Hi, Rita wrote: "BTW, when you choose to use the Firefox add on that allows it to work like Internet Explorer you are actually using Internet Explorer." I'm no expert here, but I *think* you may be speaking of the WindowsUpdate extension (https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/195) rather than the extension I mentioned that links to the WindizUpdate site. In fact, the Windiz site's "Why Use W.U. ?" link at the right of its homepage (http://www.windizupdate.com/) notes sarcastically in the list of advantages of using the product: "No more unwanted spyware -- Microsoft Internet Explorer can finally be removed from your computer (if that were possible)." So, the WindizUpdate extension apparently is 'free' of all dependence on IE. And as I noted previously, for me, WindizUpdate is very fast. When I would go to the MS site and manually scan the computer for updates, it would take 10-15 minutes for IE to complete that task alone !! Windiz takes less than a minute !! :-) I don't know if that would be the case if I were still really using IE for the (manual) update I do when I use FF and Windiz. Scott My apologies, Rita, if I have misunderstood and you weren't commenting on the Windiz extension at all, but were *intending* to address the 'embedded IE' type of extensions for FF !

Timely post as this is what I've been doing this afternoon. I do not "love" gardening although I mostly enjoy it. I do find it is a creative outlet. I love doing container gardens and that is one thing I did today - at least out front. Still have plenty more to do on the patio area out back. I absolutely love spending time outdoors and love flowers and plants. I cannot imagine NOT having flowers/landscaping, etc. and I must also have houseplants. Bought a new one today LOL. Also visited our most favorite local nursery over the weekend. My mom's dad raised iris for much of his adult life. People came every year to see his gardens and buy his iris. After his death, I found one of his little notebooks with notations about where iris were in the gardens, what new varieties he had "bred", etc. My mom inherited that love and had roses for years. I guess I come by it natural. Last year we broke down and had our front professionally landscaped. After much trial and error and $$$, we just couldn't get it right. We've done the rest ourselves and it's fairly low maintenance. We don't plant any annuals, have tons of periennels, and there are things blooming early spring through very late fall. I'm not one who wants to be in the gardens/flowers all day long. As for veggie gardens, with our lifestyle, we just don't have the time to devote to much of that. We always do cukes and tomatoes (got tomatoes this weekend too!) and a few peppers, etc. Our camping and traveling time makes veggie gardening hard too. tina

It would seem I'm a bit younger than most here. I'm 30, grew up in a home with one sister, and parents that were relatively frugal. My father was the more frugal one, avoiding debt, not wanting to spend money on anything he didn't need. He didn't have much of a reason, just that debt was a bad thing to have, for several reasons. We never went without, though, taking family trips each year to various places around the country. We always had good food, nice home and vehicles, etc. I started a summer job when I was 14, then an afterschool / full time job through high school and college. I started with my current employer 10 years ago, making less than the rest of my peers. Living on my own, and making more than I ever had before, I thought it would be wise to start furnishing my apartment and buy a brand new car, despite having a perfectly good vehicle already. This new car wasn't designed for Colorado winters, so I kept the other car as well as the new one. Along with that brand new car, I got brand new insurance, which was quite a bit. This all stretched me pretty thin, living paycheck to paycheck. At one point, my company was going through layoffs, and I was concerned that I would be one of those laid off. I was pretty worried about how I was going to pay my bills, and whether or not I was going to lose my vehicle and whatnot. My father payed off my car for me, and even though I didn't get laid off, I continued to pay him what the loan payments would have been. Bonuses and other extra payments went to pay off the car a couple of years earlier than I was scheduled. This opened my eyes to what could happen if I "lived the American way", and bought whatever I wanted, at whatever price I wanted. At some point, I could be in this situation again, and I don't want to have to worry if something should happen to my income. I paid off all of my debt, and then started finding ways to live more frugally. I started shopping around for the best deals, taking things that others didn't want anymore, and didn't buy things I didn't need. When I wanted something, I usually waited at least a week, at which time I rarely wanted whatever it was in the first place. I was able to direct deposit money into two accounts, so I gave myself an allowance each paycheck, with the rest going to a savings account. The allowance was enough to cover all bills, and still have some left over for entertainment. I also started contributing to a 401k, and each pay raise translated to an increase in the percent going to the 401k. After a few years, my winter car died on me, so I found another winter vehicle for around $1000 to get me around. I did this a couple of times over the next 5 years. All the while, I was still finding ways to lower my outgoing expenses. After those 5 years, I had enough to put down 20% on a house. I found one that had a low mortgage, even though I could qualify for much more. I readjusted my allowance, and continued finding ways to lower expenses in my house. My father never did much in the way of home or auto work himself. He always paid someone else to, so I don't have much knowledge in that regard. That hasn't stopped me from using the internet and friends to figure out how to do things myself, which has saved me countless dollars. I finally paid cash for a good all-use pickup, so I won't have to worry about vehicles for quite a while. All through this, I've continued to build my savings and emergency fund. Once the economy went down the crapper, nothing really changed for me. I still lived my life how I had before, quite comfortably. All of my friends, who have continued to make more than me, are struggling to pay their bills. Throughout the years, they gave me crap for being cheap, yet look at us now. I have no stress, as far as money is concerned. I have over 9 months of living expenses in a true emergency account, am funding a 401k and Roth IRA, and managed to save enough for my honeymoon cruise to Antarctica next year. If something were to happen, my fiancee and I would be in a decent position to handle what occurs. We have everything we want, and need, and are able to do basically what we want. If I screw up my timecard, and don't get paid, I don't have to worry about waiting an extra week for my money. If something breaks in my house, I know I can take care of the problem, one way or the other. Once we have children, I know we will be able to meet their needs, at least financially. Once we retire, hopefully we will be comfortable at that point, too. Ultimately, what I am getting out of being frugal is peace of mind, with regards to money. It's also nice to see just how far I can stretch something, how many different incarnations an item can turn into before it is truly unusable.

Hi Dotz. I don't know how to answer you. Relationships are complicated enough when I'm one of the two in the relationship (parent/child, spouse/spouse, child/parent, etc.) but being on the "outside" as a SM with biodad/child on one side, and Sdad/child on another side... I just can't hope to ever understand those relationships completely, let alone what may have happened between your dh's kid and him to make their relationship less than ideal. People take out their anger on those they think will still love them despite the issues. Hopefully your skid will realize that dad means more than money and they can have a relationship beyond that later. I think, in my situation, where bio-mom keeps sd from us (by not contacting, etc), we will probably have a tough row to hoe coming up here soon as she becomes a teenager with angst. But, if her parents didn't have issues, the issues with her would be lessened. It's due to the parents setting up expectations that makes the kids resentful. My SD expects to be driven around in posh cars and going to outrageously expensive schools and if her dad doesn't contribute to the lifestyle BM has set up she is resentful. We prefer to place value on good manners, wholesome activities, enjoying being a kid instead of designer outfits for 9 year olds...Oh well... we simply don't have the same values. Having to straddle both value systems is difficult for children. And, outsiders, without all the little cobwebs floating around of past conversations/hurts/angers, can see any situation a lot clearer than the participants. As Sm's, we will never fully understand the nuances. Sooooo... my response Dotz, is just be as supportive of your DH as you can while he goes through this stage with his son. In my experience, my Ex and I have issues my DH could never understand, and my DH loves me, so automatically my Ex is the bad guy... and he hates his Ex, but I do my damnedest not to internalize that. I channel Switzerland. I attempt neutrality. I try to look at all sides, and I try to do it with love. It's far too complicated to figure out their issues. So I'm a cheerleader. Go (broken and taped back together) family of mine!!! win win win!