IMO, your father is playing both of you like a fiddle. As long as each of you are complaining about the other one, all focus is off of him. Brilliant! Golddust.. I agree. I've started replying 3 times and deleted all of them. I think there's more to the story & doubt it's just the girlfriend. Reading her letter, she probably thinks she's helping her man. Danielle, the best advice I can give you is to try to understand where she is coming from; but don't let her walk all over you. This is a very touchy situation; you know what your dad was like when you were growing up & she came into the picture after he was out of his "unhappy" marriage. While he's probably told her his side; she's never going to know what really happened because she wasn't there and IMO.. she needs to respect your feelings & how hurt you were by him but try to respect her for trying to be there for your dad now. I have issues with my step son. He likes to go back to his father & say that I said this or I said that. When my hubby fell off of his truck I sent him an email because he stopped speaking to my hub & wouldn't you know it, he twisted my email around trying to start a fight between my hub & I. Thankfully my hub knew about the email before I sent it; it was a rude awakening to my hub of just what his son would do to get me out of the picture. This is all in SS's head, not mine because I can be grown up about it & smile like nothing ever happened but he can't. The best advice I can give you is to try to have a relationship with your dad without the GF around every time. You still need father/daughter time. I encourage hub to call his son or go golfing with him because even though we can't see eye to eye, it's still his son. My hub does not talk about me when they are together & if the kid starts, he says it's between you 2 and not me. SS's mother was an alcoholic - probably why he hates me so much because we have the life he never had growing up & his father has been raising my 2 kids for the last 10 years.. so he's bitter; but he's also an adult man in his 30's & a divorced father. I don't feel that the GF was trying to place "blame" on any of the kids for the marriage/drinking problems, I read it as her just stating why he was drinking. My dad stayed in a bad marriage because "It was cheaper to keep her" & we kids suffered with the fighting. Dad was not around most times, he chose to work as much as he could.

Sadly, he can probably get off more easily than any of us would like to think. I don't know, but the realist in me says find a way to move. You can't depend on the neighbor's being incarcerated to go forward with a normal life. It sounds like your neighbor's "crew" still assembles despite his absence. If he and his friends disappear, is there potential for a replacement problem group taking up "residence" in your immediate vicinity. Could you have friends over for an impromptu summer bbq? It seems as though you can't plan anything outdoors so long as your neighbor's son & his friends are around. I can see this getting worse first before/rather than better. Things are definitely not in your favor with regard to the current real estate market, or for that matter, the economy in general. However, when it gets to the point that your kids can't safely go outside to play on a nice day, and you are living in daily fear, is it really worth your sanity and that of everyone in your family? I am a fighter as well as a total optimist. Before reading about your situation, I would have adamantly defended my right to live in my home. I would not allow the behavior of another make me move from a home I created. However, under your circumstance, I would definitely consider all options, moving being one of them. Is there a reasonable possibility that your neighborhood will get progressively worse, or is this an isolated thing within a 10 block radius of your home? If I were to take a walk in your neighborhood, would the gang presence be obvious to me? What is the the town like overall? It may be a strategic move to get out of this neighborhood now before it becomes reputed for its higher potential for crime? Also, I can't remember if you mentioned having any pets. If you do, they need protection from this situation as well. I wish I felt more optimistic about this getting better for your family. You and your DH are the only two people who can gauge what your home life will be going forward if you do stay in your current home. Also, I don't know the ages of your children and how "at risk" they are being next door to this kid and his friends.

Even though someone else might be liable, I would question whether their insurance company has the right to deny their claim. Their insurance company would pay the claim and then would then go after the company (or their insurance company) who WAS liable - which might take a court to determine. After your folks receive a written denial, I would call their state Insurance Commissioner and file a complaint. Most insurance companies do NOT want the Insurance Commissioner involved. Most every state has free legal services for people over 60, regardless of income, through contract awarded by the Area Agency on Aging and Legal Services Corporation. However, the services are very limited and might not cover this type of problem, but it is worth a call. While most Legal Aid's are prohibited from suing for damages, they might take a case where an insurance company is shirking their coverage. Click on this link and put in their zip code and select legal assistance from the list. Then put in their zip code again and you'll see what services are available. I linked to the first page because there are lots of resources available, and thought maybe some others might be interested in seeing. Here is a link that might be useful: Finding Legal Assistance

Thank you everyone I know I am being a bit sensitive and probably a bit insecure and worrying when I should be grateful. Our living situation makes me insecure. I blame my mother lol it's something I deal with in therapy but I still have made any headway on it. I have lived the 'with money' life with my ex and even when I say, id rather have love than money any day, since I've had both, I still wish I owned my own home, in a neighborhood full of kid with my own flowerbed to dig in and my own walls to paint. It's a goal. We are close but it's been a long two years. Mostly because I have legal fees out the you know what... And I married a man that never planned to marry or have a family and so he never planned for the future. At our ages we are just starting and we have two kids to raise... One is half way out the door ... My son will be settled and in a home in a neighborhood before he starts school and he probably won't remember that if it weren't for hand me down clothes, he might have not have been dressed the last two years. Thank goodness for our blessings because we have always been able to pay the bills, afford extras for the kids and cover the little things that come up in life. I come from a home where we never moved. My mom still lives in the home she bought 42 years ago when she married my biodad. Our lives were always very settled and we all went to the same schools, had the same teachers etc. Grew up with the same neighbors and friends. Dd has moved 3 times in her life, has been to 2 schools and I'm just feeling guilty that we aren't as settled as we should be. I know people move all the time but for someone that came from such a settled background, it's hard to justify to myself my unsettled feelings. I know my Dd doesn't care, I'm sure she doesn't. She is too worried about what books she is going to read and what performance she will do at the talent show. With that said, she hears a lot from her dad about how crappy we live. I know he and sm are just trying to upset me and maybe even make her think the grass is greener over there. I would not say I am jealous of them at all but I feel insecure that he COULD provide a more stable environment for Dd as far as a home goes. Nothing more. I provide fine for her mentally, emotionally, financially. He has made comments that with the amount of support he pays we should be living in a better area. Couldn't be further from the truth but I internalize it and I worry that as Dd gets older, she is going to buy in to what he says to her. And she won't want to be with me anymore. It's just a fear I'm sure there is no basis for it but it is my feelings and I can't do anything but accept the way things are and move on. Thanks again for letting me vent here and giving me great advice. I really appreciate it!!!