Remember that people in that age bracket have probably been faced with looking at the fact that they are, in a sense, living on borrowed time. They often feel that The End can happen at any time, in any way. They have seen too many of their friends die or end up so fragile that they can't take care of themselves. It's hard for him to ignore what life has already taught him. It sounds as if he has made up his mind that this is it for her and he's preparing himself for the end. The elderly think differently about such things. He has to understand that she NEEDS to see him, that she is worried about HIM and needs his support. You are going to have to convince him that IF she were to get pneumonia (the usual death causing problem) it would have already happened. Now the important thing is to get her moving as much as possible. That's going to be his job! She will need his encouragement to do the best with her rehab program.

Hi, Kay. Yes, she is going through all of the paperwork, and she is getting a bit overwhelmed. My dad left everything to her, and my sister-in-law, who is an accountant, is the executor of the will. She is doing most of the work, but they are waiting on the official death certificate before the house can be put in my mom's name. She can't sell until that is done. She also has to get rid of the car, since she doesn't drive, but one of my brothers needs a trade-in, and he is going to buy the car from her ( at a fair market price, of course). My dad did have his affairs in order, and all of the investments were in my mom's name anyhow, so she doesn't have too much to do. Right now she is slowly going through the house getting rid of things she won't need in an apartment. They lived in the same place for 44 years, so it's quite a big job, although in recent years they did begin to clear out a lot of junk. The biggest job is already done. My dad was into model trains, and had a huge set-up in two rooms in the basement. He had literally hundreds of cars, plus little villages, etc. He kept all of the boxes, but it still took us the better part of a week to dismantle the whole thing. The trains are going to be divided up between my brothers, and my mom didn't have to do a thing. We have been very fortunate that there have been absolutely NO arguements over money or disposing of posessions. I have heard so many stories about how a death in the family can bring out the absolute worst in people, but this is not the case for us. All of my brothers and I just want our mom to have as smooth a move as possible, and to end up with as much money as she can get. She is anxious to sell, she finds there are just too many memories in the house, and she wants a fresh start. Hopefully, she can be settled in her new place before the winter weather begins.

Peacewalker Hello. It sounds similiar to my situation. My dad is gone 13 months now. He was the glue of our family. After he left I moved my mom in with me. They were married 39 years. She is still not herself. Anyway, after she moved in with me, I became very angry. here i was 35 married with 2 kids and on my own for years and now all off a sudden i was reporting to my mom. It wasnt a good thing. We all miss dad very much and it seemed to me that everytime i look at her i just remember that my dad is gone and never coming back and it hurts. My mom wont even stay in a house by herself now and I told her I cant be with her 24-7. I have a life and I am still grieving too. We faught and it seemed to me that she was walking on egg shells around me. It made us both very uncomfortable. She is now living with her sister and that seems better. I realized that my mom just doesnt want to be alone and really doesnt know how to be alone. When my mom was at my house, evertime I looked at her, all I thaught about is that my dad should be here too. Its not fair. I was mad. Well anyway its never easy to re-adjust your life after something like this happens. But in reality we still have to be there for each other. I talk to my mom daily on the phone and she comes to visit 2-3 times a week. Its hard seeing her alone. I dont know what is worse....losing a parent or watching the other parent being lonely. It all sucks. Just try to do the best you can. I dont think its really reporting to them...I think we are the only good thing left in there lives and they want to cherish every conversation they can. I cant even begin to imagine myself in my moms shoes. It has to be terrifying to realize your love of a lifetime is gone and now it only you all by yourself. Very scary thaught. Parents try to give there kids the freedom they need but I think when something like death happens.. it scares them and they just want to hold onto whatever it is that gives them comfort. And as you know, the kids are the ones who offer comfort. We are the only ones they can trust and confide in. The best advice I can give you is to take time out and call your dad. Just value what ever time you can. Someday they wont be here either. Best of luck to you.

gold, there is one that is from recently. They are working on it my DS said . So much has changed and they are trying to figure out a lot of things. It is all so exciting for them. It is the Google reviews next to the map....click there and then scroll down a little bit...titled the professor !! Thank you doonie...they are indeed hard workers ! We are leaving early in the AM. texan you sure would DS is a great chef...and dil is really a wonderful front of the house as well as desserts. oh denali : please do and do let my DS and dIL know that you " know" me from here...they love it !! jan the camera is packed !! Will have a report next week. deedee...I loved that line too ! They don't do lunch but you stop by for dinner !!