those are some great looking blooms!

That rose is a most wonderful shade of pink. I must look into this one. Thanks for the treat!

Juliet

Oh, my goodness, Karen, that is so magnificent! Those pinks are cascading! Your Pinkie is beautiful!

Karen, I must show your picture to my Cl. Pinkie. My flowers have five or six petals at most (it is a young rose) and yours are amazingly full, and the color is so rich. Truly wonderful.

Ingrid

Perfect!

I am glad you all like the photo ! I didn't post it before as I couldn't think which rose it actually was, and then the other day I though ' Of course, it's Pinkie !' But maybe I do have it wrong. No I hav got it right. Here is some more photos.

looking messy.

Looking tidy.

Oh, what a beauty! Did you order it from a catalog or purchase it locally? Pinky is the name of it?

Gorgeous tidy photo Karen, but I tell you if my pink Aromatherapy ever got massive sprays like your "messy" version, I'd be one happy dancing camper as well! LOL, LOL! Amazing and beautiful!

Ms Karen
What a way to say hello such an Outstanding rose, but then all of your roses are outstanding. Boy if I had all that space that you have I would kill myself planting roses.HA HA
I hope Mr Ray is doing well he's always in my prayers. I had left a message for you on Rose Exchange. Keep those Beautiful roses coming we need them to help us get through the Winter. LOL LOL
Harold

Lovely ~ my weakness is pink roses.

Well I am glad you liked my Pinkie, beause I really enjoyed all your wonderful comments. Thankyou.
This Pinkie ( that is the right spelling )is actually three ownroot plants of Pinkie that had been moved twice but they kept on growing. I have a arch near it now so it will be able to grow up high too.
Harold I looked for your message on Rose Exchange but I couldn't find it. Where did you leave it on there ? thankyou Harold for yor prayers for him. In four days we will know how much the tratment has helped.
Here are some photos I took at the Paramatta Gardens, some of them I have already posted on the Antique Forum.

Albertine and R Brunonii growing together.

Will have to tell you the name latter. I have forgotten

Ms Karen
On all other web site I go by the name of kidrose. I can't use it here someone already has that name. Look for the post in Gallery. LOL
Harold

Okay Kidrose !
The rose above sounds something like Paestrum et Rival. I tried looking for it again on Antique forum but couldn't, it must be on one of the pages missing.

Gros Choux d' Holland

La Reine Victoria

La Reine Victoria bush.

Mutabulis

Mutabulis bush
Paramatta gardens, showing bushes of Mutabulis.

Karen, we are keeping our prayers for Ray!!! Tuesday is his CT scan so will you hear by next week? I am hoping that Ray's Thursday chemo will also be very highly effective with that doctor's special treatments! Many hugs to you, Ray and the girls! Keep us all posted on how Ray is doing!

Harold, keep those Adele pies coming, LOL! we so enjoy drooling over them too! Maybe the pies will keep Ray's appetite up too! LOL! hope Ray is now able to eat much better, and that some of his throat's soreness is much improving...

Serena, and everyone, we find out the results of the CT scan at 2.00 P.M. tomorrow ( Thursday ). So I better get to bed. He is not having anymore Chemotherapy tomorrow, that was finnished 6 weeks ago.

How difficult for you, but waiting is so hard. Good, good luck.

I adore your roses!!! Reinve V. looks ethereal - so nicely lit up!!

My thoughts were drool, gah and ohmygoodness!!! Thanks for the rush of pinkness!!

I'll be checking back later to hear the results. Hugs.
Carol

Thankyou Carol, I am so glad you liked my photos.

