My husband who had AZ had a brain scan and the result was part of his brain had atrophied. It could never get better, that part of his brain was dead. Nothing helps Alzheimer patients. The meds they give them are all experimental, never been proven to help.

What a tough day, you are a hero, you know. And a good vent can be very satisfying. What about putting her in an Adult Day Care program every day. They are very good, it will give her a chance to get out of the house and do things, and give you the break you need. They are well worth it. Your mother sounds bored - she's needs to "keep busy" and she finds whatever catches her eye, and does it, even if it makes no sense to you. Of course she doesn't want to go to a nursing home, not too many of us wake up and decide today is the day to move to a nursing home. But it looks like it's time to get her out of your home. It's not doing your or your granddaughter any good having her there with this much chaos and anger and frustration. The tables have turned, now you and your husband have to make that decision, and see that it gets done. But..... once there, she'll be fine, she'll be happier there than at home with you. Good nursing homes have lots of activities and lots of supervision, and good care. And your weekly visits with her will be a treat, not an ordeal. Medicare won't pay for a nursing home unless she needs it for sub-acute rehab - and then only for a short time. If she has no money, Medicaid will pay for her care. If she has money, that would go toward nursing home expenses, she must get some money every month - Social Security/pension, etc. Why do you think you have to pay the entire cost? Your energy should go towards taking care of yourself, your husband and your dear granddaughter - his mother should not be at the top of the list. You know you are not going to hurt her, or your grandchild. That leaves you, and your marriage. And if your husband leaves, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he'll leave his mom with you. LOL You are doing an amazing job, and have every right to be angry with her, even if she doesn't know what she did. It's still a waste of your time, money and the food you prepared. My mother had Alzheimers, for 15 years, and my dad took care of her for most of that time, and she became very difficult. After 10 years, we sat down with dad and said that it was time to move to a retirement community, he fought us for almost a year. After they moved, he loved it, said it was the best thing he ever did. After a few years, we insisted mom go to adult day care, and he fought that, but she loved it, and he could finally do some things for himself. The next year it was clear that it was time for her to move to the nursing home in their retirement community. She had become violent and was hitting him, and didn't sleep at night. She got out of their apartment a few times, even with an alarm. Even so, he fought that too, but the move went well, she was much happier and so was he. She died 9 months later. My dad lived for 6 more years. For 4 1/2 years, he remained in his own apartment, with some help after he had a stroke. Eventually he moved to the assisted living facility, and 3 months later, to the nursing home in the retirement community. He died there a year later. Both of my parents had excellent care, they loved the staff, and we were confident we'd made the right decisions. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, and hug that wonderful granddaughter and dear husband.

Thank you all so much for your input and support. The two biggest issues we are now addressing are those posed by some of you: Guardianship and Finances. As with any family and situation like this, you can imagine that there is much more going on than what I am able to express here. Families are complicated and this family IS complicated. The facility that she is in now has finally come to acknowledge that they can not just release her - they have said she is unable to make decisions regarding her medical care. Now we need to get two doctors to sign off that she is incompetent before proceeding with the guardianship. Determining who will be the guardian is quite tricky at this point because she is involved in a few legal issues that play into the short and long term affect of the decision. That will be hashed out hopefully in the next few days. If she is deemed incompetent the question arises as to whether she can proceed forward in her legal battles - most, probably initiated by her severe lack of decision making abilities which is a symptom of the disease - and whether it is in her best interest to do so. She is the one who initiated some of the legal issues. Others are the result of her behavior and forgetfulness. Like I said...it's complicated. Once some of these legal issues and guardianship is determined, than we can get more of the financial picture in focus. Thank you Graywings for linking the government retirement and the federal disability links. We believe she is under the older system; but as you said it needs to be confirmed as she did have the ability to switch over to the newer one at some point. We are learning more about her diagnosis which was originally known as Pick's disease. The symptoms fall into two patterns and her's is in the behavioral pattern which shows as impulsive, inappropriate social behavior, lack of social tact, loss of insight into their own behavior or others, repetitive or compulsive behavior to name a few. The other pattern type involves the language skills in understanding speech and such - she is not so much affected by this pattern. It is believed that the disease starts in the 30's and 40's which makes us now think that what we thought was a possible personality disorder had actually been early signs of this Alzheimer's. There has been a history of unusual behavior (as observed by outsiders but denied in general by most of the immediate family). She has definitely been told repeatedly by numerous people that she has Alzheimer's disease but is not able to make the connection as to the consequences. She will insist that the doctors are crazy and argue about every little thing, whether it pertains to the discussion or not. And then she will quite nonchalantly say "I have Alzheimer's, what's the big deal let me out and go back to work". Hopefully when they find the correct level of medication for her, she will be able to voice her desires. We feel strongly that her young teen son have access to her if he desires as the past few years have been turbulent for all concerned. Thank you again for all your info, recommendations on facilities, and especially the support. I will keep you posted. It will not be an easy road but I will look at this as a growth experience. The thing that has hit home hard is, without parents around any longer - WE are the adults we used to turn to for advice! With much appreciation, Chris

If all he does is repeat stories over and over, that is probably a sign that he doesn't have any thing else to think about. It MIGHT be the start of Alzheimers, but it might be something else. Is he living alone? Does he eat a good balanced diet? It could be a vitamine deficency of some sort. Perhaps you could gently inquire as to whether or not he has been to a doctor lately for a full check up. At this point, that's about all you can do. Merely repeating stories isn't enough. There would also be a problem with short term memory and confusion about location, people, etc.