Wii would be great idea. She could probably do it sitting down since her balance is bad, but the price, right now is prohibitive.

Maybe we can try to save up for one.

Thanks

Just a thought. Have you looked into those adjustable roll around tables that are used for laptop computers? The height of the table can be adjusted and so can the angle or tilt of the table top. Perhaps one could be adjusted in such a way as to alleviate some of the neck/back/leaning forward strain. I bought one for my mother and she used it for a while; she had the same difficulties you're describing. You can find them in most office supply stores. Here's just one example:

Here is a link that might be useful: Laptop/Reading Table

The other wacky idea that just came to me is a pet.
I'm certain that my mom keeps going because she feels that she's the only one that can properly care for our pets (re: spoil our pets) and has really taken to the guinea pigs, which are surprisingly friendly, tame, and pettable little critters. Sort of along the lines of therapy dogs and such - maybe a cat would give her someone else to "talk" to and pet. Just another thought....

I think a cat would be best. Guinea Pigs don't make good pets for holding because their ribs are so fragile. I read that is the main cause of their deaths. As far as things to do you have to be careful about making them feel dumb. My husband and i played cards everyday before he was diagnossed with AZ. He couldn't do the card count and got mad at himself for being dumb, it really depressed him. You cannot bring back memory loss.

A pet would be nice, but I am very allergic to most animals, cats especially. DH is not an animal lover anyway, but hopefully it might be a nice idea for someone else who is reading.

I am really trying to find some fun "occupational therapy" type things for her to do.

I am definitely trying to stay away from things that show her lack of cognition.

shambo,
I looked at tables that tilt and while she has been doing some puzzles on her table, I simply put 2 phone books under the legs to tilt it at a better angle. Thanks for the idea. We'll see if it helps before we invest in a new table.

Keep the ideas coming.

Thanks, Terri

Would Scrabble be a possibility? My 87 year old mom lives with me and we play a game just about every evening...keeps the mind working and she has to manipulate the tiles (with a little help sometimes!) We make up our own "rule"...take 8 tiles instead of 7, that makes the game go faster so she's not sitting quite so long at one time...

Do you have old family pictures? I think it's sad that we have them and know they're relatives but nothing is written on the back of the pics. Perhaps it could be her "project" to write the names on the back of the pics using her table.
Then what about a recorder to tell family history and some things that happened. I love the stories of when my dad was growing up and have told my girls. It's special.
A lot of the time the short term memory gets bad but they can talk about years ago as if it were right now.
Just a thought, put it all together in a memory book and let her help.
Lynn

Does she enjoy drawing? While it sounds childish, a woman my mother knew, used to love to color pictures. She had some childrens coloring books but it was of things that interested her like flowers, animals. She preferred colored pencils to use. The woman was of sound mind but she said she enjoyed the color and the results of her work. She gave the pictures to her grandchildren and other friends. Mom has one on her wall.
Could she string beads?
Maybe just a stroll through a craft store might give you ideas along with a walk through the toy section.

I do think Wii is a great idea. No age limit on that fun.
We had a bowling tournament at Thanksgiving and the ages were 3-84.

Thanks for the ideas! The picture labeling idea is good because we have tons of them. It would help to know who the people are and what they occasion was. I will ask for stories that go with the pictures and record them. Good idea,pfllh.

I think the idea of walking through a craft store with her is a good starting point. I can get her feedback on what she would enjoy.

I had gotten her some children's puzzles at the resale shop last month. They have 63 or 100 pieces and are much easier for her to do. They can also be done in a shorter time and put away. That way she doesn't sit so long, but still is able to enjoy an activity she did when she was younger. I also prop the legs of her table up to set it on an incline so she doesn't have to lean so far. (Thanks for the idea, shambo)

I found some games up in the attic like Password and Rubic's Race. I will look for our scrabble game too. She is not as good with words, but it will challenge her brain and maybe lead to some good memories with the words that come up. I used to have beads that little kids string, but I am not sure if I still have them. I think I need to think "second childhood" for activities and go back to her first for memories.

These are great ideas. I am still ready for more.

Thanks everyone...have a great day...I am thinking about you all.