The very, very good news is that the Doctor said the cancer is shriveled up and looking how it should at this stage. In four months Ray will get just a Xray and in about 8 months I think he will have a CT scan again. If he gets sick during that time he is to let them know. The breathlessness and the dissyness he is still experincing is normal the doctor said.
So you would think after that fantastic news last night would have been a great celebaration. But things developed into a argument between my partner, my older girls and myself. And I was really thinking our relationship had to be ended if I am to do the right thing for my daughters.
They need a loving and positive enviroment for them to finnish growing up in which Ray is not providing. Ray has given us so much in our living standards because of his labour and intelligence over the time we have been together but where there should be a bond that has developed, there is none and no respect between them.
Ray and I have lost respect for each other too. But this is Ray's home now because we have our beautiful 2 and a half year old to share and he has given so much to help us. Ray is the absolute greatest Dad to Corrinne and she loves him dearly.
So my girls have agreed to give Ray another go, we have to live together here but we can stay in seperate spaces. Luckily we have a two storey barn house and the girls stay with their real Dad on most weekends and we share the holidays. I have said we must do this before and we do, but there are still times we are altogether, which you would think would be a good thing.
I will no longer allow Ray to say negative things about the girls, whether they are with us or we are on our own. He wants them to be hard working, never lazy, slim active children with no views of their own. Maybe if they were the first two he would encourage their views. But instead he is making very negative remarks about their weight and their ability, their future,he has no good remarks for their very good grades at school and he thinks school is a holiday for them.
Last night it was awlful because of the fight, but I actully ended up spending quality time with my daughters and got to know them better ( I spend to much time with the roses and on the computer ) They are smart, beautiful kids and I am very proud of them and excitted for their future.
I was posting last night to let you know about what we found out at the doctors, I was using my daughter's laptop for the first time so I could be upstairs with them late into the night ( it is the school holidays now ) but I ended up loosing my post because the computer shut down and I was so tired by then I gave up trying.
The other really good news I have is that we got 6mls of rain last night and it is raining again today. We so badly need water in our tanks, and for my garden, paddocks and starting to fill up our water holes and dam.
I am going to copy this post so I can post in in the Antiques section and Rose conversations as I have friends in each forum who have been my listening friends. I am really sorry if I shouldn't be posting here about my family problems but I really appreciate help and prayes from you all, my fellow roserians.

