Kohler Villager? Did I make the wrong choice?
Melody Meek
14 years ago
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girlcat36
14 years agowritersblock (9b/10a)
14 years agoRelated Discussions
Feeling like I made the wrong choice
Comments (39)I asked because many abusers slowly work on cutting their spouse off from their family and friends. Mine also said negative things about my family, and did not want to do things with my friends. (couples) If they weren't his friends, he didn't want to do anything. I remember feeling the exact same hurt when he said things about my family. I can't figure out why I never just said "Hey, that's my family your talking about, cut it out." It is overwhelming to realize that you might be or are in an abusive relationship, especially if it is emotional/verbal abuse. It's not as concrete as getting hit, so it's easy to dismiss, or rationalize, especially when the abuser is so skilled at manipulating you to put up with it. Seriously, you should read more books and get counseling alone. And keep a journal. I had been keeping one, and one day, after realizing I was in an abusive relationship, I read it all at once. I was stunned to see a clear pattern. Things were good for a little while, then a blowup. Then they were good again, then a blowup, and on and on. It was a total cycle that I couldn't recognize at the time it was happening. Does he get mad at inanimate objects? Like if he's working on something and the thing is not working, does he blow up, cussing and/or throwing it? Does he put women down? Mine used to always make a comment if the newscaster was 'fat' or 'ugly'. Never made a comment about the less than stellar looking male casters. Women he worked were often referred to as "stupid b*tches". Trust me, he worked with a lot of stupid men, but they were never mentioned. He also had a phrase he often said when we were driving and someone (female) annoyed him: "There's another b*tch in a minivan." Two other lines he liked to say: "You're the only one that's allowed to get mad in this relationship". (HUH??!!) and "You never apologize." Um, I'm supposed to apologize because you yelled at me for [insert ridiculous thing I did "wrong" here]. And in between every incident above, he was sweet, charming, and funny. So it is just so hard, when you're living it, to really see, to really make sense of it and realize what's happening. And even then, you can't quite come to grips with the fact that the person you married, who you love(d) and who loves/loved you, could be doing this to you on purpose. -------- Seven Signs You're In A Verbally Abusive Relationship 1. He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault. 2. When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about. 3. You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions. 4. You're upsetnot so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say. 5. You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad." 6. He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right. 7. You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!" Adapted from The Verbally Abusive Relationship © 1992, 1996 by Patricia Evans. Printed with permission from Adams Media....See MoreDid I make the right Choice? Variable Speed pump.
Comments (1)EcoPumps are basically overpriced two speed pumps. The motors use a run capacitor for the low speed which helps low speed efficient but not enough to make a big difference when you compare it to a regular two speed motor. You might save 20% on low speed but low speed uses such little power anyway, saving 20% doesn't amount to much in terms of $. Plus you can now get an A.O. Smith two speed motor with dual run capacitors for around $300 so you could just upgrade your current pump with a new motor and perhaps a new impeller/diffuser. I am not a big fan of UV systems because in order to do any good, you need to run pump which is more electricity. Chlorine is the only sanitizer required in a pool. The robotic cleaner is probably the best choice you made. It can run without the pool pump which is a big plus. Here is a link that might be useful: AO Smith Motors...See MoreDid I make the right choice on digging up this rose?
Comments (11)This isn't a rare rose,nor should be difficult to replace. IMO, when they get that woody, it's difficult that they can be re-juvenated,so in re-planting itone risks wasting a lot of time and effort. It would be different if it was a very rare variety, of course. But that's just my opinion....See MoreDid I make the wrong choice with these dining chairs?
Comments (36)As far as other changes: a rug won't work in the dining area as there isn't enough space. Any rug that is large enough goes too far into the walkway between the kitchen island. I will be changing the window treatments when I get new furniture and decor. I don't have that much other furniture (my house is small- downstairs is around 700 sq feet). I plan on getting new furniture this spring. A new sofa, leather armchair, rug, sofa table and end table. I want to get away from red and have more blue and creams. New/additional window treatments as well. The kitchen cabinets are in the process of being painted a linen color. Then this summer I hope to tackle the fireplace project , getting rid of the tv stand and including built in shelving. My old plan, with the joss and main chairs, was below. Of course, now that I'm not keeping the chairs it will change. I quite like my Ethan Allen early American dining set, I just wanted to freshen up the rest of my stuff. Incorporating more trasitional pieces. ETA: I know captains chairs exist for my set, but I really don't want more of the same. I do think a slipcovered dining chair, even a wingback, can work if the scale is right....See Morejudithn
14 years agopalimpsest
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14 years agoMelody Meek
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14 years agowritersblock (9b/10a)
14 years agowritersblock (9b/10a)
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14 years agoMelody Meek
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14 years agoMelody Meek
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5 years agowritersblock (9b/10a)
5 years ago
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