Terri

Good evening! I love the idea that you are working to keep Mom contented and busy! I have also known several seniors who enjoyed coloring, which is good for their dexterity, too. My Father, who lived with me until he passed away, loved to have me feed birds outside the kitchen. He could watch them from the windows. He read all the bird books that go along with that. He often had ideas on where I should hang feeders, and we found a solar powered fountain that attracted them.

This topic really interests me since my 84 year old MIL came to live with us this past September. Her days are spent watching TV, which is fine with me as long as it's what she enjoys, but I think I see her mind & body going downhill more now. Unfortunately, she also has macular dengeneration, so her eyesight really limits what activities she can do. She's been fascinated with all my pets, so dh and I thought it would be great to get her a small lap dog, like she used to have & now misses terribly. So we adopted one from the HS and wouldn't you know it, the dog is completely devoted to me, and won't really give her the time of day. I tried everything I could think of to entice the dog to make her acquaintence, but nothing doing. So I now have a new pet of my own, and still searching for something to fill MIL's days besides TV. Her past hobbies were reading, cooking, and bowling, none of which she can do now. It's really heartbreaking. So I will be watching this thread for ideas. It's wonderful that this forum exists, and that people are so helpful.

Re: coloring books. If you think this might interest her, check out an art supply store. Our tiny local one has books to color or paint, some of which I wouldn't mind having myself. And they have colored pencils, too, in all price ranges.

I thought I've give you an update on what else I've come up with and how the ideas are working.

Mom enjoys doing the 63-100 piece kids puzzles. She struggled a bit at first, but is having the "how to" come back as she does more. I limit how long she can work on the puzzle so it does not bother her neck as much. Tilting the table up slightly does help.

We we at the store the other day and walked through the toy section. I was glad she reacted well to the idea and was not put off by it being things for kids. I was looking for things she might enjoy doing and that had dexterity and cognitive benefits. She chose a flat screen Light Brite. (Of course all the traditional toys my kids had have been updated, just like the TVs, in this case!) The flat screen works well because she can put it on her lap with a small pillow or sometimes a towel folded to hold it just right. The challenge is getting her somewhat arthritic fingers to work. It is good for her to use them, so I am sure it will get easier as she does more. The patterned sheets she can follow make her think about which color the lettered pattern calls for, but the plain sheets give her a chance to make decisions and be creative. I did have to separate the colors out in a 6 hole cupcake pan because the yellow and green are very similar, as are the pink and orange. She seems to enjoy it.

We also bought a coloring book that also had puzzles and crosswords and such in it. We bought colored pencils because I thought she could use them easier and less messily than crayons. It bought less expensive ones since I didn't know how much time she would spend coloring. It turns out she loves it...thanks to those who suggested it...but she isn't as fond of the pencils because thet have a harder lead and she has to press harder. I also bought her a pack of 49 crayons since a friend who visited was the one who told me she didn't like the pencils completely (I wish SHE would speak up!). She was like a kid at the beginning of the school year with her big box of crayons. So many new colors to choose from to make her mind work and make decisions.

She does do the memory match card game from time to time. It was hard to see her struggle with it at first. She had trouble learning how to do it and still forgets.

We plan to get the photos out next week. It has been a busy week or so and I haven't had time to get them out.

And now OT...

Her mind is still failing and she is more tired. I used to be able to take her grocery shopping with me, but now I have to do it in the evening after DH comes home from work. It is harder for her to walk to the bathroom so she tends to use her bed side commode more, which gives her less exercise and will complete the weakness cycle.

As she mind gets worse, I hate to admit it, but at times I almost avoid spending as much time with her because of the things she says. I know that it will get worse if I don't spend enough time with her, so I pray for the grace needed to do what she needs. I think I am reacting to the failure of her mind and I am tired. It's not the Mom I remember and it hurts. Did/do any of you feel this way? It is usually short-lived but I don't like reacting negatively to her. I want her to feel loved in the last season of her life.

Thanks for helping and listening...
Terri

Terri, I can sympathize with your feelings. My mom lives in an AL, in the memory care unit now. But I can definitely identify with what you said about almost wanting to avoid spending time with your mom. That's how I've felt many times too.