Many, many hugs, Karen! I am both very happy and also very, very! sad about the scramble of great news and horrid news. Karen, I do hope that you and the girls will give Ray a chance. Cancer and very serious sickness can make people very cranky, mean and very unpleasant to be around--it happens all the time, many ferocious fierce arguments, lack of respect, etc., and sick people will lash out especially when they feel that their emotional needs and fears are not being met. This happened to my parents' friends-tons of ferocious arguments both stuck in their patterns of behavior, stubborness willfulness, and even though the wife eventually died of Lou Gherig's disease they still had the history and the bond of closeness and family. But bonds have to be constantly revived or they shrivel up. Karen, this is a critical time when you must slow down on the roses. You already have such a gorgeous incredible garden, and roses are hardy survivors. It means stopping from getting more roses and expanding that garden, and instead, rebuilding your relationship with Ray. I hate to say this, but roses are never ever! as important as family, relationships, or even one's own pet. Real life-people are far more precious, and far more important. Counseling is a very viable alternative to try to negotiate things, the sooner the better. Karen, I know just a tiny bit about rose addiction, because I spend gobs of time online or taking photos, or emailing to my rosey friends but I don't spend enough critical time with learning web design, because I get very, very!!! depressed about not being able to do 3D animation anymore because of the economy-- the loss of my dream job as a 3D animator was devastating, but instead of facing the psychological pain and the challenges/headaches of learning new difficult advanced web design programming that changed since 3 years ago when I last did web design (in order to find a new job), I obsess over roses instead. Thank goodness I have so few roses, LOL! Roses can actually be a very unhealthy, psychological issue. It could be you are running from whatever insecurities, unhappiness you have by replacing them with the roses and Ray feels neglected because of your time with the roses. Cancer is a huge and very frightening thing and he needs that emotional support but you are gardening instead or attending your friends garden get-togethers. But yes, his lack of respect for the girls' weight is horrendous. In the long term though, weight can actually really influence a girl's self-esteem, we live in a superficial society in which slim and pretty always wins the job, the popularity, and the success, there have been research on this too, which is horrid but true. I think Ray might have a conflicting issue in which he is jealous of their successes and bitter perhaps of any lost opportunities he had(great grades/potential/and new opportunities) and concerned about their gaining too much weight. Once excess weight is gained they say, it becomes near impossible to control. I have seen girls who have great difficulty controlling their weight and have very unhealthy attitudes about food- crash dieting, yoyo dieting, constantly obsessed with food all that and it continues to haunt them for the rest of their life. It is a balance of young girls accepting their natural body type (if they're naturally plump, it's wonderful and what the Good Lord intended and they are Beautiful in His Eyes) but they also need to have good eating habits as well and going for simple walks, biking, being out in nature, getting fresh air. The girls thankfully look very happy (from their photos) and seem very well adjusted. Children adjust very, very easily. Adults don't. That is what is the key element here. Adults need counseling to look inside themselves and force themselves to face underlying issues. I have read many wonderful books on trying to live a productive, meaningful life, but because I have a learning disability it is hard for me to see the wide scope and prioritize. Those books all say the same thing. You have to divide and balance your time and schedule out, put limits on where you are unbalanced in the usage of your time. Make a circle. Divide it into a pie and really look honestly at how much time you are spending in each area of your life. You have to keep track of this. A balanced pie always involves one's family. Family is crucial. Corrinne is both yours and Ray's child so we have to be sure everyone gets their fair share. Perhaps there is a hobby that Ray and your older girls both enjoy. This is the time when they must do so. When Ray gets well enough, he needs to have a little lunch outing, just he and one of your older girls and alternate between them, to find some bonding time. Or maybe go to a movie. That sort of thing. A family counselor can try to get the entire family involved. Karen, I will really be praying for you and your entire family. I think there are many other issues that cannot be discussed here because I don't know your entire situation, but what I do know is that there is hope and that you need support too. There are several sides of the story, you, Ray, Corrinne, Rhiannon, and Kathleen, that's why counseling is so important now so that everyone's story and needs are heard and met....Many hugs and prayers...

Ms Karen
I can't put into words what my heart is feeling for you and yours. But I can lift you up with my Prayers knowing that God can bring peace and guidance into your life.LOL LOL
Harold

Thakyou Serena and Harold, for all your wisedom and caring. Thanks for telling me what you have heard about the emotions of people that have Cancer. My freind told me this happens, its just hard to avoid somtimes
Things were all right today, and the girls will be going to their grandparents ( their father's parents ) on Monday for two weeks. Then I will pick them up and take them to my parent's place for week. So this will give Ray a break of the girls for a few weeks and then of me for a week. He doesn't like long trips and doesn't like the coast much. My parents live in a town right beside the ocean. I will post some photos of it after we come back.
Ray has bought a small campervan so we will be able to do short trips away too over the Summer holidays.
I truely can't stop planting more roses or other plants each winter, but I surely won't be getting the amount I got this year. I want to make the best of the rest of my life, too. I hope this doesn't sound too selfish. Hopefully we will still have our bonding times but I can't stop being who I am.
I have got to bed, I am so tired.

Thakyou Serena and Harold, for all your wisedom and caring. Thanks for telling me what you have heard about the emotions of people that have Cancer. My freind told me this happens, its just hard to avoid somtimes
Things were all right today, and the girls will be going to their grandparents ( their father's parents ) on Monday for two weeks. Then I will pick them up and take them to my parent's place for week. So this will give Ray a break of the girls for a few weeks and then of me for a week. He doesn't like long trips and doesn't like the coast much. My parents live in a town right beside the ocean. I will post some photos of it after we come back.
Ray has bought a small campervan so we will be able to do short trips away too over the Summer holidays.
I truely can't stop planting more roses or other plants each winter, but I surely won't be getting the amount I got this year. I want to make the best of the rest of my life, too. I hope this doesn't sound too selfish. Hopefully we will still have our bonding times but I can't stop being who I am.
I have got to bed, I am so tired.

