Ok. Next year, hopefully, is my first year of not buying plants, because I couldn't get the one's I wanted this year. I live in a 'Flyover' area so my resources are limited. I bought the best resource book I knew of, and I'm following their directions. I'm Midwestern and hot foods do not appeal to me. I garden mostly by the rules that I was taught by my grandmother in the back yard garden. I am a Master Gardener who learns something new about growing (and sometimes killing things) all the time, and tries to share it. This isn't a competition. I'm just trying to help. Peace. Blue Cat.

Mari, Hi! Sounds like I'm in a similar position to your sister. In October I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that had spread. At our first meeting with the oncologist i was told that this is not a curable cancer and that with no treatment I would live 6 - 9 months and with treatment 9 - 12. I was not a candidate for surgery or radiation since the cancer had spread so much. The oncologist was proposing an aggressive chemo that had only a 40% response rate. 2 year survival less than 5%. However he added that what I had going for me was that I was young (44) and in great health (other than this little problem) and that someone had to be in the 5%. Hospice was never mentioned. I began chemo on 10/17 and just finished the 6th round (it will go on indefinately). However the size of my tumors have shrunk 60% since diagnosis and no new ones. So far I'm a success story. The doctor is even talking about giving me the "summer off" if I continue to respond in this way. While the chemo is certainly no picnic; it is not as bad as I thought. Nausea/vomiting is 100% controlled by medication; so that is not a problem. Being bald is the least of my problems and hey I don't have to shave my legs. The worst is the fatigue and some bone/muscle pain 9bedrest and Tylenol help but out of every 21 day chemo cycle I feel more or less like myself for about half the days. Anyway... I don't know if my situation is relevant to your sisters but I wanted to give you another perspective. Everything I have heard about hospice has been wonderful and won't hesitate when the time comes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Any chance your DS has allergies that you could blame? My DS is 12, sleep overs are common with his friends. But he has one friend who is very allergic to cats. That kid will play here for a couple hours, but he'd really suffer if he tried to sleep here. (At least that's what they *tell* me...hhmmm....) The same friend invites DS to sleepover at his house often. (I get the impression the kid is timid and prefers his comfort zone, too.) I've been annoyed at the times DS has told me they did not have dinner. I don't know what is going on, mom seems competent and house is very tidy. I think they just have no schedule on weekends and forget to make dinner, and they boys don't ask to be fed. But they are 12, old enough to fend for themselves in a kitchen if they need to.. PBJ or whatever. DS fends for himself at home sometimes. I just would never do that, I stuff 'em full when my kids have friends over. LOL. It's not reason enough to say no, especially at this age, I just always make sure DS is fed before he goes to that house. Here's one that was beyong awkward, though. My DD has a friend who hosted a slumber party, DD went. Couple weeks later the mom of the same friend called to invite just DD to sleep over. My DD was 8 then, and knew who I was talking to and about what by my end of the phone conversation. Her eyes got big and she shook her head emphatically "NO!" So I tried to cover quick and said something about having plans. I was surprised by DD's response, so I sat down right away to get an explanation. She said she was scared of the girl's dad, that he was angry and mean and she didn't want to be there if he was there. Of course I was worried, asked question as subtly as I could to make sure nothing happened to her. She just insisted he was scary b/c he was always mad. I had no idea how to handle that one with the girl's mother. And I felt like I should tell other moms of the girls' mutual friends, in case their DD's hadn't said anything. Before I had to deal with it again, the couple divorced, mom and girls moved out. At that point, I confided to the mom why DD didn't accept an invite again. Very weird. I was proud of DD for telling me how she felt and listening to her inner voice. DD did not want to talk about it anymore, and I feel pretty sure nothing happened to her. But as a mom, I will still always wonder what went on there that night, if dad was verbally or even physically abusive to mom... or if he was just very grouchy. I have never seen her respond that way to a friend's parents. You can still back peddle on the age thing. I like honesty with tact. You can say that your DS had some fun in the past, but you can tell it was just too soon and he is more comfortable at home.

bpath-My dad was under hospice care for over a year before he died. He already lived in a skilled nursing facility, and hospice was adjunct care. He had congestive heart failure and made the decision that he did not want to continue taking medications except comfort ones. Medicare covered his hospice care 100%. The doctor at his facility would request extensions from Medicare, and they were granted. I am sorry you are having to make these decisions, but we found the hospice staff and nurses to be wonderful. They knew when his time was near, so one of my brothers, my mom and I were able to get there and be with him when he took his last breath. They even offered us free grief counseling after he died. I am thinking of you and praying for the best outcome in a difficult situation. Hugs.