I think it's because conversations become such a labor. Trying to think of something to say that my mom will understand and be able to respond to. Trying not to bring up subjects that could be stressful or frightening. So there's no discussing current events or the news -- those topics are simply too frightening to the confused mind. In my case, not talking too much about outside activities because I don't want my mother asking to go home with me. There's no more talking about relatives or friends because she doesn't remember them anymore. Nor does she remember much of her past life, so recalling memories is pretty useless.

So we talk endlessly about the weather and the seasons. I bring her magazines with big pictures and we'll talk about the pictures. It's hard work coming up with a fresh take on an old, tired subject.

And, yes, it hurts. She's not the mom I remember either. It's sad to see her hugging a stuffed animal and kissing it and talking to it like it was her baby. I hate seeing her in that state. But it is what it is. I can't change the situation.

So I bring her cookies and we talk about the cookies while she munches on them. As I said before, I bring her magazines. Every time I see her, I bring her some little something that makes her feel special. And I joke around with her, stupid jokes that a four year old might laugh at. When she's had her hair done, I tell her that she looks like a fluffy French poodle. That always gets a laugh. Before I leave, I kiss her and always tell her to behave herself and keep herself out of trouble. She thinks that's pretty funny too.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure your mom knows she's loved. All your care with games & activities is not lost on her. She knows you are there taking good care of her. Even if she gets more & more confused, she'll always know that there's some really nice person who keeps helping her. She'll always know she's surrounded by love.

Shambo,

How kind to share your thoughts and struggles with your Mom. You seem very wise and caring and I believe your mom knows that someone special loves her too. I really appreciate your encouragement.

Mom is still "with it" in many ways and I don't have the challenges you have. I guess with being on call 24/7 has me tired, and less able to react as I ought all the time. When I "blow it" I ask for her forgiveness and pray to do better.

I think that trying to find activities to do with her will help me stay focused on her well-being and enjoyment of life. I think I will start reading easy-to-follow books to her again. We did that after she was in the hospital for CHF 5 years ago.

You mentioned cookies. Mom does like to bake and at Christmastime she helped me, as she was able, sitting at the kitchen table. Maybe I need to make another batch of cookies with her "helping" me. I do have her peel potatoes or carrots, and she folds the socks and towels for me.

I will continue to focus on the positive...she is mostly cheerful and agreeable and tries her best to make things easier for me. But as she becomes weaker, the physical strain is more difficult. I an a tad under five feet tall and Mom has about 25-30 pounds on me. When she loses her balance, which is one of her main health issues along with lack of strength, it is getting harder for me to physically handle her. That in turn makes it difficult to do as many things with her to keep her strong. I am hoping we don't have to switch her from her walker to her transport chair in the house.

I will keep in mind all of the challenges that you and others have and how you handle them... and that helps me put our situation in perspective. It is for a season of life that can change rapidly. With God's help, we will do what we can to show her the love we share.

Thanks again...Blessings,
Terri

Is there a adult day care in your area your mom could visit maybe once a week for a few hours? Are you active in any organization/church where someone even kids could visit occasionaly? Just to talk about the old days? Remise magazine from Reman magazines is good for someone to share with her. How about wasable felt color pens to use? Check the dollar store, children's area in drug stores, craft stores and even thrift shops.

I bought a nice tape recorder for my mom and bought her bible tapes and she follows along in her bible why the person reads. I got a tape recorder rather than a disc player because I figured she could take it and tape the preacher at church if she wanted or if she could not be there it could be taped for her. Also there are so many different tapes you can purchase and they seem much cheaper than the disc's. I got my bible tapes and alot of other tapes for her from www.christianbooks.com they have a bargain section where you can get things up to 90% off, and often times you can preview what your buying from them so it is really nice. Just watch and make sure you buy a nice tape recorder for sound quality...i did a review check online and decided on the one i would purchase.

I know coloring books have been discussed, but I just wanted everyone to know the variety that is available.
If you search Amazon they have quite intricate "coloring books" for adults with topics as diverse as human and animal anatomy, botanicals, Old Masters paintings, architecture, tapestries- it's really amazing.

