This is his elderly grandmother too! He is taking this as a personal weekend, no wife (working), no kids shipped to SD36 and me, everyone wrapped in Mother's Day so he going to the casino with his buddies. Meanwhile, SD text messaged me to heat the swimming pool "for the kids." The noive!
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MoAtWork
21 years ago
Stick to your guns on the checks. It isn't fair that you would have to pay for kids when they aren't yours. If anyone vocalizes their unsatisfaction with plans, say something like "so _______day will be at your house?"
Good luck!!

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