I have a LOT of stalled maples right now that are just starting to move with the coming of some recent warm weather. We had a week of temps in the 80s & low 90s in early - mid March that got my deciduous stuff pushing so hard I had to take a week off to do repots. After the repots were done, it turned cold again and everything just sat there until this past week when we finally got some warmer nights & days in the 60s. Remember you're on tree time and that they're reactive organisms. Over-watering usually results in a typical drought response, which includes burned leaf edges. Frankly, over-watering isn't going to affect first flush much anyway. If you pruned off a few branches & stuck them in water, you'd still get good leaf-out. The energy leaves use for that first push is stored as starch/carbohydrates at the base of the buds. All that's needed for branches to push the spring flush is water & temps warm enough for growth, which can actually be accomplished absent the roots. I'm not saying over-watering is nothing to be concerned about - it is. It's a significant issue for containerized trees and should be avoided. I just don't think it's responsible for the stalled growth. Al

Silver Quite interesting reading. I have thought about EX and how he must feel about DD, or any woman that has been in his life. I do understand the conceptual thinking behind the term "limerance". I had a man that I felt that way about once. I never told him, figuring that if he felt anything for me he would approach me. There were a few mixed signals, I thought but he never made an attempt that was something that I knew for sure showed he was interested in me. He had enough chances to do that and he didn't. He thought of me as a friend or sister I guess. Or he would have gone for a little "roll in the hay" if I would have. He even introduced me to a girlfriend that he began dating and ended up getting her pregnant and they later married. Ouch! With EX's past ( if what he has said is true ) he undoubtedly has great fear of rejection. Again, if what he says is true, he wanted my DD to stay with him, build a future with him and he wanted a family with us. There are too many things though that are negatives to the success of their relationship that he is completely out of touch with which makes me think that he has a break with normal thought processes. This is evident with other actions...his extensive lying and his criminal behavior. My DD did not want to marry or have children ( my goodness, she is only 20 ) and he did. Very much in fact. I don't know that she will ever change her mind but he had said that he would rather have had her and no kids than to not have her at all. I don't know that it would have been something he could have easily lived with though. The age difference is something that was too vast....11 years...when dealing with her age group. Had they met when she was in her 30's or 40's or older then it would not have been as big a deal. I am sorry for him when it comes to honest, heartfelt feelings that he might have had for my DD. The fact that he could install such fear ( and continues to do so ) and the fact that he has told so many lies negates all of that though. It sucks to be rejected. Our family histories have a lot to do with whether or not we can process the rejection in a healthy way. Most of us have been and some of us have stepped over a line while dealing with it that we cringe at after having healed a bit. It is important to teach our kids that when they deal with peers or a romantic interest people have a right to reject them. In the long run it is for the best. I don't know how much EX has control over when it comes to his emotions about the breakup. I am sorry that I can't talk to him. It just can't happen. I want him to get help and to go onto have a happy life. More importantly though I want him to leave my DD alone and let her move on. Thanks for the thread and the link Silversword.

There're 3 unreasonable & obnoxious things going on here, & 1 of them is downright scary. #1: Your house rules say that once a child moves out, that child has well & truly moved out. However, the rule is being applied to only one. Yours. #2 You missed an opportunity to stand up to him when he ran your daughter off. (Can you imagine how your daughter feels?) #3 Your husband ran *your* daughter off, & now you're taking a back seat to *his* daughter & whatever she dishes out, & your husband is mad at you for being unhappy about it *& he isn't backing you up, & he isn't listening to you, & he is not acting like a partner*. The first thing an abuser does is isolate a victim from family & friends. You no longer have your own daughter living with you, & you're under the control of this man & his daughter. Your husband is the only one who can change things, & he's happy with everything but your "complaints". Women believe words, & men believe actions. If the situation is intolerable, you have to make it *his* problem rather than just objecting, no matter how well-founded your objections are. I my own self would change the locks & file for divorce, but I don't know your financial situation. If you cannot bring yourself to do that, you might just disengage- no meals, no laundry, no cleaning, no keeping either of them company. leave the house every week-end. I wish you the best.

Years ago a painter recommended a product called Dirtex to me. It's great for painted surfaces and doesn't need to be rinsed. It can also be used on some types of floors. I use the powder for cleaning walls, etc. as it's very economical.