There are sites online that have jigsaw puzzles. AARP has one. You have a choice of different number of pieces, and they also allow you to do the perimeter pieces first, then add the inside pieces. Jigzone also has a daily puzzle. You can do the puzzle in many different cuts and number of pieces -- from 6 to over 200. I do one everyday. When I visit my grandsons, I do them every morning with them. They love it.

Can you try to get any family history out of her? I wish that we had done more with my aunts, uncles, mom and dad.

How about getting old tv shows on dvd for her to watch? She might enjoy Jack Benny, or others. I think that there are old radio shows available on tape, too.

There are a lot of things you can do. Music is good. Cards. Does she have a computer? Books on tape. Does she have a pet? Plants are good too. What about a class? There are a lot of instruction classes on PBS and TLC.

Here is a link that might be useful: Activities Director Jobs

look into www.eNasco.com/senioractivities. Its a magizine for the elderly gives you a lot of ideas

: reminiscing.music(soft)old movies passive rage of motion with soft music,puzzle,have a book with friends names,to call them,crochet or kneeting,painting if she likes to paint,gardening if she likes plantsart and craft if she likes,most important thing is to keep her busy,coloring wriete post cards to her friends or letter short or long letters,go through food cupons or stores cupons.I used to work as a director activity aide for the sick and mental groups,I hope that these activities they can be helpful

I am going to make a message board for my dad. With a brief salutation, the day and date and a favorite scripture. I am. In the home daily and will keep it up to date. This is a journey!

I know this is an older topic but still a good one. I must object to getting a homebound person in the last stages of their lives a pet. If you have a pet that you can share or if you will provide for the pet in your own home that is good. What I object to is people getting a pet for an older person and then when they pass away or have to go to a home the pet goes to a shelter. Older pets are seldom adopted and the trauma they endure before they are killed is not something that should happen.

Thank you, maifleur. Exactly what I was thinking.

I worked in a senior center for 25 years and my advice was always learn to use a computer because some day one would be reduced to sitting in a chair and it would help keep your mind sharp and you could keep in touch with others on forums, Facebook or Skype with distant family members.

However, I have found an iPad to be the easiest to use for an older person.

In addition, for sitting in a chair or lounging in bed, I had a table similar to the picture in the link and loved it:

[Rolling Computer Table[(https://www.houzz.com/products/techni-mobili-rolling-adjustable-laptop-cart-graphite-prvw-vr~81411996)

I had to chuckle at the table. Although it was reversed with the typewriter sitting on the flat portion and the slanted area holding the documents to be entered/copied into another document. This was similar to the tables used in typing class when I was in high school in the 1960's. I do agree that it would be very useful both sitting in a chair and in the bed. I kept a wooden slanted typist tray until I retired because it was easier for me to type from than my flat desk. Things do return. They would not let me take it or I would still have it.

Actually, after looking at the picture, I also think the top should be reversed. I had the tiny slanted portion on the right-hand side as I have always used a mouse instead of the touchpad on my laptop. However, I loved lounging in bed with my computer and having it adjusted to the right height so I didn't have to constantly look downward.

My elderly mum, aged 90, is fairly housebound - and has been getting less interested in everything except lying in bed and TV. Two things,recently though, have given her joy. The first - a budgie I bought her in a nice big cage. It's a little turquoise female one that sings away, and plays all day with the toys in the cage, and she absolutely loves it! And it's something new to talk about on the phone. (And no worries if she dies and the bird is left alone - because I'd happily have it - and there are loads of people who'd love to take on a nice budgie in a lovely cage.) The other thing is getting her to remember bits of old songs she used to know - war songs, folk songs etc, then I look them up on you tube and we get the lyrics and listen to it, then later we sing them. This really brings her alive.

Both sound like simple fun to me. She's lucky to have you caring for her.

I replied in an earlier thread, but after hearing all your replies I was able to relate because not only did I experience firsthand your problems, but also caregivers constantly visited my senior center office looking for advice and services.
So here we go:
1. The most difficult time in your life is the transition from being a child to becoming the parent. It's very difficult and heartbreaking.
2. As people get older they become less interested in activities they once enjoyed because they're just plain tired.

