Alzheimer's is the cruelest thing ever...having a hard time
MonicaM43
11 years ago
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marie_ndcal
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agomaifleur01
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
January is the cruelest month
Comments (8)It's the cruelest month here too - because it won't rain. The roses I pruned a while ago are already starting to leaf out in the warm weather, and my biggest concern is to make sure the roses are well-mulched so they don't dry out immediately in this porous soil. I keep forgetting to get used coffee grounds from Starbuck's, which I hope will make the soil retain water a little longer. I feel very relieved that every rose is now planted and that I will not be buying any more. I just want to tend to what I have and am so tired of planting new bands, of which there are quite a few from this and last year. Large roses that were diseased have left and the structure of most of the garden areas is compromised rather severely. I want a mature, blooming garden this spring, but that's only going to be partially the case, and who knows what the spring flush will be like with no winter rain. The future of my garden is very uncertain, but I tend it every day as though that doesn't matter, because as long as my roses are alive I'm still hopeful. Ingrid...See MoreA hard thing
Comments (4)Carla, this is always a hard and sad task. It seems so recent that I went through this myself. My heart go's out for you. When you are there, you will pick up strength, but you will still slow down as the items you will come in contact with start flooding your memories, but you have to do that, to say your last goodbye. Your Aunt is having her daughter in law and niece, close family, do this and I am sure she would be happy knowing you are doing your best. I was an only child and dad gone a long time ago, but was in England when my mum passed away three years ago. Stayed for six weeks to sell her home and deal with all her effects. Was a very difficult time. Was awful. I did not sell anything - gave all away - and garbaged what I could not. (that was the hard part). I also shipped as much as possible back to Canada, and I am sooo glad about that.!!! My thoughts are with you and with your dear daughter re her kidney stones. Unusual, I would say for a young girl, You never did say, as far as I know, how they are going to treat this. Whatever is recommended, I am sure it will work out fine for her. My prayers and best wishes are with you over these difficult times. I would say YES!! you are ready for a whole new year of stress free, happiness and relaxation. YOU GO GIRL!!! Roll on 2008. Love Pauline...See MoreMy mom got Alzheimer's during aunt's end of life care?
Comments (15)Thank you everyone! I just know I’m going to get bombarded at different points of time while up there, most likely by my aunt and my sisters husband. They will feel I need to be told what my responsibilities are and will be doing so to protect my younger sister who they think cannot handle it. I told everyone long ago that as I lost my childhood I had no plans on losing my older age years as well. My Aunt who just passed knew this and coaxed mom into setting herself up in an environment that has assisted living. I contacted several facilities and had literature sent to her as well as info on all senior amenities in her area. Mom was under the notion that it was all her idea, picked her place to live and she uses most of the local senior services. Of course I will do my share but had to say those things to get the ball rolling while mom had all her wits. I do love my mom but do have to limit the responsibilities to somewhat shared responsibilities with my sister as I live five states away. I have decided not to have any conversations with others regarding mom (except with sister) while up there. My response will simply be “its Karen time” as in, my aunts’ funeral time. And, instead of getting myself worked up over likely “mom” topics from family members I’m going to think of Annie’s words and let it rooolll off me lol. Thanks for that Annie; I’m already putting that great advice into action. This morning I was getting worked up again and visually pictured myself awash with comforting warmth starting at the top of my head and moving down over my body taking all negativity away. Mattie, I have no idea how you have cared for two elderly persons with Alzheimer’s/dementia. My potential problems are nothing compared to what you do on a daily basis. I do not have it in me to be a caregiver for elderly. It’s a selfish thing to admit but true. You are a special person! Kellielog, I know you get what I’m talking about. I had an alcoholic parent and a mentally unstable parent. I’m not sure but do I remember that your dad was both? I know I always felt like the real parent as young as age five or maybe even earlier. It’s not something you ever get over. It’s something that takes over against your will. Being that I’m a very strong willed person it still catches me by surprise. To all, your kind words really have helped right now and I mean that....See MoreQuestion about Alzheimer’s
Comments (26)Chisue, you raise some very good questions. In my 40+ years of hospital nursing, I have seen heartbreaking instances of people with advanced dementia being forced to undergo life extending procedures -- such as open heart surgery! -- because their family members felt that it was the right thing to do. But, they fail to see the terror, the pain, the combativeness, the inability to leave drains and IVs and wounds alone, the patient sometimes injuring themselves or a staff member, and so on, because he/she is unable to comprehend what is being done to them or why, and unable to feel safe in such a foreign environment. Then those family members come in and demand that the patient not be receiving sedation or pain medication because it leaves them drowsy when the family wants to interact with them. And, those families often have failed to understand that Alzheimer's, for one, is itself a fatal disease. One of the ways that medicine has changed in the past 40 years is the way that we respond to fatal illness -- back then, we wouldn't put terminally ill or advanced dementia patients on life support, or ask families if they wanted us to "do everything, including CPR", when we knew that would be futile or merely extending their dying process. We just didn't (and I think society in general didn't) consider it a reasonable option: Now, we are obligated to do just that. I made the decision on the behalf of both of my parents -- who each had dementia of different types, my mother from repeated cerebellar strokes, my father from microvascular ischemia -- that they would receive comfort care only in the event of a major illness. Therefore, any treatment would be solely for the sake of relieving pain, shortness of breath, and so forth; not to extend life just for the sake of extending life. I feel strongly that we need to respect the gift of life, however we are designed to have our lives end and we need to respect that and recognize that death is sometimes a gift also....See MoreMonicaM43
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMonicaM43
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