Karen,

i have one question: have you sat down with Ray and asked him why these certain problems exist with your relationship and with your older girls?
i think that would be a good first step.
our prayers go out to you in hopes you find peace for your sad situation.

JIM

Hi Jim, thinks are good now. So I am sorry if I should have kept it all to myself, especially as this is a really such a thing about nothing. But it seemed so serious the other night. It still is, but I think we undrstand each other now. We just have to stay clear of such a ugly situation happenig again, I believe we can do that now.
Ray realizes now I won't take him saying negative things. He can have his own opinion about my girls and I, but he is to keep them to himself now. Or else. Thats not being cruel, that is just knowing you have got to stick to the rules. My older daughters are mine, and my exs, to raise as Ray had his to raise years ago. If he had always been careful with how he talked to them and the girls got on good with him, then he would more a part of the raising. He does so much here for us, but that doesn't mean he is the boss of what goes on with the girls. I am adamnent about that now. the last argument made me realise that.
Ray was completely against ny middle daughter going to the OC class because of it being wear and tear on the car, future work on the car while he will have to do while he isn't well, the expense of petrol, etc, etc, and he was very cranky I tried to talk her into going. He thought she should stay in the school she was already in.
Councilling wouldn't help, Serena, as the girls and I have made our rules and we are not going to try doing what a councilor tells us we should do. But the girls have been very respectful to Ray while he has left them alone. And I will really encourage them to do what they can. Other people and the school reports tell me that my girls are very lovely girls, although my middle daughter can have a very bad temper at times. I have been to alot of coucilling before with my ex, it didn't help too much as we were too stubborn or set in our ways of thinking.
Serena, I am sorry I didn't answer your post properly last night, but I was very tired from the late night before. All you said is very right, thankyou for spening so much time and thought into your post. Ray had deslexia at school and didn't learn to read properly, even though he is very clever and capable mechanically etc. He doesn't think much of education but thinks commonsense is more important. He would like to see the girls out doing things outside, instead of watching telrvision or on the computer. I say they have been at school all day and now this is their time to relax. He doesn't believe this and says school is a holiday for them. We are both stubborn in our views. And I believe they will do what they need to as
they grow up and for their children just as I do for them now. Ray's bitterness comes from his hatred of laziness, dislike of over eating, because of his cancer and the beer must ( which I am pleased he can drink again ) have made just things even more from the wrong perspective.
We are having a early Christmas because my girls are going away with their Dad soon. Anyway I looked out to see what Ray is doing with the tractor because lunch is ready, and there he is building a small dam down in the holding paddock. A complete surprise to me and really like a early Christmas present. So now Corrinne is asleep and I have posted this message I am going down again to see how he is going. Of course we won't split up, but another reason I suggested it is because I want him to be happy as somtimes he says how you are better off in town as a property is so much work or how it is so easy to get what you want when you want when you live in a bigger town. I would have visited him every weekend , like I use to, if it had come to that. I think I will never leave here unless my roses all died.
I am sensitive to making negative remarkds against the girls weights, as I was Bulemic for a short time in my early twenties. The way I got out of it was to decide to eat whatever I wanted and not to worry. I have never been slender but I have never been too overweight. Though I am getting heavier now - middle age spread ! I have told Ray about my worries his remarks could affect my daughter's confidences in their selves, but he still come out with his over weight remarks.
Serena, I neglect my garden and my working dogs so I can get on the computer ( better add children, partner and house work to that too ), but I do enough I think when I am not on the computer so they are all comming along well. So I think that circle is divided pretty evenly. Ray has to be satisfied what I give, because what I do give my very own way of loving my partner, as well as having my own hobbies. Ray use to say it is healthy for each partner to have there own space. One thing aginst us is that he doesn't have his own licence for a long time through some very bad luck and alot un fairness, if anyone should have a license or deserve to drive a car, it is Ray. So he has to rely om me to drive him anywhere, instead of going when he wants to go. So this place becomes a bit of a prison, eventhough when he was living in town he always wanted me to come get him as he got bored there when he had no work on. He is a very hard worker.
Thankyou for sticking up for Ray, as well as for me. I hope you can see I am sticking up for him too. Love and hate is very close isn't it ? Serena, thankyou for telling me about your parent's friends
Serena, you will get to your computer studies too. I know you have been such a friend to your friends here and to me, that you will do well in whatever you go for in your life.
I will post you a photo of the dam when it is finnished, and hopefully when it is full !

