My 15 year old pug has IVDD (disc disease) and I thought we would have to put her down two years ago because her mobility was impacted and she was in significant pain. She rallied, however, and has been on prednisone and pain meds for the past two years.

During the past few months, she has been slipping more. She won't do her business outside now unless we carry her out and put her in the grass. It's almost like she has forgotten how. I don't think she has much feeling in her back legs due to the IVDD, and that is part of the problem. She has difficulty getting up to a standing position, and occasionally seems to get 'stuck' in a sitting position -- she will remain in one spot, looking uncomfortable, until one of us helps her stand up.

She still enjoys her food, has a good appetite, and likes to be with us -- following us around from room to room (she has a bed / pillow spot in each room). So, I don't think it's quite time, although I know it is close.

Like Sue, I am hoping that I will be able to tell it is time and won't hold on to my sweet little Gracie just for my sake.

My 22 year old daughter told me last week that although she can move in to her grad school apartment this weekend, she wants to stay at home through July to spend time with Gracie. My 20 year old son can't remember not having Gracie with us, so it is hard to begin to say goodbye.

Hugs to everyone who is or has struggled with this!

Nin -- he's been home from college since the beginning of May. (We also have 2 other kids so she's got plenty of company!) Phoebe has actually gotten worse since he's been home.

Sugar plum -- what a cute dog!

These threads always make me cry. I don't even want to think about it :(

For those who haven't seen this (copied from the Internet):

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”

The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Awww, Beagles. That is so cute/sad. We already talked to our kids about whether, when the time comes, they would want to be there if Phoebe has to be put down. (My kids are older: 14, 19, 23.) They all said no way!

Beagles - not fair. I'm just about to head out to walk my nieces dog which I do three times a week and now I'm crying. And he is the best dog ever.

So true. Dogs are so pure.

We were so fortunate that our vet came to the house when it was time to let Jake and then Mort go. It was different with Artie. He went down so fast that I had to say goodbye at the vet's, but at least I was able to hold him in my arms as she put him to sleep. I can't imagine not being there for that final act of caring.

We were far away on vacation when our beloved Bichon's health went into crisis. We couldn't be there and it was so incredibly painful to have our vet put him to sleep and tell HER to tell him we loved him.

I'm crying just thinking about it.

I wish it on no one.

Fortunately, we have a vet who comes to our house even for routine care, so we know (if we can plan...who knows) that Phoebe can be at home, maybe even in her favorite bed. Oh jeez. I need to stop talking about this!

But thank you all for helping me to think about this, and sharing your experiences.

Another funny/sad thing she has been doing for about 6 months: Our youngest dog has a crate that she sleeps in at night. Phoebe has never slept in a crate --well, maybe as a puppy, but not for long. Anyway, she spends a LOT of time in the crate now. I think she feels safe in there? Sometimes we have to almost drag her out so we can put the other dog in. We even put a second crate out for her, but she doesn't want that one!

Oh Sue, she is so sweet looking, and I know saying that doesn't help. Hope you won't mind my asking the same on your post. Difference is that my almost 15 yr. Old is not only 80% blind and deaf, but also has dementia (stands n corners, gets stuck in furniture, forgotten to wait for outside to potty, etc) Her quality of life seems nil, other than still enjoying her meals. No more playing with our other dog due to confusion and arthritis hip pain. She enjoys ear, neck rubs. Very sad, and it is probably time, but hard to do as long as she is eating well and is ( poorly) mobile......and still so pretty..Cataracts, lumps and all !! Only wish I could age as well, looks- wise. :) marti

I seem to remember reading that dogs and cats (maybe all animals?) will look for a cave type location when the end is near; perhaps that is why she's preferring the crate?

Hugs to everyone here. We all dread getting to the point you are, Sue. Our mother/son tag team are about nine and 10 years-old now (or is it 10 and 11-have to check when we adopted them at ages one and two). They are the joys of my life these days and I want them to live forever as do we all, I imagine.

Thank you for posting that Beagles.

Sue I am so glad to hear that she has her family with her. It is probably more comforting for you as well not to have to deal with this alone. All the best wishes.

I echo the idea that you will know. I have a 17-18 year old cat with kidney disease, he has four prescriptions and we give him subcutaneous fluids every day. I know his time is near (well, I thought that last year!) but he's still loving life and very lively for an old guy so he's okay for now with us. I asked the cat if he was enjoying the twilight of his life and my husband said, "Twilight? More like Twilight Part IV!"

I find sometimes our vets want us to prolong pets' lives well beyond what I think is reasonable and it makes the owner feel even worse when he or she has to make the decision.

I have started letting my old guy into the garden because he couldn't catch a bird if he tried. The neighbour's kitten is obsessed with him.

