Raehelen, I think our mothers must come from the same school--the raddish roses and carrot curls for sure, and your quick pickles sound like a version of the Japanese cucumber salad my mother makes. I'm more of the loaf of bread, jug of wine (and stinky cheese) kind of picnicker. Lots of crudite, curled or otherwise. Olives, hearts of palm, baby corn, marinated mushrooms. Anything simple and whole that doesn't need preparation or utensils (in my salad days I had a pocket knife with a cheese blade ;) ). Prepared nibbles? How about stuffed grape leaves? Or pack Israeli salad into miniature peppers. Home made potato chips. I have a friend who loves pinwheel sandwiches, which can be made small, the size of a quarter. It's just important to use sticky ingredients for a picnic so they don't come apart. Flour tortillas are gummy, but work well. Another friend makes something like ham and cheese granola. I'm not sure what it is, but it's crunchy. How about hard boiled quail eggs?

Hmmm.. I certainly don't have great advice to give here, but I will tell you what happened with me. I had my first cat for 7 years (she had moved cross country, and a few different apartments with me) and she was my one and only. Until one day at work in a barn I heard a little pathetic "mew-ing" coming from a dark corner. I searched real hard (the barn had no lights, only natural daylight coming in through the door, and the cat was black and about 2-3 lbs) until I found her. Against the advice of my boss (who owned the barn) I went inside and got some food and some milk to give to the starving kitty. I kept this up for about 2 weeks, and during this time my bf (the boss's son) started to like the kitty as well and asked if we could take her home with us. I knew my one and only cat would certainly not appreciate it, but my heartstrings got the better of me (the area was well known for kitty road kill) and I agreed to bring her home. Once there my precious cat, who up until now had been queen of the castle, displayed her nasty side and I have never seen so much hissing coming from what I though was the gentlest cat in the world. I was the young PUNK then because I knew nothing about socializing cats and how to introduce them to one another. I just plunked Kitty down in the same room as Jelika and watched what happened. Lots of growling/hissing/swatting and who knew what happened when I wasn't home (working on a farm is no 8 hour a day job.. I/we were gone a minimum of 12 hours a day, 7 days a week). But when I got home they both seemed to be in one piece still and eventually... eventually the hissing/growling/swatting subsided. This was 12 years ago and up until sweet Jelika passed away in April, they still occaisionally swatted at one another, but more often than not I would find them curled up together on the bed. Jelika would always sleep by my side, in the crook of my arm and Kitty would sleep by my feet (if on the bed at all). Kitty always wanted to be where Jelika was. Even though I had 2 exact same cat beds in front of the fireplace Kitty would always wait until Jelika left hers and then promptly jumped into that one. And even to this day, with Jelika being gone, Kitty still waits whenever I fill up the food dish, I presume to see if Jelika will want to eat first. She waits until I tell her it is ok to eat, because Jelika isn't coming back. Even at the end though, I think Jelika wanted to prove to Kitty her "ownership and first cat status" over Kitty, because most times when Kitty would sit on my lap, and Jelika got wind of it, no matter where she was or what she was doing she would drop anything and come over and jump up HIGHER on my lap (she would usually end up on my chest somewhere, because one lap is crowded with 2 cats) effectively hogging all the attention/petting and cutting Kitty off. It was kind of funny and I never knew that a cat could give an "evil eye" until I saw Jelika looking at me whenever I would give Kitty a petting. She would always come over and assume that since I had 2 hands, I should be using the free one to pet HER. I certainly don't NEED 2 hands to pet Kitty! I guess I'm telling you all this because I don't think it really matters what you do or how long you separate them or leave them together. The first little while will be a little rough, but eventually they will learn to like each other, and find comfort in each other. I guess I've never done anything "properly" or to exacting standards when it came to my cats, but as long as there is enough love to go around, it will always work out in the end. Good luck, and please don't send Jayden away to a shelter where he may end up in a home that is not even half as loving as yours. Mokanee

Sweeby and the others said it very well. As a MOM, I completely understand that innate desire to protect your own. My DD7 came home from school last week all sad because her "best friend" wasn't her best friend anymore. She said her friend would not let her play with her and a group of other girls at recess. AUUGHHH. It broke my heart. :( Today, however, everything is all a-ok again. So--your situation is obviously more serious and your DS is dealing with some very real and serious issues; I'm not trying to compare what he's going through to playground spats. I just meant I understand that "mama bear" instinct. The first thought I had is that this has all been very fast for your son. You and dad have been divorced for less than a year? And dad is already remarried? That's a lot for anyone to handle, let alone a 7 yr old. Is he in any counseling? I think a sit-down with dad is definitely in order. Honestly, your son would be strange if he DIDN'T have any feelings/issues about all that's happened and all that's changed. But I would also urge you to take it slow and wait and see how things unfold. The version you are getting from your son may not be accurate. Sure, it may be how HE perceives things to be, but kids' perception is often skewed, particularly when they are working through emotional issues. My SS is 7 and my DD is also 7. We've been together since they were not even 2, and lived together since they were 4ish. But even NOW, after all this time, SS will go to his BM's house and say one thing. It's usually some unjust he feels---ie, Dad sent him to time-out and not DD, or DD didn't have to eat all her veggies, and he did. ETC. While there is usually a GRAIN of truth in what he says, he often, as kids do, will neglect to tell the whole story. DD didn't have to finish her carrots because she ate her whole first helping and asked for seconds. Dad told SS and DD to stop doing ________ and DD listened. SS continued to do whatever it was and THAT'S why he went to time-out. ETC. I would proceed slowly and speak with your DH about what your son's been saying. Always keep a CLEAR line of communication with your ex and make sure your son knows that you two will talk regularly and freely. The more open you are with each other, the less likely it is that your son will manipulate the situation. I'm not saying for sure that's what's going on here....but it could be.

Yes, my stress level went way down when I started viewing Thanksgiving as just "time off work" and the gathering as whatever it was or I wanted it to be, not what society markets it as. And my meals became way more fun. If it's just hubs and Dad and I, keep it as simple as possible, a roast bird, mashed potatoes, plain ol' dressing and salad and whatever vegetable I'm in the mood for and looks good at the store. We actually like the frozen mixed vegetables, kind of covers all bases. I like cranberry sauce but I wait until after the holiday to buy cranberries fresh, the price goes way down, so I'm likely to serve an old canned sauce on the actual day of. Tastes just like mine anyway and can be doctored. Hubs makes pumpkin cheesecake. Bam, done. Very occasionally, if we have guests over and I'm still cooking before dinner, I might serve an appetizer like guacamole or spinach artichoke dip and I don't feel guilty about buying it pre-made in the store if I have the money. I don't even bother making mulled wine like I used to, just buy it already made which you can get now. Cider for the tea totalers. I've had the big fancy Thanksgivings with all kinds of dishes and appetizers and all day partying over food, and frankly they just leave me mostly with indigestion. One exception is cherry cranberry crumble I made one year, that has both fresh and dried berries and cherries. It is fab and worth the trouble making. I don't make it for Thanksgiving though, because hubs insists on the cheesecake and one dessert is enough. Again, i used to do two plus cookies, but who needs all that sweet stuff and the left overs? Not us. I'd rather savor one nice dessert at a time. Double the topping if you're wanting something more traditional and aren't as concerned about the "low fat." That's how it manages the "light" moniker, by skimping on the topping. https://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/cranberry-cherry-crumble