Gosh, I don't know WHAT happened, but I lost my cool-calm-and-collected mindset overnight somehow, and missed my son so much today that I was on the verge of tears many times. Didn't say a word to anyone, so DH, DD and her friend who is with us for a few weeks were not really privvy to my feelings, also because we were all kind of in and out all day anyway. And then lo and behold, after dinner, my daughter excused herself to go get something 'she had made' to show me. Ten minutes later, I hear my son's voice calling me! Forgetting all logic, I responded, "Ohmygosh! Where are you? Where are you?" She had SKYPED him on the laptop, and then positioned the laptop to just outside the kitchen door. We had the most wonderful chat with him. It was so much more than great to SEE him! Poor guy got to see the remnants of our dinner, which included a particularly lovely looking pasta dish with fresh spinach, goat cheese, etc., and a mixed berry pie. Almost wistfully he said, "Aww, that looks so good..." DH and I both agreed he seems to have suddenly matured overnight... going to bed with a happy heart tonight.... both because I got to see my son and because DD and her friend surprised me in this wonderful way...

Ohh, same boat as you, only last year. What a tough time being a parent, no? Finally resigned myself (with a little support from DH), that if I/we didn't hear from DD, it was a probably a good thing. DD was busy, had work to do, making new friends, adjusting to living with 2 roommates (DD is an only child), and everything else that comes with going away to college. Also, the college DD attends, requires all incoming freshmen to do a First Year Seminar which pairs the freshman with mentors in groups. The upperclassmen (mentors) do things like meet informally on a weekly basis to answer questions about adjustment to college life, have bi-weekly dinners with the peer group, make a point of checking in on a student who seems may be having trouble, etc. Also, a mandatory first semester class was FYS, which was all about adjusting to college life. That class is held by the professor assigned for each major. DD went in undeclared and stayed with her FYS advisor through her entire freshman year. DD's professor/advisor had his entire group of freshman and peer mentors come to dinner at his home ~ a farm he shares with his wife. Nice BBQ, bonfire, music, get to know you, casual social thing. So nice of him to do so. DD declared a major at the end of her Spring semester. Now has a different advisor. DH & I were very glad the school mandated this FYS, as we feel it was sooo important that there was some support provided to every freshman as they moved to a new chapter in life. A safety net, if you will Had we heard from DD everyday, it would have been an indicator that she wasn't acclimating, or at least not trying to do so, if DD was still so "wired" to me/us. Would say I got a few texts, not many. Calls, less than texts. First time home was only 2 weeks into the Fall semester. DD had a "mini-meltdown/pity party" about the dorm room, how hard her classes were, how much work, yada yada. Well, as I wasn't the most sympathetic audience, I had a sit down with DD and let her vent, but then I asked DD if she would like to trade places with me, or with any of her high school classmates who weren't fortunate enough to have gone away to college. I think the light bulb went off for DD. After our discussion, it seemed as tho she had gotten it, and truly appreciated having the opportunity to be away at school. By the end of the Fall semester, DD couldn't wait to go back from Christmas Break. Thankfully, it all fell into place and worked out well. If you feel your DS is not isolated, and otherwise seems to be doing well, then I would just try to wait for him to communicate. I tried to sit on my hands, so as to let DD get into her groove at school, only texted if necessary, and responded to the texts DD initiated. I knew she was adjusting okay after the first few months, and I am confident in my relationship with DD being very strong at its core. I figured if she needed me, she would call or text. I also did some baking, sent her favorite cookies along with a mid-semester care package. While recently on vacation visiting family (DD is now a sophmore), I asked about a another family member whose DD is the same age as my DD, and who is now attending her sophmore year at college away from home. I was curious how much communication went on between that student and her mom/dad/family? Well, the person to whom I was talking had taken said student to her college orientation, as her parents were both working that day. The speaker at orientation told the parents (mine wasn't the parent), that if you aren't hearing from your child, send them a text or email, or even leave a VM on their cell, that you are sending them $$, or do they need anything? See how fast they respond. LOL. So, we just tried a little experiment after this vacation conversation to see if the advice was good advice. Heard back immediately from DD. We laughed so hard about how true that orientation speaker was. So, there is something to that particular strategy. Fall break isn't too far off. My DD attends a private college, so they have a fall break next weekend, but most big universities don't have the mini break, first time home will be Thanksgiving. Just wait till you see the difference in your DS. It was amazing watching from afar, my DD change into an independent young woman. HTH.

I know the pride you feel. Getting through college is a lot of work. Congratulations to your DD and to you as well because it takes active and interested parents to help get students through. DS just moved out of that area, Prescott to be exact. He got a job in Oakland.

we told our kids(2 of them) to apply to schools with a lot of majors so if they changed it, at least the school had so many that it should be able to accommodate them. another thing we did was ask them what they didn't want to do. it really helped them to narrow down what they did want to do. i know it sounds crazy but it worked. what junior in HS, really knows what they want to do for the rest of their lives?? we also asked: do u want a small/medium/big school? country/suburb/city school? far away/not too far/ close....anything to narrow it down., its so overwhelming and stressful, they need all the help u can give. absolutely, so much value in education...in today's world, you have to a minimum of BA degree. most want master's or more...its crazy. i am seeing some of my kids friends/classmates with no direction and they are just floundering,, so sad. if u are not the "college" type, go learn a trade but do something!!! best of luck to your daughter. these are trying times but she seems to have her head on straight, so the first hurdle is over. it all works out for the best in the end, its just getting there that's difficult :)