I don't believe you can leave random feedback on a seller (or buyer), you have to have purchased (or sold) something. Now I suppose I could sell stuff to my friends or create fictitious accounts and write the feedback myself. Of course, you'd be paying eBay a fee for everyone one of those transactions and I have to believe that their security folks might watch for that kind of stuff. I haven't bought or sold much on eBay but what I have has been a positive experience. A few years back I was doing some Internet work for a used car dealer. A customer had mentioned that they had seen the vehicle on eBay. News to us since we didn't use eBay at the time but sure enough someone had "borrowed" the pictures and description of the vehicle from the dealership's website and actually SOLD the vehicle on eBay. I frantically tried to find a customer service phone number for eBay so that they could contact the buyer before he sent any money. Unfortunately, eBay doesn't seem to have a phone number. I sent off an email and then tried to inquire what had happened but eBay would only tell me that the matter was under investigation. The interesting part is that the vehicle was reasonably worth about $16,000 but it had sold on eBay for $9,000. When something seems to good to be true...

Nothing. THEY are having an issue. E-mail technical support and tell them what is going on. You will find the link at the bottom of this page. Scroll down tot he Green box. Look to the right--see the link that says "contact us?" click on it. That will take you to to page that says "Mailing Garden Web." You will find an e-mail form. In the form there is a line that says "Nature of Message"--with a pull down arrow. Scroll down until you find the topic "Technical difficulties with our site." Highlight it--and then tell the admins what the issue is. I went through all the steps, because it's not very intuitive. (At least I don't thinks so!) This is also the form you can use to reprt abuse of the site, such as someone who is OBVIOUSLY using the site for advertising, or a blatalnly political posting--that sort of thing. melanie

"To make a short story long :) my point is this thread has been to identify my personal responsibility in this situation. Have I contributed to the negativity? Was I showing condescension in the email without realizing it? What are my obligations to stay in contact with my sister? Have I been insensitive? Have I been TOO sensitive? In other words, is there any chance that changing myself would make it possible for me to have a harmonious relationship with her?" This implies that you still think her reactions are based substantially on your actions -- which, in a typical relationship, they would be. Normal people interact. So normally, there's reciprocity, a give and take. Kindness is met with kindness, hostility with hostility. Conversations meander down a natural path directed more or less equally by both people. But narcissists don't work that way. They have their own agendas and scripts based on their own needs, and if you don't follow their scripts, you are 'breaking their rules' and will always be punished - get a negative response. Narcissists use other people to meet their own needs, and the number one rule for dealing with a narcissist is this simple: If you aren't useful (as a source for whatever the narcissist needs), you are useless! (with all the scorn that word implies) "I accept that she is that way and try to refrain from making judgments. I simply separate myself from the situation since it serves no good purpose to remain engaged." Perfect! Just remove yourself emotionally from the interaction. Pleasant but superficial responses are generally safe. Some benign flattery every so often. But no soul-searching conversations, no striving for a deeper emotional connection, no revealing of sisterly secrets...

Laure, I just emailed you again, I also updated my profile to accept emails, for some reason that was turned off. Thanks again! Tina