Just came across this recent NY Mag article about pet end of life issues: http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/07/on-end-of-life-care-for-pets.html

I am so sorry for what you are going through Sue. Our Sara was 15 when her gradual decline had escalated to the point where she was having a hard time navigating stairs and did not want to go out. We adopted her when she was 8 from Springer rescue, and she had many fine years romping around. The vet called her "a gracious lady", despite her 2 bouts with cancer. When the cancer returned, Sara's lungs were full and the vet said her time was near. We arranged for the vet and her tech to come to the house for the euthanasia, where we all gathered around. Even little Billie, whom we had just adopted wanted to be near Sara. In fact she insisted on being on the same bed with her, which was unusual. She must have had a 6th sense. When the time came, we took Billie off Sara's bed, the vet gave her an injection and she very peacefully passed on. We were all sobbing uncontrollably, but were relieved for Sara. This pic was taken before the vet arrived at our home. Her place in our hearts will always remain, but after 6 months we did adopt another shelter dog from Sterling Animal Shelter and she lives with our oldest DD. You will know when it's time. Listen to your heart and your instincts.

Bonnie, that is such a cute yet sad photo.

I appreciate everyone sharing their stories. Like any older living thing, she has good days and bad days. I think she has seemed a bit more perky over the last few days, but then I watch her struggle to get up the TWO steps from the back yard into the house and I wonder how lousy she feels. She still loves to eat, and I think when and if that changes, we will know it's time...unless something else significant happens.

I really wish we could all have a giant group hug. Losing a dear friend is so hard.

Sue, I don't know how to explain it, but you will know when it's time. It is the last loving thing we do for them. It seems like just yesterday that our Robbie left us at 15, and now our "baby" Rio is 14. I think about it all the time as I watch her getting slower and slower. It is so hard. Hugs to you and all who love our furbabies so much.

We made the decision exactly five weeks ago. Our 14 year old Samoyed had been slowing down for a couple of years, and was diagnosed with bladder cancer in July 2014. Her world was shrinking. She had been a therapy dog, but now mainly slept. She still really enjoyed walks (getting slower and slower), eating, and being brushed. My husband and I had multiple talks about her quality of life. About two or three months ago she started to object to being brushed. A week or two before the end she got really picky about foods, until she would only eat treats, chicken, and potatoes, and not enough of that. One morning she cried as she tried to get up which woke us up, my husband said it was time and we called the vet who made a house call on a Sunday.

Our previous dog, also with cancer, also became a picky eater. One day she got half a block from home on a walk and lay down, then refused to eat. It was also obvious that it was time.

socalgal and bonnie_ann- I am so sorry. ((((hugs))))

... need to remember to have tissues nearby when I catch up on this thread ...

Wow, what a difficult thread. My 10yo boxer died on June 1st so I'm still a little raw. I have another 10yo boxer and she's doing great but has slowed down significantly. I have yet to have a boxer live past 10. :-(

Oh, I'm sorry, Magda...I remember you have mentioned having boxers before. Our #2 bulldog is turning 10 this week too. I feel like I'm going to be running a bulldog nursing home before long. The 10 yo is still very perky, though. I can't imagine her slowing down anytime soon.

Sue, just catching up on this thread. Phoebe is a cutie and I are her pals.thses decisions are so hard. Yes, sometime dogs just die. My mom!s Doberman just went to bed and died there. My ex-husband's dog literally dropped dead before his eyes. Horrible.

I remember taking my old cat to the vet to be put to sleep. She wa 18 , had cataracts, was missing the litter box and not eating. Of course the morning of the appointment,she perked up. I took her anyway since it would have been postponing the inevitable. I cried like a baby through the whole procedure. I stayed so she would not be alone. It was an easy passing.

Wishing you and phoebe the best.

I just made an appointment for Friday with my vet to discuss end options for my sweet Gracie. We had a family discussion over the weekend, and decided that the time is close, and we want to all be with her at the end. My kids (college age) begin school in early August, so it will be before then. My heart is already aching, this is SO HARD, but we can't keep watching Gracie struggle so much.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's hard. I still tear up at the thought of putting our beloved 11 yr old lab down and that was over 4 years ago.

His health went downhill quickly over a few weeks. He started peeing in the house and was having trouble walking all of a sudden. We found out he had a bad bladder infection and treated him for that but also found out he had cancer. Within a few weeks he couldn't walk at all and was barely eating. My DH had to carry him outside to go to the bathroom and I made him boiled chicken and rice and fed him by hand.

The last night before we put him down he walked all by himself up the steep stairs outside into the horse area and "nested" in the furthest corner of our property. He didn't want us around him, which wasn't like him at all. We all told him how much we loved him and hugged him before we left to gather inside and cry our hearts out, thinking he went there to die alone. He fooled us when he strolled through the open back door some time later, and laid down with us on the kitchen floor!

