Hi - no kit, have to piece it all together yourself. There is a three way diverter, volume control, theramostatic valve, tub spout, fixed shower head with plate, handheld shower, shower hose and mounting bracket for handheld. I'm not sure but I think the hose is 5 ft long and yes - they come in different lenghts - at least for grohe. If I can find it - I think I may have the invoice. I will look tonight.

I don't have a rain shower head, just a Moen Kingsley shower head with a diverter to a hand shower. I am 5'6" and my significant other is 6'3", so we are close to the heights of you and your husband. I mounted the shower head pipe at 7' to make certain my significant other would not have to stoop under the shower head. The pipe comes out of the wall at 7', but the shower head itself is a little lower (maybe 6'8"-6'10" or so). The diverter valve is right above the shower head. So you should find out where the lever is in relation to the shower head. I can reach the diverter just fine, but my arm is nearly all the way extended. If we'd gone another 6" higher, I probably wouldn't be able to reach. I would suggest you stand on the floor and raise your arm all the way up until it's as tall as you can comfortably get (to reach a lever). Then ask your husband to measure from the floor to your hand. Provide that measurement to your plumber and explain that the lever must be no higher than that. Alternatively, you could follow catbuilder's suggestion to mount the heads at different heights.

Moen is an affordable brand with a solid warranty. We bought these for our shower from Faucetdepot.com and are super happy with them; http://www.faucetdepot.com/prod/Moen-3838-Castleby-Four-Function-Showerhead-Chrome-17558.asp http://www.faucetdepot.com/prod/Moen-3838-Castleby-Four-Function-Showerhead-Chrome-17558.asp There are also some clips available that will secure the slide bar so it can be used as a grab bar. I bought them, but as it turned out, my contract secured it straight to a stud, so I ended up not needing them afterall but love the grab bar.

You're needlessly complicating a very simple project. HD probably has 30 handshowers in stock that you just screw off the old showerhead and screw on the new bracket and hose and you're done. It's less than a 5 minute job. Waterpik is always a good inexpensive brand, as are Kohler, Moen and Delta.