3. As memory fades, they'll talk about the past. Don't fight it. My brother had Alzheimer's, and every time we visited he told us he had just come back from cutting firewood in the woods. Rather than correct him, we continued his conversation about this and he was quite pleased.
4. Get a recorder, as mentioned above, and get as much family history as you can while the person still recalls more vividly past events.
5. Be more accepting of their declining limits. If they just want to sit there and watch TV, let them.
6. Try some simple chair exercises. One that helps keep legs strong is quite simple. Just sit in a chair and lift each leg. This builds the upper front thigh muscle and is one of the first exercises they have you do in physical therapy after a lengthy bedridden stay in a hospital. Also, most senior centers office similar programs just to keep people moving.
7. Be nice to yourself. Take a break. Hire an older person who could more easily relate and also "babysit" for you so you can go out and have a few hours to yourself. If you don't, you will come to resent your caregiving. Also, there are people who would be willing to stay overnight to give you an entire weekend of freedom. Do it! And lastly, don't feel guilty if you're nice to yourself or occasionally lose patience. You're only human.
8. Consider a day or two per week in an Adult Day Care program. Simply being among their peers can do wonders. I've seem an amazing difference in seniors who have participated in this. However, you may have to bring the person screaming and hollering at first, but very quickly they will begin to enjoy themselves.
9. My last suggestion comes from a study I read years ago. Nursing home residents were asked what they would like to do. While activities directors thought they wanted loads of activities, when asked, the residents replied they really wanted to get out of the home for a few hours and take a short ride. We once had a program at our senior center where a local restaurant that offered a soup and sandwich type of lunch donated a number of gift certificates. We would choose an elder along with a volunteer, and they would go out to lunch. Most people really enjoyed this. However, you must keep the outing to no more than a few hours due to fatigue.
   Hope some of this helps, for I've been there, done that; and I have a special spot in my heart for the caregivers who look after others. It isn't easy.

All of your ideas are wonderful. I take care of my grandmother 4 or 5 days a week. I spend the night with her 3 or 4 of those days. Recently she lost her husband, my papa, of 72 years. He was what kept her mind sharp and busy, lol, even though she couldn't physically do much. He had asthma, COPD, CHF, early stage esophagus cancer and diabetes. She is 90 years old and has bladder issues which seems to make her want to be at home. She has back problems and cant stand long even with her walker. I go into the attic alot and pull out old things that I know will pique her interest but I'm running outta stuff to pull out. She's very prim and proper and I'm really torn as to what she might see as childish or silly. Not that she would be mean about it but I don't want her to feel like she's being looked at as a child. I have sooooo been thinking about bringing my Wii over here but I really need advice on how to introduce new things to her without making it awkward for either of us lol. She used to knit, crochet and sew but her hands just don't work like they used to. She was a FABULOUS cook and loved doing it, so when I cook for her I always ask her how she made something and let her walk me through the steps. But there's only so many things I can ask her how to cook. Oh and we did do Ancestry....now that was FUN for both of us. She has tons of pictures.... with names already written on them. (That was an idea I had and was grateful and disappointed to see she had identified every photo yearrrrs ago.) So basically I want to keep my Mimi active so that she doesn't deteriorate mentally. I know allll the stories of all the antiques and depression glass in the house but I sincerely enjoy hearing them but her memory is still sharp so I can' be repetitive. One idea I did have is to ask her if she would like to type a paper/book of her family story. From birth until today....if anyone has anymore ideas or how I can introduce new things to her PLEASE reply or comment

Thank you

Instead of the Wii I would look at getting her a light weight tablet with a cover that allows it to either sit up on a table or make it easy to hold. That way she’d have access to a variety of apps for adult coloring, jigsaw puzzles, cross words, games and so on. All of the apps I have found are easy to use and user friendly for someone with athritus, especially Recolor and Jigsaw box. She’d also have access to the internet where she can read on the Kindle ap or participate in a variety of social networks for seniors.

A toy store or teachers' supply store should have magnetic boards that could be fun. Magnetic alphabets (on your refrigerator or a board) can be used to post menus, messages, anything amusing. I think there may also be magnetic puzzles. These would avoid the bent neck..