That night he thoroughly enjoyed his last meal of spaghetti and meatballs, fed by hand at the dining room table which was never allowed before, but by the next morning he was worse and we knew it was time. We told the kids to give him all their love and that we were taking him to the vet, but didn't tell them he was going to be put down because we didn't want them to be so upset at school. I regret that now and still wonder if they should have gone with us. It was really hard and emotionally traumatizing for DH and me though, and I'm not sure how the kids would have handled it. We did bring him home and buried him up in the horse area, so they said their goodbyes then.

juddgirl2, our black lab was the same scenario-exactly. There was nothing that could be done in the end and I'm glad we let her go when we did, as she was really suffering.

I'm sorry you're going through this Sue. You'll know when it's time. There will come a point when any back and forth questioning will stop and you'll know. My cat didn't want held anymore and wanted left alone. Stopped eating. The look changed in his eyes and face and we knew. Looking back, I honestly think it would have been more humane to end it the day before we did. I knew he wasn't going to get better and I'm sure he felt lousy. I was still doing the questioning though.

I had to make that decision for my 19 year old cat on Monday. Her world had shrunk down due to her cataracts, deafness, diabetes, and kidney issues. She slept a lot and had been lightly incontinent now for about a year, but when I was giving her some wet food on Sunday, and went to change the towel lining her snuggie, it was sopping wet. And she was sitting there, looking bedraggled, in the mess. She used to be so fastidious. When she looked at me, kinda sad, with her dignity gone, I knew it was time.

We spent the rest of the day digging out old pictures and sharing memories, and spoiling her with chunks of chicken. She could always smell that and come running from anywhere, and so it was a running joke in our house. When the vet gave her the initial sedation on Monday, she had one last flash of her old spirit and used her polydactyl foot to swat, and drew blood. It gave me a wry chuckle and mortified me at the same time.

When it's time, you do know. It's hard. But, it's a good kind of hard. You know you're doing the right thing for them.

aw - live_wire_oak, I'm so sorry. What was your cats name? She'll be meeting my Julius, Jade and Abbey.

So sorry, live wire. Yikes, a lot of pet deaths in the group recently.

I love the idea of the spaghetti and meatball dinner, juddgirl. We are so careful with treats with our girls, because Bulldogs usually have weight issues (ours don't) but if we know when Phoebe's last day is, we will give her all the cheese and steak she wants!

sueb20 - our lab had weight issues so he was rarely allowed people food, other than the crumbs he could sneak from beneath my daughter's dinner chair. He was always so funny before he got sick, every night sitting in rapt attention right next to her chair with such a concentrated focus on her movements, ready to quickly gobble up anything she might drop onto the floor!

I think he knew being hand fed his own bowl of spaghetti and meatballs was quite the treat and he put aside his lack of appetite to really enjoy that last meal!

I wish you well and the strength to deal with it when the time comes.

I had saved this on Facebook earlier in the week, but just had time to read. Thought it was worth sharing on this thread.

https://markingourterritory.wordpress.com/2014/12/03/on-losing-a-dog/

We said goodbye to our sweet little Gracie this morning. Her photo is up-thread.

We consulted with our vet last week, who agreed that it was time. We spent the past week loving on her and treating her to all of her favorite things.

Even though I know it was the best thing that we could do for her, our hearts are broken.

Oh, Sugar PLum, that is sad. I'm sorry you had to say goodbye.

I am so sorry, Sugar Plum - that heartbreak is absolute. And yet.... we sign up for it again in time, because somehow, the trade is worth it.

Oh Sugar Plum, I love that you took an extra week to love and give her all that special attention. Pugs are such cuties. Also glad your DD put off moving into her apartment. Gracie's last weeks were good ones and that is the best we can do, isn't it?

Sugar Plum, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Gracie.

MtnRd, DLM, Cyn, and Jana - thank you for your kind words. We are adjusting to life without her, but it has been tough. I find that I am still 'listening' for her, and I woke this morning and headed to the kitchen to feed her. :( I know it will get easier with time.

Oh sugar plum, I am so sorry. It sounds like you had a great dog in Gracie and she had a great family. The best kind of relationship.

I'm so sorry to hear about Gracie.

Long story, but we had a false alarm last week when it appeared that Phoebe might have cancer. I thought we'd be putting her down this week. However, the ultrasound showed no tumor but instead, probably Cushings Disease. We will have further testing soon.

Meanwhile, she is being so mean to one of our other dogs, attacking her at dinner time, so we are going to have to start feeding them in separate rooms. The end doesn't look as though it's going to be graceful, no matter what. If a disease doesn't get her, Coco (the dog she's fighting with) might put a pillow over her face in the middle of the night...