karen, great to hear things have calmed down.
god bless and post pics of the dam when it is done.

JIM

I will Jim. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas !
How is your shoulder and arm now ?

Dearest Karen, I am just so concerned about you, Ray and the children. I remember the times you wrote about how Ray had built your beautiful house for you and the children from the grounds-up, how you too spent hours making the long drive back & forth to Sydney for Ray, and how Ray wanted so much to be home with you and the family in spite of the terrible pain, weakness and fatigue it would take to endure the 16 hour drive back and forth each weekend instead of staying at the hospital like all seriously ill patients would. And the fact that Ray is building that dam for you to me is the evidence that he still loves you deeply-a man's way of saying it. Karen, I think that there is that bond between you and Ray, but the stress of illness especially hurts a man because many men have difficulties expressing their fears and hurt and anger-- a sick partner needs to feel needed. All men need to feel needed, appreciated, and wanted for the relationship to work. Karen, I can promise you that absolutely no relationship can last with the amount of time you are now spending with the roses; a man such as my James would have left long, long ago. Time together is crucial for bonding and intimacy. The more time you are away at the rose societies and the non-local shows that you have told me about, the greater the strain in a marriage. You see a few people here may have a few hundred roses but they do not have the thousands or the huge spread of land that you have--acres and acres to take care of, plus! you also have that additional greenhouse where you have other young seedlings and cuttings cultivated at. All this is draining away all your time. The only people who have thousands of roses like you are longtime nursery owners and they have hired help. You belong to 3 American forums and HMF, and then there is the Australian forum. I can't stress how important it is for you to start remembering the good times and the efforts that you and Ray made together in the past and in raising Corrinne. Karen I must share with you how dangerous addictions can be. I have had a very serious addiction to workaholism. Because of my learning disability I had to work 20x harder than anyone else to finish my homework but I demanded perfection and demanded to do really outstanding at school as well--and I had to check my work over and over again to make sure I wasn't making mistakes, I had terrible social skills and communication skills, and all this led to serious self-esteem issues. I could only feel happy when I was working and when I did well at school and at work. And if neither went exactly as I demanded I was absolutely crushed and depressed. Work and excelling was the only thing that made me happy because I had such bad self esteem. Workaholism, like any addiction, will destroy relationships. It was not until my learning disability was diagnosed that I suddenly realized what I must do to change harmful patterns of behavior and compulsions to overdo, over-obsess, over-worry and basically work myself to death. Counseling is so important for those like us who have addictions, whether it is roses or workaholism, drug addictions, we need an objective support system to keep us on the right path. I have to constantly dedicate time to take care of and sort out my own inner issues. There is a wonderful book called Just Enough and about being content with what we have so that we can enjoy fulfilling lives to our family and to society. Karen, you have one of the most beautiful gardens already. You don't need any more roses for the next 2 years. But to do such a drastic cutdown would be too much of a shock for someone like yourself, so I would say try limiting yourself to 10 last roses for this year, one rose society meeting per month, meeting with one rose friend once every 2 weeks, and visiting an outside garden about once a month, ONLY IF YOU AND RAY are able to spend at least one special outing in the week together, just you and Ray. It is important that you and Ray have alone time. Every night you need to have a quiet time together, when the kids are asleep--instead of being online, spend that time with Ray. Maybe you can read a favorite thriller novel to each other before going to sleep. The time with Ray must be totally separate from the garden and separate from the roses. It could be going camping, going sailing.. Karen a counselor can try to help you come up with creative ideas to bring back magic into your relationship.

