One of the most difficult decisions for a pet owner/lover is when to say goodbye. It's a responsibilty we have though as responsible pet owners. It's heartbreaking and difficult and easy to second guess. Just listen to what your heart and mind tell you. I'm sure you'll do the right thing. There is no exact "right" time. It's interesting how, when many/most animals know their time has come they go off to be by themselves. I've seen the reaction in multi-pet homes and it's really interesting. When one is sick, often the other comes and checks on them, even if they didn't get along otherwise. I've seen my two check on each other when they weren't 100% and leave them alone but still check. However when the time came, the ill one will go find a hiding spot to be alone and peaceful. The other then stays away until they've passed. It's interesting how humans feel a need to drag the world around someone who is dying. Someone in a bed, probably nervous, in pain, possibly scared but we have to have the world watch them in their discomfort and embarrassment and indignity. Some may want it, some wouldn't. But the differences are rather striking. I sense a big part of it is we humans as survivors have to make ourselves feel good that we were there when they died. Maybe we need to take a lesson from animals. The bathroom incident I would agree is anxiety and in this case a separation anxiety. It's not unusual for animals to experience anxiety of many forms more as they get older. Often that can be the root of their trouble with bladder control. They get excited and wet. Often our pets are used to getting what they want, right? We often spoil them. As they age, there's certainly memory loss and they don't really understand the concept of "time". They don't eat because it's a certain time, they eat when there's food available and/or when they're hungry or bored. They often have a routine that after eating they'll get some water. Normally when they feel the urge to go out they'll let you know but as they age, they have trouble telling what it is. Some say they can't feel it. I tend to wonder if it's just they don't remember what that feeling means. Either way the result is the same. Clearly you are aware of the situation. I know you'll make the right decision. I've seen a few people who just couldn't part with their long-time friends and put them through too much. I think that's selfish and hope I don't do that should my critters need me to make the ultimate decision for them. Don't forget the happy times with your companion. Best wishes to you all.

My dogs LOVE to ride, so they get to go TO the grocery store when it's not too hot or cold for them to wait briefly for me in the car. A local grocery store (large chain - Shaw's, for those in the northeast) has a hearing impaired cashier who brings his service dog to work with him, and the dog sits quietly right beside him at the register, wearing his service dog vest. Just after Christmas last year, I was in another large grocery store and saw a man with the tiniest dog all bundled up in a blanket in the child seat area of his cart. You could barely see the dog, who was beautifully dressed. I asked if I could pet the dog, and he told me her sad story. He was a retired state trooper who had a 'friend' adopt this sweet pup, and proceed to crate it and completely ignore it. Long story short, he told the friend he was either going to report the treatment to authorities, or turn the dog over to him. He got the dog, and told the person that if he ever found out he had another dog, he would report him, as I guess he had this history with them. I could tell that this tiny dog was going to be loved so much by this man, as when I asked if I could pet her, and we talked, he was speaking to the dog too. It was so cute to see this big man talk to her and say, 'Daddy will never let anyone touch you who wouldn't love you.' Since she was covered and only her tiny head stuck out, and she was quite shy, I don't think many people would have even noticed her, but he wanted to acclimate her to public places.

I am so sorry to hear about Gracie. Sue, my rottie (also named Grace) had an adrenal tumor but it presented as cushings-- it am sure you have read about it but cushings causes a crazy food drive which combined with the anxiety can make for aggression. Luckily my rottie never had aggression-- at 115lb, if she was aggressive, I would have had to stop all treatment. Her food drive was something else though. I remember one day my father brought me a frozen container of homemade vegetable soup. I set it on the counter and walked outside with him as he left. In the short amount of time to walk him to his car-- maybe 10 min MAX? Grace had gotten the frozen quart container off the counter, broke through the plastic and ate all the *frozen* soup! Another time, I walked into the kitchen to find her on her hind two legs with her snout in a pot of simmering roasted veggie and lentil soup-- hot! This girl loved soup! LOL Because the tumor (like cushings) was producing large amounts of corticosteroids-- the hormone responsible for the fight or flight reaction. Like I said, Grace wasn't aggressive but she had a high level of anxiety. She couldn't just relax. She paced constantly.. and when she could relax enough to lay down, any sound had her back up. She wasn't sleeping. I wasn't sleeping. It was exhausting for her.. and for all of us. Because surgery wasn't an option for the second tumor, we put her on an anti-anxiety pill. It was a huge help and might be something to discuss with your vet. Grace actually lived MUCH longer than the vets expected and I believe the anti anxiety pill made that possible. It did nothing to cure the tumor-- but it helped keep the symptoms under control.

@Beth H: The closest ocean to landlocked AZ is Puerto Peñasco, Mexico or in English Rocky Point. It's about 3 and a half hr drive depending where in AZ you begin - about 212 miles. You can get to San Diego Cali in about 5-6 hours which is 355 miles from AZ or head to L.A. in about 5-6 hours but don't try it on a Sunday or Friday! LOL @Destiny Jensen: If you think AZ has no major natural disasters - think again: Most frequent disasters are severe thunderstorms, flash flooding, drought and dust storms (ya haven't lived until a dust storm comes through town). Three years ago, a wildfire burned a half a million acres. Bring some marshmallows when ya come to stay. If you don't included Cali's wildfires last year, AZ is the 4 state with the highest dollars spent thanks to disasters - all natural. If you want a safe state, try Vermont, Main, Minnesota, Utah, New Hampshire, Connecticut or Rhode Island, Hawaii, Massachusetts or Washington for safe from most disasters - top 10. So, if I could live anywhere, where would I live? Well, right where I am now in the great nation of Texas. I like the rural life and the south yet be a day's drive to lots of places to take a fast weekend, hike, raft down a river, see the mountains - hit Mexico or Louisiana or OK, or AR or NM. Could even make MS or GA and panhandle of FL in one day's drive. Yea, and I can take a trip to see friends in Guadalajara in a couple hours or fly to see a friend in Granville Ferry and take in the Celtic festival in Cape Breton. No matter where I roam in this world, I always get a "high" when those wheels hit the great nation of Texas. Yeah, I'm home.