...but Chelone,if I snuck up behind you and carefully placed a straw within my armpit and gave a nice puff...would you lol just a little bit? I bet that would at least make you grin: ) OK it would be short lived but appreciated.lol That's the thing. Life sends us stuff. Some of it is good, fun,happy stuff and then the yucky stuff slips in too-it's inevitable. I think you are going to handle the tax stuff OK-that accountant is a godsend. Your mom's situation just stinks-no one deserves that kind of treatment-or lack of.BUT because I know you-(well,you know)...you will say what you think about her care and that squeaky wheel certainly will get it's oil. She's new there-they just need your input and I think you'll get results. Your brother seems really on board so at least you are a team? Does he have the same worries that you do? No facility is better than what a daughter or son would realistically want for a parent but I hope you do see an attempt from them to do better for her. I think you are exhausted from all of it-look at how long this has been going on for you. That's why you are having sleep probs,you don't want to go to work,the construction stuff is bugging you....each of these things alone are things you are capable of handling(we're talking about CHELONE here; )it's just all of them clumped together and the emotion added to it are muddling things. Take one thing at a time-you'll be OK. It's not easy but I think you will get through this too. Hmmm we're home one day from our paradise weektrip and MIL was complaining on the phone, she wanted life to be over due to some stiff pain she's having...just what Chris wanted to hear... I keep thinking how things could be much worse than they are-it gives me perspective to deal with it. Sue I just wanted to tell you that while I'm sure you'll have some initital discomfort, all that walking/exercise you get will probably cut your recovery down considerably-just be obedient and take things slow at the beginning. I hope you are calm(especially with no wine or food!)and things go well for you tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you...say,does this mean you'll be slowed down enough to idyll more? : ) Drema-beautiful card! Thank you! I didn't know about the program at the CBG but I'll have to look into it. I hope your newly planted items survive-would a heavy mulch at the base help? I think everything that has sprouted now will be a little deformed but get some normal regrowth when temps stablize...(crossing fingers) Hocking Hills was fabulous if you don't mind hail storms,rain and cold : ) STRANGE weather all over the place. Hocking Hills had a couple warm weeks in the 70's before Easter but by the time we arrived they had been having freeze warnings and many plants/trees were zapped. The first night in our place we had a wind/hailstorm that brough an inch of hail!That was loud! I guess there was talk of a possible tornado but I didn't hear if it was true. Well, at least our cottage was built into a hillside so we were very safe. We had one day(Fri.) with warm breezes and full sun...and I got a sunburn from hanging out in the hot tub-odd but true. The ride back was treacherous with a slush rain snow thing happening-it was part of the storm that is going to blast the east coast-hang on you guys. Back here in Cleveland we were supposed to get snow-but they were wrong so it's dry now and the sun just came out-I hope the nor'easter is much less harsh than they predict. I don't mean to be short(I say that alot lately) but I need to finish the laundry and get things ready for the school week. If I have time I'll be back. Cynthia-Monty's illness sounds scary! I hope things are improving for Monty. I hope you are doing OK too. ~Babs

If you are trying to keep a handy stock of extra leaves as cover material for your compost pile, then just about any method works. Plastic bags, extra bin, wire enclosure, open pile, shredded or not. If being used as extra compost cover materials, you may wish to keep it dry so it doesn't freeze on you when you need to use it as cover. Whatever works best for your particular situation and space.

Yeah, there's something goin' on. As I've understood it, the only way a firm diagnosis of Alzhiemer's can be made is with necropsy... only then can the heavy placques in the brain be discerned. But I could be misremembering. Mum suffered a stroke in '04 and it was in the right parietal lobe of her brain; affecting short term memory and critical decison making. As it was explained to me, she is the perfect example of LEAPING before LOOKING. She often failed to THINK about a course of action. Now, her dementia has progressed to a point where she no longer really attempts a lot of things on her own. She never knows what day it is. She doesn't know what year it is. But she knows her birthdate, can name her (now deceased) siblings and all her immediate family. She can't always name my brother... and is often confused about who, exactly, he is... confuses him with my deceased father or my husband frequently. She can't name the cats in the house or the dog, but she identifies them by their individual physical characteristics. She has no clue about money any more, either! She reacts the same way at the doctor's office, too. You need to establish medical and legal POA, asap. And you need to esptablish a routine for her. You do the same things at the same time everyday and you ask questions that require her to THINK and guide her to the result you want to see. For instance: every morning I go down to Mum's room, turn on the lights and open the draperies. I wake her up with, "Good morning! it's time to get up". Then I sit in the chair and allow her to "come to". Next, I direct her to the written instructions for unhooking her urostomy from the night collection jug. I prompt her and she usually does it flawlessly. Then I clean and disinfect it. Then we make her bed together, I lay out her clothes for her, and prompt her to wash her hands, face, and fix her hair. And get dressed. I leave her alone to do those things. If I don't hear her coming to the stairs in 20 minutes I go check. Then she has breakfast. We do it the same way, every day. Drives me NUTS, but it works for her and I know the military regimen helps keep her safe. I put the kibosh on the nastiness early. SORRY! I won't live that way... Zoloft has spared me the commission of a felony, lol. Speak to her doctor about depression... very common in the elderly. Mum was 84 lbs. when she came to live with me... but, "Me? DEPRESSED? certainly not! I've never been depressed in my life!". yeah, RIGHT (she weighs 125-130 now). :)

The issue of boundries between parents and adult children is always a difficult one, especially when the adult children are living in the parents' home. But I think that when the child has a disability, the boundries get even stickier. When the child is younger, there are things the parents either need to or just tend to do for the child with a disability that they might not do for a child without a disability. It's instinctive and natural for the parents to try to remove as many obstacles as possible to keep their child safe and from being unnecessarily hurt. It sounds like that's what your parents are still doing -- trying to keep you from getting hurt, and not quite relinquishing their caretaker roles. Maybe they unconsciously feel like they have an important role helping you manage your marriage. (seriously) Whether they feel that way or not, they still no doubt feel a strong sense of responsability for your well-being. The other thing that may be going on is a bit of "payback". I don't mean that at all in a "revenge" way, but rather in a "When she was growing up, we did so much, and now that she's a capable adult and we're getting older, it's time she did the same for us" mentality. Do you know what type of future they had planned for you? I know your future should be YOUR decision, but believe me, your parents had/have a vision for you, and it's one you need to know of. You don't have to choose to follow it -- but if you know what it is, you'll have a much easier time communicating about whether or not you agree with it. I think it's time for some serious talks -- first with your husband, then with your parents. Time to discuss how and where you want to live your adult lives. Are the two of you able to live independently and raise a child? (It's hard for anybody.) And/or do you have the community supports that will make it possible? You said you live in the country and are "stuck in the house with no transportation, family or public" Are there any stores within walking distance? Other services? Are there agencies that will help with job placement, transportation and housing location? How far is the nearest town or city that can provide some resources and assistance? You all have some big decisions to make, and it's time for some open, honest and realistic discussions. (In case you're wondering where I'm coming from on this, I am speaking as the mother of a child with a disability, who, with ongoing community support, may be able to live independently as an adult.)