But it's not just a matter of magic but of time! Not spending time with one's partner is a way of saying that you don't love them anymore and there is only so much rejection and hurt a partner can take. Please don't take that week apart from Ray. The moment you are dropping off the girls' to your parents' house is one of the few special chances that you can spend that time alone with Ray. Karen that one week you have is so crucial. This is what is called the "tipping point" when you have to make a very important choice!!! Don't let this chance slip away. Ask Ray if he doesn't like the coast, then where would he like to go with you! Karen, remember, critical sickness can change one's mind. I have heard of people who never appreciated the outdoors until they got deathly ill, then all of a sudden, sunsets seemed more beautiful, all that, one never knows. You have to ask Ray, never-ever assume anything. ASK him! You need that time for you and Ray to have the privacy to work out and talk out your struggles and to share with each other. Do you remember our wonderful Harold? When Adele got sick, he stopped caring for the roses to take care of her. You need to take care of Ray, just as Ray needs to take care of you as a mother to your older daughters. Remember this is about mutual support and chances to rebuild damaged relationships and finding common grounds. Karen on a happier lighter subject had I the brains I would have loved to have been an architectural engineer. Perhaps if I had been younger and had my learning disability diagnosed when I was a child I could have taken this up. If Ray loves building things and one of your older daughter's has the interest, maybe they can share learning mechanics and putting things together, that sort of stuff. Karen we are all Children of the Good Lord. We are here in this life to learn and grow and change. You say counseling will never work, but sometimes the addiction is too great to overcome on one's own. I am hoping that the prayers of Jim and Harold and everyone who is reading and seeing your struggles in your other forums will help pray that prayer of hope between you and Ray...Much love to you Karen, I am really praying hard that the Good Lord will bring healing for you both and that Ray can be that wonderful Dad to your older girls that he can be. All it takes is just one step, one step at a time. Don't let this chance slip away, Karen. All it takes is that one step. Please take that week to be with Ray...Many hugs, love and deep concern/sadness, Serena

Serena, I am really sorry I have put my worry onto you. As I am no longer worried myself.
Just a few things I want to clear up so you don't think me harsh. Ray moved here a while after our barn shed/house was erected by proffessionals in 3 days. But he was comming out to visit to make the house more livable. He built our beautiful sunroom in the upstairs balcony and did the flooring and linning upstairs so the girls could have the rooms there. He has done fencing, slashing, levelling with a tractor the big molds of dirt left from the people that made the foundation for the concrete slab for the house, digging by hand our spring, repairing Law mowers all the time, all mechanical work since we have been together, build a very stong double carport, and the list probably goes on much more.
I don't go to many rose meetings, the last one was a one of a kind eventhough I had been excitted on the day thinking I could try to travel on the train to future meetings but the train didn't run at the right time for me to get down and back in good time. When I am older I will do it.
I did make a rose trip to visit Forum friends about 1 year and a half or more ago. I did visit rose friends on my trips to pick up Ray when he was in Sydney. I will visit a roserian friend that is teaching me to bud, when I pick the girls up from inlaw grandparents.
I do really want to visit a good rose friend that is about 2 and a half hours from here, in Autumn ( around April ), which I keep putting off. I don't visit Lynette over Summer, but we speak on the phone.
I have up to about 8 hundred roses, but that is a guess and one day soon I will count them. The garden is certainly not that much to look at because it is all roses, but one day I am counting on that it will. Or it looks alright at certain times of the year.
The reason Ray came home every weekend from Sydney is because he hated being down there because he was very bored in between treatments. Also he missed his little daughter.
My father was put on a life surport late last year, from a stroke and fluid in his lungs. He has made a full recovery now but it still makes you realise you definitely don't miss out on your visits with your parents. We go once a year, roughly, to visit my parents and this gives us a beach holiday too.
Ray misses us when we go but it gives him a week free to have the house and televisions to him self, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. He doesn't like to leave our place un attended. I keep in contact with our free 3 minunte number between us.
We will have the two weeks before for Ray, Corrinne and I to just be together and we can do some outtings.
Ray complains about the place here but he also loves it. It is a pretty and pleaceful place in the mornings and afternoons.
I actually do neglect my roses too, and I am just doing enough to keep them looked after enough so they will take off when we get good rains for some seasons. I don't have hardly a thing in eigther the hot house or the shade house, I wanted to concentrate on my outside roses this year.
Don't worry anymore Serena, and I am sorry I have wasted your time. God bless you too, and many hugs to you !

