My orinocos have just been sitting there for several weeks now because of this cool weather. Have you cut the top of the pseudostem to see what the middle looks like? I'd do that, and if you find brown in the middle, keep cutting down until you find green (or yellow). Then just wait for the heat to come and it should take off. By the way, was that nursery TyTy by any chance? Don't believe one thing they print on their website.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.

Cook him something he loves to eat that your Mom would have made special, but most of all be there for him.Or take him to there favorite place to eat. It's really hard my Mom died in March too and my Dad says nothing. You just don't know what there thinking.

"I wonder if BM did not say something that she might have even thought was completely innocent ("Oh, you had pajamas like that when you were just a tiny little baby") and that was why SS cut the feet off. Cutting feet off PJ's because one's feet are hot does not really make sense to me." DH said the same thing to me----that he, too, wondered if someone had made a comment. He asked BM and she said no, she didn't; but it is possible that SS's stepsister (who is 13) could have. Over here, SS LOVES to wear the footed jammies---so much so that he will complain if none are clean, even though he has lots of other non-footed PJ sets at our house. I agree, cutting the feet off was a bizarre thing to do----one would *think* he would have just changed clothes! I told DH it reminded me of when SS was in kindergarten at a Catholic school, wearing a uniform. The pants were dark tan khakis and we bought him his at Gap----but they were slightly different from the generic khakis sold at the school uniform store, though the handbook said ANY tan khakis would do. Anyway, SS's had a pocket on one side that the other boys' did not. Every day, SS would come home from school with an extra pair of khakis in his backpack----size 6 which were TOO large for him. (He is super tiny.) He kept telling BM and DH that his teacher hated the pants he wore. BM blew up (shocker) and called the teacher ranting about how if she had a problem with SS's pants, she needed to talk to her or DH----NOT send a too-big-pair-of-pants home with SS in a passive aggressive way. The teacher gently told BM that SS had rummaged through the "extra clothes bin" (for kids who had had accidents, etc) and found the pair himself and kept taking them home. When pressed, BM and DH found out that SS was mortified that his pants had "an extra pocket." He has ALWAYS struggled terribly with his feelings and emotions. :( It's terribly sad. You would have thought he would have just said, "Hey mom" or "hey dad," "My pants look different---I feel weird." But no. He has such trouble expressing his emotions and processing his thoughts. I totally think someone may have commented on the jammies, making him uncomfortable! Cutting the feet off is just too strange!