Yes, designing and building a new house involves a lot of decisions. It does get tiring. Empathy is important.

But the choices are rather simple:

--Select everything before construction, and include your selections in your drawings and specifications, so that you will know what your true construction costs will be;
--Delay making many of the decisions and sign a construction contract with a long list of allowances, which almost always ensures that your initial construction cost will increase by a substantial amount.

I sympathize with all of the decisions needed for design and construction of a new house or a large remodel, but it's usually better to make the key decisions early rather than delay them and be surprised later.

Good luck on your project.

Thank you! Yes, we're just about finished picking EVERYTHING out! I should have everything finalized next week, and then I hope to sit back and breathe a sign of relief! Then, hopefully this rain will stop and they will make some progress on my basement! :)

I know what you are going through!

We just picked out our lighting fixtures after looking at thousands of websites, magazines and visiting stores. Somehow I keep looking at more fixtures, but I am DONE with lighting, lol!

Now, we need a kitchen sink and faucet. Thought that was going to be easy, then my wife came across a kitchen faucet we love, but the price is 3x what our original selection cost. The sink...apron or not, steel or copper, size, etc!

Next we have to worry about the back splash...and shutters, and shutter color...it never ends.....wwhhhaaaa!!

Good luck!

I totally understand and agree. We are building a semi custom home (footprint was not changeable however everything else was) and we just finished paints and the fireplace this week and off to lighting next week. It sounds crazy - "oh i have so much to pick out for my new build home" but if I ever see another pic on Houzz/tile/paint swatch again after his house I will jump lol

It may be a bit over-whelming at times, but I am loving it! My contractor commented that he is loving my build because I know what I want and do not change my mind! Why stress so much over "things" ...there isn't much that can not be changed later if you just can not tolerate it. Light fixtures, light the space, faucets, carry water, and, sinks, are to do dishes in...why make such a big deal out of it and take away your joy of building a new home?

"I'm tired of thinking about one decision which then leads to another: what color sink, well I need to know my granite first, but first I have to decide on cabinet color"

That's where "inspiration pics" are good for you. Nab a bunch of pictures of rooms you like, and rooms you don't like, and analyse why. Get your boundaries set and your mental picture clear before you start looking at components.

The kitchen forum has a page that describes the Sweeby Test. It is a vision or feeling of what you are aiming for. Then when you are making decisions, you can weigh them against that vision.

But, I know what you are saying. Yesterday fireplace decisions; tomorrow plumbing. Gotta go. I need to pore over a ceiling fan catalog tonight...

Omg! I could have written this post! I am so serious. I have felt like that since Jan. hit. I have made ALL the decisions and that was fine until a few weeks ago when everything went into hyperdrive. I was sick with the flu most of the week...did that matter? Nope. Lights go in on Tues and I am supplying most of them so i had to push through it. I need a vacation after this house is done.

Sad thing is I would have to do all the planning for that too. Its busy but exciting at the same time!

Wow, just got through telling this all to my husband. He helped pick out the brick and then said he was done! I agree, I feel like I'm stuck in a loop. Can't pick "this" out till you know what "that" is. "That" would be easier to pick out if you knew what you were doing for "X". UGH!
I picked out my granite for my island first because I knew I wanted that to be really special. Next, I did cabinets to coordinate with granite. Then, found my floor that would tie it all together. Went to the paint and lighting place today and became very overwhelmed. I just don't want to make a mistake.

Everyone says that building a house will bring out things that you thought would never happen, guess this is one of those things, huh? Can't say that I understand, but I get how it could be very draining to think about. Yours is a good problem to have and many wish to have it, myself included. It means that you are getting to build your home and include items that reflect your personal taste. Sorry, but I just can't feel sorry for ya, but best of luck with it all.

Sanctuarygirl sums it up well! I don't complain to anyone about my woes except DH (& c'mon, they are not woes at all - just annoyances at times) - I even keep a lot of that to myself because DH doesn't want to hear me constantly beotching & moaning about this process. We are trying to enjoy it to the max. Several friends & family have mentioned they are jealous of us (not in a mean-spirited way, just they wish they were in the same position financially to build a dream home). I am extremely careful about talking about this process with ANYONE - including my mom! When someone asks how the process is coming along, I give short answers & change the subject. I kind of think of it along the lines of planning a wedding or planning for that first baby; you are so excited & at times want to stand on the mountaintop screaming how excited you are. But at the end of the day, no one really cares so deeply about any of that, except for the 2 people going through it (well, & the parents & grandparents of those people). It helps to keep it all in perspective.

I guarantee 95% or more of the people in this world would give their left foot to trade places with many of us.

I'll end with a newspaper clipping I look at sometimes. Sorry, I don't know the source.

Love that Wishi! Building a house is kind of a lonely thing. DH and I are young, so NO ONE we know is in the same position, except one couple we just met. We got all our kiddos together recently and was so fun to talk about since I don't share with other people. DH's coworkers have made it clear they don't want to hear about it (DH was not even talking about it, just a few small vents here and there). But at the end of the day, we are all so lucky!

I needed to read that, Wishi, thanks! And here I was obsessing over a scratch the mason made on my hardwood floor.

Love the graphic, wishi! Gonna steal it...LOL Happy house building to all!

I couldn't agree more with the above post. During our build just the whole process at times was stressful but I had to keep telling myself how thankful and blessed we were that we were able to sell our previous house and be able to build another house because there are so many people today that are hurting. There are also millions of people out there who would love to be in any our situations who are building and trade places immediately no questions asked! So not to say the selections or house building process still won't be "stressful" :), but along the way try to sit back and enjoy the process because in the end anyone who is building is "TRUELY BLESSED" & as stated earlier all of those little details we ALL thought were so important will be forgotten soon enough as you enjoy your new house! :)

Enjoy the process and congrats!

I agree, I just really started and the pressure is already on. Trying to stay within the allowance is proving to be a daunting task.

What do you mean I have to pick out the door hinges ? I thought doors just came with hinges ?!?!

Once you've done it a few times, a piece of cake. Except for choosing paint colours beyond white, beige or grey. In my case, a couple of Benjamins to a colour consultant is well worth it. And this is from a severe pennypincher!

How do you find a color consultant?

Just reading the responses, as I've been crazy busy. Interesting perspectives... Yes, I do know I'm incredibly lucky, and I don't discuss our bldg process with anyone other than dh. I realize no one wants to hear someone saying, "Poor me -- I'm building my dream house and it's so exhausting and stressful!" ;). however, I know a lot of people here at GW can totally relate! The good news is that I've signed off on my cabinets, all appliances, all plumbing fixtures and all my doors since posting this original post. Yay, me! Hope everyone's build is goin well! * and Worthy, yes, please tell us -- where does one find a color expert? I'd love to know!