karen,

i get my cast off on janurary 14th! yipeeeeeee! lol
merry christmas karen & family!

JIM

forgot to mention;

karen & serena,

you two can sure write some long paragraphs. lol
might take me awhile to read them. lol
glad things settled down!

JIM

Karen, I am so relieved that you are spending 2 weeks with Ray and Corrinne, when I did some counting I thought it was originally 2 weeks you were going to spend with the girls away from Ray (dropping them at your ex's parent's home) and doing more rose visits in the area, and another additional week that you were going to spend at your parents house which would mean 3 weeks away from Ray. That was such a huge worry for me! I thought, oh no, 3 weeks! So I rushed out my email because you'd be leaving on Monday (tomorrow)...

Karen, with the spread of land you have the roses look fantastic, but by waiting you can dedicate ideal time to them. I am thinking that those known 800 are what you have already started and so many of them are really large and the young ones are really going to take off very very soon. By waiting a few years, you in effect won't need to neglect the garden. It's just slowing down and being sure everything has a few years to stabilize and to work out things step-by-step between you and Ray. Karen, everything takes time-- those 800 roses that you have will keep getting larger and larger, I still remember this gorgeous unforgettable photo of the tea rose in your garden with Corrinne and the Kelpie in the distant background...

Karen, life always fluctuates and everything is related, distant issues always have a way of re-surfacing. I had guessed that there were insecurities from Ray about the girl's schooling and sure enough there was Ray's struggle with dyslexia, which explains why he doesn't drive, for a man not driving, they don't feel good about this either and there are insecurity issues when you are away from him. So you want to take time to really work on the relationship throughout. Also children are wonderful but no child is perfect either. Discussions about children should always be done in private between you and Ray, never in front of the child until an agreement is reached between you and he so that everyone has a united front on how to deal with the issues at hand. And as you say, Ray is never ever to be critical or mean toward them. I hope that you, Ray and all 3 of your children will have the chance to re-bond and re-pair everything...
Jim and Harold thank you so much for the prayers for Karen, and Karen, you can never ever waste any of our time. We all care so much about what's happening in your life and also what is happening with Ray and the cancer. I have so much hope now, and I'm sorry if I have over-worried and went overboard in my worries. But I do know from my own personal life that when I have previous life issues I have to keep working on those issues. It's part of being able to grow and recover and heal. Problems never magically disappear. I have always had to keep working through and thinking through what happens in my life. I just was so concerned about when you had also mentioned about your former husband's problem with the roses and was worried that again, things were going down the same path. So please forgive me. One last thought, Ray has to be very careful about alcohol. When one has to undergo chemotherapy, it is very hard on the kidneys, the liver the entire body because the alcohol has to be processed. Here is a link on it which also talks about the throat and the alcohol (I know Ray has had a really tough time swallowing after the radiation treatment).

interview with Colleen Doyle, Director of Nutrition for the American Cancer Society

Many hugs, blessings, Karen! I am sure that the Good Lord will help out and help everyone, me included, LOL! And hugs to you Jim and Harold for your special prayers!

