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Moving to my mothers home

15 years ago

Hi.. The time has come for my wife and I to move in with my mother. My father is in a nursing home and my mother is not coping well. She's still moderately capable, but tired, sick and confused. They want us to give the home to us and count on us to take care of my mother. I've heard of a "co-habitant with survivorship" document and living trusts, but really know little about them. Has anyone "been there, done that" that could offer some advice? Thanks ron

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Comments (2)

fairegold
15 years ago
Talk to a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. I'll include a link to one who practices in California, because he's done a great job on some of his columns in the local papers. You HAVE to have this done properly or you will have potentially massive tax consequences. Don't do to a general-purpose attorney, go to a local specialist. It will save you thousands of dollars in the long run.

Oh, it will also save you time and grief as well.

Good luck, Ron. Your parents are lucky to have you looking after them!

Here is a link that might be useful: Len Tillem, check out the columns
mikeandbarb
15 years ago
This solution might not be for everyone but this is what my granny and uncle did. He had been living with my grand parents/ his parents for about 5 years before his dad my grandpa passed away. He stayed at their home helping his mom out where needed then over the years as granny's health started going they decided to have my uncle buy the home from her and my dad. The deed was made up and he purchased the home for 20 dollars, ten for granny and 10 for my dad. Granny bless her heart started slowly showing signs of dementia. First time I noticed it was when she'd ask who my kids her great grand kids were.
By the end she didn't know who her kids were unless they'd point at a picture of them when they were young. She lived in the past, she could tell you just about anything you wanted to know about the past.
I realize this isn't for everyone but for our family it worked out great at the time but now it will not work for my dad and me. My uncle passed away nearly two years ago, he had never remarried. I can't afford to take care of three homes, so we cannot do this - this time around. I wish I could cause there is a lot at stake if dad goes into a nursing home and being that I cannot take care of dad due to my own health, we stand to lose both homes. My dad has lived at the same location for 75 years. My grand parents owned the lot next to their home and when dad got married they gave him the lot and dad had a home built.
It will be heart breaking if we lose the homes. There are many great memories there.
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