Sugar Plum,

so sorry to hear about Gracie. It is heart breaking, but it does get better. We lost our old girl at 17 almost two years ago and even though she could barely walk and began falling and unable to get up, she never lost her appetite. I was still feeding her ham and cheese while she was getting drowsy from the first shot and DH (her love) was petting and talking to her. Her last moments were happy and when she fell into the deep sleep from the initial sedation, her old body relaxed in a way that it hadn't even in her sleep in months, we knew we were doing the right thing for her and that helped ease our pain.

so sorry to all the others who have shared their grief. No matter what the circumstances, it is hard to let our furry friends go.

mojomom- DH and I are going through the same thing right now.

My heart has been breaking reading this thread because our older dog is slowly losing strength in his back legs, has arthritis and his mobility is greatly reduced.

We've been helping him up and down from the car and bed, etc, but now he has difficulty getting up and his legs collapse under him from time to time when he's out on uneven surfaces.

We're not sure if the sudden decline is due to the addition of a new med (gabapentin) or is just happening.

Either way, it's getting undignified and our poor dog is getting snappy at DH when he tried to handle him.

We're trying to not be unfair to him and hold onto him longer than we should because we love him so much.

He's 14+ and has been with us since 3 mos. old.

I am so sorry to hear about Gracie.

Sue, my rottie (also named Grace) had an adrenal tumor but it presented as cushings-- it am sure you have read about it but cushings causes a crazy food drive which combined with the anxiety can make for aggression. Luckily my rottie never had aggression-- at 115lb, if she was aggressive, I would have had to stop all treatment. Her food drive was something else though. I remember one day my father brought me a frozen container of homemade vegetable soup. I set it on the counter and walked outside with him as he left. In the short amount of time to walk him to his car-- maybe 10 min MAX? Grace had gotten the frozen quart container off the counter, broke through the plastic and ate all the *frozen* soup! Another time, I walked into the kitchen to find her on her hind two legs with her snout in a pot of simmering roasted veggie and lentil soup-- hot! This girl loved soup! LOL

Because the tumor (like cushings) was producing large amounts of corticosteroids-- the hormone responsible for the fight or flight reaction. Like I said, Grace wasn't aggressive but she had a high level of anxiety. She couldn't just relax. She paced constantly.. and when she could relax enough to lay down, any sound had her back up. She wasn't sleeping. I wasn't sleeping. It was exhausting for her.. and for all of us. Because surgery wasn't an option for the second tumor, we put her on an anti-anxiety pill. It was a huge help and might be something to discuss with your vet. Grace actually lived MUCH longer than the vets expected and I believe the anti anxiety pill made that possible. It did nothing to cure the tumor-- but it helped keep the symptoms under control.

I am so sorry for the losses experienced in this group. The losses and the knowledge that loss is looming. It hurts so very much, I know.

We said goodbye to our sweet Tiger today. He's had a number of health problems and over the past week or so, his decline was severe. When he attempted to jump on my lap yesterday but fell over in a heap instead, my heart told me what I've been trying to deny. It was time. This morning I took this last photo of Tiger (on the left) with his sister Molly. She too seemed to instinctively just know that time was short and he needed to be comforted. While not one to cuddle often with other cats, today she snuggled up close to her brother. This photo breaks my heart and fills me with joy, all at the same time.

I'm sure we all know the importance of doing the right thing, no matter how it hurts. But gosh - it hurts. It hurts so much.

auntjen

It's a very sad day for both of us. DH and I decided to let our older dog go today. The weekend was pretty bad with our Tucker's back legs continuing to fail him, and worse, him biting DH when he tried to pick him up.

This morning, he looked a bit sad, disheveled and resigned. His appetite just dropped off suddenly, which made it nearly impossible to give him his meds.

We decided to not try anything further that would never be able to restore him, but would only prolong his life where it was at.

After 14+ years, I've dreaded this day and it feels every bit as bad as I'd imagined.

Somehow, I feel I've failed him. I know not waiting until the bitter end was the right thing to do, and the fact that he just lost his 'Tuckerness' made me so sad for him.

We want to remember our dog filled with life and happiness, and remember his unique spirit that we were lucky enough to know for so long.

I hope I see him again. I hope he's rejoined our other beloved dogs by now.

mimipadv, I am so very sorry that you had to say goodbye to your sweet Tucker today. Sad day indeed. I know exactly what you mean about feeling you've failed him. I've struggled - and will likely continue to struggle - with those kinds of thoughts about Tiger too. I know that's very common, though. They can't communicate to us and we can't communicate to them -- so we just do our best with what we know HOW to do, but are left feeling that it wasn't enough somehow.

I truly believe we WILL see our little ones again when we too reach the other side. I believe in a God that delights in each of his unique creations, and I have to think that He brings them home and we will see them again. That gives me great hope. I hope you too find comfort and hold on to your hope. (((((Hugs)))))

Thank you, auntjen. Hugs to you, too.