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MIL Passed away

20 years ago

I thought i should let you all know that Als mother passed away about 11 pm last night. they await to stop all the machines until Als older sister flew in. this sister and her husband will be staying with a cousin here, because the other 2 sisters are too much for her to handle. funeral will be on thursday afternoon

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Comments (14)

lasershow
20 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this news, Debbie. I hope you and Al and your kids are holding up okay.
PeaBee4
20 years ago
There is always so many complex emotions when something like this happens. I hope that you and Al take care and not get overly tired. Neither one of you needs that. Let's hope that the Sisters settled down too. We'll be thinking of you and wishing we could give you more support to help you through the next few days.
PB
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Connie_K
20 years ago
Debbie, please tell Al how sorry we are that his mother has passed. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Connie
heydeborah
Original Author
20 years ago
sorry when i posted i hit the send button to soon. i also wanted to mention that Carley (dd) and i were in the icu waiting room the whole time. at first Al didnt want to go his exuse was its too cold out, i told him he would regret going and that we think he should go. Al is fine, hes sad but i think the sisters are driving him up the wall, he told me to unplug the phone! he said he is left in the dark all the time so let them do what they want if it makes them feel better. i am also fine, just taking a little more time with Al. Carley is indifferent, she wasnt going to go to the funeral, but she said shed go for Al and only him, Matthew said he was sorry, but can i come home. i;m fighting off the flu, and its so bitterly cold her - about 8. now that i read these posts, i think what a weird family!!! debbie
mimi427
20 years ago
((((Debbie))))
As PB said, times like these are never easy. My condolences to Al, you and the rest of your family. Debbie, please don't think your family is weird; from what I've read, sounds pretty normal to me :) . My boys are in their early thirties now, so they are settled, but boy oh boy, if this was 12 or 13 years ago, could I give you an earful!! One of these days, remind me to tell you about my son and "naked beer slides".... by the way, it's quite cold here too and we're expecting 3-6 inches of snow by Friday morning...yuk!
Mimi
DianePA
20 years ago
((((Deb and AL and family)))) so sorry!! DianePA
barker_tx
20 years ago
Deb I too am sorry to hear of Al's mother's passing - from what I have read here it sounds like she wasn't the easiest person to have around, but even so it still sad for Al and I guess a not easy time for all.

Hope he manages to get thru this sad time OK and no matter what their differences were, there probably will still be some sadness........sometimes it is just sadness for what there wasn't between them....even anger at what 'wasn't to be'....I suspect he'll have several emotions.

Rusty wasn't real close to his Dad, but he did 'hurt' when Emory was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, though he did manage thru the funeral much better than we expected.

Hoping for the best for all of your family.

Carolyn
nora8
20 years ago
Dear Deb, Just catching up on all that you all have been going thur. Sorry to hear about Al's Mom....Carolyn said it so well....so sad for the "wasn't"...prayers for you all as you go thur this time....happy to hear that DS is wanting to come home....hang in there Deb...you are an inspiration to all of us. Blessings, Nora
scotland1
20 years ago
Deborah: My condolences to Al, you, and the rest of your family. I hope that you are pleasantly surprised by Al's sisters in the days and weeks to come. Take care of yourselves. I think Al has the right idea: unplug the phone and don't get sucked into the family drama. Please continue to let us know how you're doing.

Scotland
heydeborah
Original Author
20 years ago
good morning as i say through 5 inches of snow on the ground. You all said it so right --thewasnt) (sorry something is wrong with the keyboard). sil e-mails Al last night and tells him to tell matthew and carley to think of wonderful memories for the ulegy for grandma, Al says what do we do, she didnt do anything for them, never went to any of their functions, slept over or made cookies, he told me to start thinking of something. also they had his mother cremated, Al thought this was weird since his parents have a double plot and again he was kept in the dark, he found out about the cremation by reading the new paper!! he is not a happy camper right now and not impressed with the sisters. now i see what people go through, if thinks werent so sad it would almost be a comedy. well i drove to the store to get the newspaper and all i did was slide! the roads are so bad! anyways enjoy your day, because you deserve it! ps Scotland call me debbie or deb, we're all friends here!
abreeze
20 years ago
May God bless and comfort Al, you, and the family. May He pour His healing oil on the troubled waters...
derryw
20 years ago
Dear Debbie...OI do not know how I missed this the other night. Please give Al my thoughts and hugs to all. You all have had such a time. I am sorry things were so "strained" with the MIL, but doesn't sound as if there is much you could have done to make it different. I hope all this stress doesn't get Al down. It is never easy to lose your Mom, even if the relationship isn't the best.
Please take care of yourselves. (((Deb and Al and kids))). Derry
heydeborah
Original Author
20 years ago
Oh you all are the BEST!!! we are all fine!!! I asked Al how sad he was, he said not at all, he said that she was so mean to us and treated us all so bad that you couldn't be sad, -(how terrible for a child to say that about a parent, i couldn't say that to him, though), she was not a nice person, other than the family yesterday and the 3 sisters, Al and an Uncle and our families (spouces, and children, and our own friends) only 2 of her friends showed up, so i can now see that i did nothing wrong at all it was the way she was. she was cremated and the family went to the cemetery --it was -31 degrees with the wind chill, my comment was she's paying us all back - lol. ds came home for the rest of the evening. and things are back to normal. i have learnt a valuable lesson from this woman though, that no matter what, you should try your best to be nice to everyone who passes your way, the payment in return is priceless! thank you again for all your prayers, debbie, trying to keep warm again in this cold,cold weather.
SLCSue
20 years ago
Deb,
What wisdom you have. The love and support you have shared with all of us shows that you already are living a life that will reward you tenfold! You and Al, and your 2 wonderful kids are weathering all the storms life passes out, and finding your way together. I know it is not always without pitfalls when families love, grow and stretch, but you know who you are, and what you need, and you will come through it together. I am sorry Al's
Mom is gone, and I am sure deep in his heart, he is mourning the loss. She missed out on so many good things in life with you, Al and the kids. It sounds as though she may have raised her daughters to be like her as well. May God rest her soul, and bring peace and closure to her family. Susan

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