How to get my 85 yr. old mother in my SUV?
heidiho
13 years ago
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asolo
13 years agoRelated Discussions
Twin mattress for 83 yr old mother
Comments (10)My father-in-law lived with us from age 86 until he died last year a few days after his 92nd birthday. He had numerous aches and pains when he first arrived. We bought one of those electric beds for him, twin XL size, with a remote control. It raised and lowered at head and knees and had a vibrating feature. We attached the bed to a regular twin headboard that matched the other furniture in his "suite." We also put an egg crate topper and a regular WATERPROOF mattress pad on the bed, then flannel sheets. Cozy. His main exercise every day was making the bed, the bending and stretching that he did in performing the task kept him more limber than if I had made the bed for him. It turned out that DFIL hadn't been to a doctor in years and I started taking him in every three months, just like changing the oil in the car. The doctor put him on several medications and his quality of life improved a lot. Three squares and interacting with the family helped, too. Bringing him to live with us was a lifesaver for him and enriched our family. You may find that your mother hasn't been seeing doctors on a routine basis, so living with you may immediately improve her access to medical care. I agree with the previous poster completely about pain management and investigating that route. We spent about $1,100 for the bed and it was money well invested. You could try looking at classified ads and estate sales for such a bed at a lower cost. My teen daughter cannot live without her feather bed, it's like a four-inch-thick mattress pad. A feather bed might be more comfortable for your mother than an egg crate or foam topper. We bought ours at the mail-order (also web) Company Store....See MorePlease help - Mother of 13yr old boy
Comments (7)Kay.... Going through the teen years can be like the terrible two's but with a much larger child! It can last for years. Don't get discouraged. I have a DS16 and just trying to have, what I consider, a normal conversation with him can sometimes make me want to stick hot pokers in my eyes....or his. It might be a good idea to talk with him at a time that is calm and remind him what the rules are. I have tried to lay down some sentences that I can say to DS16 during a discussion or disagreement that can remind him of the rules....Such as...."Remember who you are speaking to."...."You need to lower your voice."....."Your tone of voice sounds disrespectful to me." and so on. Sometimes he doesn't even know that he is loud or that I think that the way he is saying something in bothering me. All of that being said....do what you can to rule out the things that we all fear as parents of teens....alcohol or drug use, inappropriate internet use, depression, becoming sexually active. I'm sure I have left things out but you get the message. This day and age is tough. I feel for these kids. All the more reason to not let go of your house rules when it comes to respect and safety for the teens. Discussing with him some changes that he might like as he matures is an option. Stress the "As he matures" part. He needs to learn to handle his anger, talk about his feelings and still follow the rules. Each one comes to a calmer place at a different time. Some take a long time. The hard knocks of life can be the only teachers for some kids. Parents lose IQ points big time when their kids hit their teens. I wouldn't rule out getting him into see a counselor if you feel his anger is beyond control. Some kids can't talk to their parents and a third party can really help. It doesn't mean that their is something wrong with him. His brain and his body are on mega drive right now. Watch how he grows in the next few years!....I have heard that every growth spurt, whether it be mental or physical is preceded by an emotional time of turmoil. I think that is true when a child is entering into the just beginning to walk months and the teen years. Just fasten your seat belt. The ride will be bumpy at times. It is a good thing that God gives us these kids as sweet little babies. If we got them as teenagers they would likely mysteriously disappear...or we would. I remember thinking, when my DD20 was a teen and she would be mouthing off to me...."You know child, you are standing way to close with your back to those stairs to be talking to me like that."...Of course I would never push her but a bit of a sense of humor helps!!!...See MoreMy 18 yr old son met his father for the 1st time
Comments (10)What would happen if your son said, fine, dad, I'm all in favor of forgiveness & putting the past behind us; let's just get the business part of it out of the way first; you just pay mom what the court says you owe her & I'm your boy, okay? Your situation reminds me of something my old roommate Laurie told me: Her mom, Fran, divorced her dad & didn't take one cent in settlement; Fran had been a homemaker her whole adult life; she didn't have the funds to fight her ex in court, & she knew she couldn't help her daughters financially, so she agreed to waive her rights if Laurie's father would pay for college for both their daughters. Laurie talked to her dad at least once a week, & he knew she was paying for her college with loans & grants, & he never offered to help. There were weeks when she ate ramen noodles, & he never offered to help. Laurie's younger sister was living with their mother, Fran, in their home country, where Fran had returned to take care of her mother & to get a job with a relative. At that time, international phone bills were prohibitively expensive, so Laurie hardly ever got to talk to her mother. When the younger sister graduated from high school, she came to Texas & got in touch with Laurie, & Laurie helped her get a scholarship. About 6 months later, Fran came to Texas to visit her daughters; when she found out that the girls had had *no* help whatsoever, she blew a gasket & called their father. made no difference; The father claimed that he would have helped the girls if they had *needed* it, but that they were doing fine on thier own. so Fran got no settlement, her daughters got no help, & her ex kept all the money....See MoreMy 9yr old SD has hr long crying fits for her pregnant bio-mom
Comments (12)Custody and access are two seperate things. BD has always had joint custody. It's called joint conservators. He has not always had access. He had supervised access. Joint conservatorship basically means we both have exclusive rights and duties to the child. I have two exclusive rights he does not have. The right to designate residence and the right to make educational decisions. We both have the right to seek medical treatment, provide shelter, food and clothing; the right to inform the other conservator of any info concerning health, welfare and education. We both have the right to religious guidance. He has a duty I do not have and that is to provide child support payments in X amount per month. As far as access it's about 60/40 now. It's called expanded standard possession. He has set weekends and days of the week, we split spring break, christmas and thanksgiving. He has superior rights to designate his access during the summer. My access is all other times not outlined as his possession time. Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Even with all of the mess we have been through, bd has always been a joint conservator he just had limited Access for a while. If I had sole custody I would not have to tell him anything about health, school etc. He would not be able to confer with the school. Even with limited access he still had a right to speak to teachers or to get medical records. With expanded standard possession during the school year, on a month with 30 days, Bd has 12 days, I have 18 days. During the summer he averages about 40 total days and I average about 46 give or take a few during a summer break of about 88 days. That almost 50:50 during the summer. Does that make sense?...See Morebriejean
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