It's been a couple of weeks since your posting, so I hope you've been able to follow-up on some of the good advice you've already received from this list. I will add to the other comments that your SIL should ask about a speech pathologist. I think Medicare/Medicaid should provide this. They can help with his eating/chewing difficulties. Also, there are medications (Megace, Peri-actin --not sure about the spelling of those) that act as appetite stimulants. Loss of appetite is something that often happens to the elderly. Probably the other issues -- cancer, radiation, loss of dentures are complicating the situation. He might be depressed too, which causes a loss of appetite, or it could be the dementia. In any event, if they can give him some medication to stimulate the appetite, and have him work with a speech pathologist to assist with chewing difficulties, likely he will feel better. All of the symptoms you listed CAN stem from vascular dementia. The body is a finely tuned machine, and when you have a "break down" in one area (such as the inability to chew or eat), it can often act like a domino effect in leading to other problems. My experience in taking care of my 84-year old father has taught me not to wait for the doctors or caregivers to make suggestions for my father. Instead, if I see a problem, I research it and bring it to the doctor's attention REPEATEDLY until he/she addresses it. My father had SEVERE anemia and the doctors were really dragging their feet. Finally one day my Dad said to me "I don't think they realize how bad I feel." I called the doctor and they finally took my Dad seriously and admitted him to the hospital, and he needed a transfusion of FOUR units of blood. Then, he wasn't eating (likely a result of the anemia), and the doctors were fully aware he wasn't eating, but they didn't seem to offer any advice. Then I learned about appetite stimulants and asked the doctor about it and they said "okay" let's try that. Now he is eating very well and he is feeling much better. So, tell your SIL to ASK, REQUEST, BEG, do whatever to get your BIL comfortable and healthy. Mary

What an article. I am over-whelmed at the moment. It has hit very very close to home. My Dad was in much the same condition/mental state for 6 months before he died and I was his caregiver. I moved to FL to live with Mom and Dad and take care of him. His dementia was brought on by something a pd caregiver did/gave him . She had been in their home for 1 month. She and her spouse were attempting to get my Dad to sign checks behind Mom's back. By the time Mom realized what was going on and my DB and I got there all was lost. Except for the horror and the bills the incompetent medical community that we had to deal with. My only fault with the article is his ending. There is nothing you can do personally that will hasten your own end except suicide. If you decided to do this while you are still able then so be it. But...if you wait...ah...then who will you designate to carry out your wishes. Will they ? When will be the right time ? Tomorrow...OK...what if it is a good day ? See what you are facing. Hubris ...that is what is at work . Thank you Gold for a powerful thread and roselvr for an eye opening article. And the writer, thank you. Here is a link that might be useful: Hubris

Allison, I was responding to the posts that were saying something about finally a picture of a kitchen worth $1M. At that point you really do have to differentiate between good neighborhood urban or lakefront horse property and new suburb new construction no location value. The what do you get for the price is an interesting question across the board, but the "million dollar worthy kitchen" needs context. I suppose it's different here than in other places. The properties have a lot valuation/structure valuation, so it's normal for us to think that way. The structure value isn't cost of build or insurance or anything, just the difference between what the lot would assess for if it were cleared and what someone would pay for the place as is. You can even do that in Igloo's case. Every house has features and detractions, all of which are subjective, but a value can be put on it because someone did buy it. Where there aren't good comps it's harder to value the lot, but because most features of the lot are intrinsic (though things like views and services do change) the lot prices are calculable to a good enough extent. For our purposes, just "lakefront, view, 2 acres, CT" or "new suburb, quarter acre, flat, IN" or "city, near transport and universities, lot under 10K s.f., Boston" is enough, with the frontage, to give context whether you're looking at a vacation/retirement house, a big new family home, or a town home.

I don't think age has much to do with it. If you're going to fall you are going to fall. I do think there is a time in your life where you should not be thinking you are 25 years old anymore!!!! Saturday morning we got up to wet carpet along an outside wall. Our buildings are almost like a T in shape. The snow and ice in a valley of the roof was melting (in the 30's the two days before) the water ran down the valley behind the vinyl siding to where it met the cement floor, then ran in somehow. DH has used the roof rake at least 3 times this winter pulling piles and piles and piles of snow off the roof.You stand on the ground to use a roof rake. DS got up on the roof and used a snow shovel to clear the roof also. So 4 times its been cleaned off, but still a bad ice jam snow layer in this valley where the two roofs meet. DH got up on the roof Saturday to shovel again, only in some spots this time because the snow was so packed down with the winds we've had he couldn't get it with the roof rake. He is not in top shape, he isn't out of shape either. He slipped on ice and started falling head first toward the parking lot pavement. He was trying to twist himself around so that when he fell he would fall on a side, arm,leg anything but his head. It happened so fast he couldn't get twisted around. So he "spread eagled" out as much as he could to try and stop himself with his hands and his feet. He stopped with his chin 4 inches over the eavetrough! Scared the beejeepers out of him and me too! It all happened in the blink of an eye there was very little time to react. When I think about how he'd have landed if he'd hit the pavement (on his head) and how he could have been hurt I get so mad at him!!!!!!!! Leave it alone, I'd rather do anything to cope with a problem then to have him permenently injuried!!! He does not need to think he is 25 years old and can do anything anymore. He is 56!!! Bottom line my opinion NOW is nobody needs to be on a roof unless you have proper shoes and a safety belt!!! I don't care how young or old you are.