Jay, Our soil temps here are lower now than they were a month or more ago too. The weather patterns have changed here as well and I don't like it at all. It is always hard enough to get heat-sensitive plants to grow fast enough to produce before the heat shuts them down, and it is getting harder. I used to plant corn around March 20-27 and harvest in late May (for an extra-early corn like Sunglow) or in June. It is mid-April and I haven't even planted corn yet. Around here, the raccoons often miss the early corn crop because it ripens before they expect. If you can't get a crop in early, the odds are the raccoons will beat you to a later one. It is harder now to tell newer gardeners what to expect in the spring and when to plant because the weather is ignoring our "usuals" and "averages" and "recommended planting dates" and doing whatever the heck it wants to do. Potatoes are another great example. The last few years, if you've gone by the standard recommended planting dates, you've lost the tops to freezes year after year after year. Most of the plants recover and regrow, but their crop is later and smaller. My potatoes foliage froze last week at 19 degrees and had frozen a week or two before that when it dropped into the mid-20s. It is raining here this morning, though, so at least we'll have enough moisture in the soil to get seeds and plants started. Dawn

It is not the worst thing ever. I will say though it is the one thing my parents would change about their house. Theirs is upstairs on an upstairs hallway but it still bugs them. That being said, we have one in our house too! It could not be avoided as we were trying to fit a bath into a particular space and it needed to have two doors (shares with a bedroom and playroom so one is in the bedroom and one is in the hall). The hall door is the one that opens onto the toilet. It is in a dormer with a window above so I think plantation shutters will detract from the toilet aspect. Again, it could not be avoided so we will live with it (and honestly it never really bothered me at my parents either. . . ) Not sure I would give up a foot of counter space in a bath to do away with it though!

Natal, I'm afraid to even add a space between the three letters for fear of being banned. lol. In fact, when I sent this message, instead of showing me it went through it said Message Rejected. I thought I had gotten the boot!

I think many things are happening at the same time. Yes , your SM does picture you the way you were at 18, pot smoking etc.etc.. Over the years of you 'fixing' yourself, she didn't see this improvement so off the bat she will be defensive of you returning into her life. BUT it also sounds to me, that she did have pent up frustration over he years, maybe at you, maybe at your dad and its all surfacing now. I dont believe you are bad, that you did anything wrong. I think the JR has fixed view of you when you were in your 'bad' time and sees no change. PLUS she maybe going through her own issues now..you nver know maybe she is depressed or going throuhg menal pause. or having marital problems with you dad that you are unaware of. BUt its obvious her anger has focuses on you and your daughter. I also had a 'evil ' stepmother wheni was young after my mother died. The second SM was great. Just like JR. Friendly like a school teacher and friend. I'm friends with her too. BUT i also went through a bad stage in my life and also had a falling out with my sm. There was a 7 year lapse between my sm, dad and me. I didn't call and if i did they would be angry and hate me...etc... It took a few years for both sides to rekindle a relationship and alot of coffee talk etc... So do not be discouraged with your SM. I think she feels resentful about your daughter because you were with a man who was violent and in most cases woman choose to end their pregnancy because of that. Were you on drugs during that time as well? did your sm or family know this? She is fixed on your past, she needs to see and hear all the good stuff , all the change you have made. In the end, ifyou truly value you relationship with her, i think baby steps are in order, the way i did with my SM. I liked my sm alot. I was hurt to tears for many years by her when she turned around and also said hurtful things like you are going through. Though i never did drugs i was a loner and aggressive etc..etc..Misunderstandings did occcur between me and her and as i said it tooks years to rekindle a relationship. My advice to you is to not let this consume you. i think speaking to both your dad and her will help. Sure, you had a kids she doens't agree with , its wont make your daughter disappear. She is a woman has to accept that but you daughter should not be punished for your 'poor' judgement. i think that is very important for you to convey this to JR. Basically saying, yes i F up in the past, but my daugther should not be crucified for my wrong doings and solo parenting. Maybe you sm does have an issue being called grandma...dont knw..But you both need a break from one another and you both need to take baby step to rekindle a relationship, IF that is what you want. You could also cut her off....but are you will to also cut your brothers off...and your daughter from her grandfather? You cannot force JR to love your daughter. That is her own issue here. BUT dont expose your daughter unsupervised anymore there if she shows little concern for her either. Visit as a family but for the meantime, dont leave your daughter for those one day breaks for yourself. Depend on someone else now until things can be resolved. And nivea, i know how you feel about father's lack of involvment...my father first marriage with 1st sm was very much like that....marry a woman to 'raise ' me but he had no concern of me...And we had a family meeting and he admitted that he married to have someone for his kids. We told him our mother is long gone and he should marry someone for himself. So..second marriage was MUCH better....i've had my ups and downs with her but now having my own family i see i have more respect and understanding with her position and we've rekindled a friendship.