Dear Serena, how are you going with all the snow you have been having ? Jim and Harold ? If you haven't got tired of this non rose subject.
My ex is taking the girls down to his parents and then I will pick them up.
It wasn't because of deslexia my partner doesn't have a licence still, but thats a long story as also why I broke up with my ex. There was alot of other things that come into it other than my rose growing. I was just generalizing.
I read the article and told Ray about it. But his doctor actually said about his beer drinking, that this can actually settle the stomach while they are going through there treatment. Ray couldn't drink during his treatment, it didn't taste right. The other patients were not discouraged from drinking while socialising while at the Cancer centre, and when we saw the Doctor the other day he never warned Ray not to drink beer. Ray says it soothes his throat, he has given up his smoking and he is not going to give up his beer too.
As for me. I don't smoke or drink. I can't think of anything worse, although I did try beer once and got drunk and sick. Juice or milk is what I drink, other than water.
I don't buy hardly any new clothes, perfering to buy secondhand as I reckon there is more choice of the clothes I like. I don't buy expensive furniture, everything here is second hand. Except for our televisions etc. So roses are what I buy and hopefully they will prove a good investment in what I am achieving to do infront of our house. Ray has to live with my passion for roses, my daughters have had to. That is who I am. He has his mechanical projects and Corrinne wanders happily between us. Ray is more of a worrier than I am about money and water. I bought this property with the aim of making a big rose garden. As well as my hobby with working dogs. Otherwise I might as well have bought in town. If my gamble with nature doesn't make me a winner of a inspiring garden, well we can sell and move into a town. I hope I am here as a old lady to wander through my mature rose garden, if not well least I had a try at it.
God Bless you all too and thankyou for your prayers.

hi karen,

sue and i are the ones getting the snow here in central Pa. we got around 6+ inches. Philedelpia Pa. which is about 150 miles east from us got 23.8 inches of snow.

Hi Jim. I hope you have plenty of wood, or whatever you use, to keep you warm.

Karen, just enjoy your time of a fantastic and peaceful Christmas and holidays. Things are going to keep working out... In Jim's, Harold and my eyes you do! have that winner of an inspiring garden already. We always ooo and ahhh over your garden and so does everyone else here. The 800 roses you have will keep getting taller and more massive. I have full confidence that this year and the next and the next are going to be amazing!. Just enjoy and relax with your family this holiday-- we are looking forward to hearing about Corrinne's excitement about the presents and all the fun excitement! I still remember her gorgeous Christmas angel photo too!

Karen we only had one snow, but it is very very cold here. About 10-12 degrees below 0. So I let Eluane exercise in the basement instead, LOL! I am such a cold weather wussy, hahaha! and once a week I drive several miles out to practice agility with Eluane.

My brother Ricky is coming over tomorrow! In our family our lunches and dinners both! are 10 course meals. We're sort of like Italians and Hispanics in that feasting and cooking is a very, very important family activity so I have to help my Mom tons with that. 10 courses are the minimum that we have and usually it's more than that, haha!

P.S. do you remember how you, Jim and Harold kept prayers for me with the horrid car accident? Well it all worked out. I was able to get a decent price for my destroyed car, and although my car insurance at first tried their hardest to find an excuse to raise my rates, it all worked out thanks to the police report and what the witnesses originally wrote out and everyone's prayers I'm sure...I have a very lovely new car which my brother and parents also helped me out with...I actually got itright around Thanksgiving. Again all the things to be grateful for at the close of this season--for you! Jim and Harold's kind and caring thoughts!

Serena, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too, with Ricky, you mother, the rest of your family, and James too.
You must be a good cook, ( except for popcorn, lol ! We had the same thing happen to us ), helping your mum with ten dishes.
I am glad you have a car now. How does Eluane like going in your new car ? My young Kelpies are becoming good sheepdogs. One day I will get around to taking some footage of them working. Originally I had meant I would post a copy of my late Kelpie dog Laura working, one day I will get around to it. Please be patient with me.
I am going to start a new thread now and let this one go.