Oakley, I don't think we know what we are going to want or how we are going to feel until the time gets close. My MIL got nervous when I was away. Everyone told me she would ask for me repeatedly. "When is Golddust coming home?" As her needs became greater, she appreciated a female helping her with dressing, toileting and hygiene. Her sons were clueless. They were loving, willing and wonderful - but totally clueless and uncomfortable. I didn't leave her once in her last three weeks. Her sons would do anything at all, including taking the dogs to the vet, so they didn't have to stay with her alone toward the end. Better make good friends with your DIL. I think your DS will delegate your care to her more than you know. My MIL deeply loved me and appreciated me stepping in when she needed help. She didn't think anyone would be there for her. After caring for three elders until their death, I have no fantasies about old age or the rocky path toward death. It isn't usually pretty and I watched my MILs sons look to me for their Mother's care. They even looked to me for the way they should act around her. I told my MIL that her cancer had returned in front of them. (They thought she shouldn't know, rather than tell her themselves.) They supported me to take care of her and I have a lifetime of points in reserve because of the awesome care she got. If you alienate your DIL, you will also alienate your son. He will chose her over you, as it should be. Your best hope is to make your DIL love you. She will be wiping your butt, not your son. Trust me.

Today is a new, and better day. She was in such rotten shape yesterday and is much improved today. It's soooooo hard not to be there and to leave everything to sister. Sister cares much, but doesn't have a ton of patience. I talked to Mom this morning and slowly approached the subject of where to live. She really wants to go to a care home down the street from my sister and I'm not sure how to check it out, other than a visit. (Yes, a surprise visit is a good idea.) It's a crime that these places aren't rated and I don't know whether inspections are open to the public, and how hard they are to find. Chisue, I've thought of you and your husband a lot lately. Mom was put on Wellbutrin to counteract depression the narcotics bring, and that was a pain getting there. The "fabulous" neurologist" put her on another one at first that caused severe nausea as well as.....worse rsl. Way to go, big doctor--It took me 5 minutes of surfing to find out that drug increases symptoms. The neurologist has been of little help as well. I asked ds to ask her regular physician about Abilify, but he was against it, even though I told her what you had told me--I'm afraid I've forgotten the reason. At this point, I don't think we can mess with the meds too much as we try to get her more stable. Azzalea and Jim, thanks for the suggestions. You're right, I think she will be ok in assisted living. Sister really has been such a trooper and had to deal with a whole lotta unpleasantness yesterday. I have to not let her make a snap decision, which is a little tough because she's the one who is doing all the work. We all love our mom dearly and want what's best for her, for sure. Susan, prune juice is always a good idea but didn't do the trick this time. I'll keep you posted, if anyone is interested. THANK YOU again, for all your help and suggestions.

Two, but we live in a one-story house. Our new house'll be two stories and will still have two toilets. Most people are not comfortable sharing their master toilet with guests. I know I'm not. I have no problem with adults deciding that for marriage harmony they should have an extra toilet if that's what works best for them. I know I wouldn't enjoy having to use the powder room in the middle of the night and I certainly understand not sleeping as well as before kids, and mine are out of the house and 25 and 29! LOL

At 52 in our State, with one in close proximity testing positive now. Obviously more than that. DH cannot take time off from work because he’s in charge of keeping high speed internet going in our area and the surrounding counties. So many rely on the internet at this time, not just for supplies and communication with family and friends. Our physicians’ offices, hospitals rely on it. He’s trying his best to reduce exposure, but it’s impossible with others working in close proximity and dealing with the public constantly. Me? I’m going to the grocery store one last time tomorrow, my one mask and gloves in use. Going early in hopes of avoiding as much exposure as possible. After that I’m taking advantage of curbside pickup. DH and I are in the high-risk group, for several reasons. I reached a saturation point yesterday. Over-stressed and anxious. Closed the tv room door, turned on my favorite soft guitar music while cooking a nice dinner and my overall well-being drastically improved. Next non-rainy day I’ll work in our vegetable garden, prepping it for spring planting - the onions already planted last weekend. I think it’s important to try to keep stress levels down, to both relax and be active even if self-isolating. To retain as much normalcy as possible, and to do what one can for others in need. And to take measures where able not to cause possible spread. I would say most are now taking this seriously… but we live in a tourist town, and one major draw are the shopping malls. DH said they were packed yesterday. Packed. I cannot fathom this.