Barker_Tx, we are in Austin, Tx and if you have any suggestions, please email me at bevangel_72(at)yahoo.com. A big problem we're having is the cost of all the facilities in Austin. MIL gets about $1100/mo social security and about $900/mo investment income. All of her money is invested in CDs however and none of those mature until next March, so even though know she needs to start spending down the principal, we'd very much like to wait to cash one out to avoid the early withdrawal penalties. In the interim, DH and I are supplementing her living expenses. But, both our jobs are currently "shaky" so we really can't afford to supplement more than about $1000/mo and even that is a MAJOR stretch. If either of us actually loses our jobs, we're going to eat through our own financial cushion very very fast! In Amarillo, MIL's social security and investment income came really close to covering her expenses and she would cash out a CD about once a year to put enough in the bank to cover the rest of her expenses for the year. The only thing we were supplementing was her medication management at about $400/mo. Moving her down here and paying the $3000 non-refundable move-in fee to the Meridian ate thru pretty much all the extra cash she had on hand. So, until next March, we're going to have to supplement every penny above about $2000/mo that it costs her to live. As for the Meridian... I have talked to the administrators until I am blue in the face. They just keep shifting their stories to cover their a**es. First they claimed that they intended for another resident who attends almost all the activities in the main area to go and get MIL and befriend her... but that that resident moved out shortly after MIL moved in. When I pointed out that 1) they never TOLD us the volunteer resident had moved out and 2) THEY were the ones who made the promise and, if they couldn't find a volunteer to fulfill the promise, they should have assigned a staff member to do it, they changed their story. They NOW claim that the only activities they EVER promised to take MIL to were the ones in the Platinum Plus wing and that, if we understood anything else, it was just a misunderstanding on our part! They won't respond to the fact that we talked repeatedly about how much MIL enjoyed playing the dominoes game called Forty-two, which was shown on the MAIN schedule 3x per week and is NEVER shown on the Platinum Plus schedule, and which they very specifically stated they would make sure she got to play. They also ignore the fact that we talked very specifically about my concern that she would get lost trying to get all the way down to the main activity room by herself and discussed the need for her to have a scooter because it was too far for her to walk. The area where they hold their once daily platinum plus activity is right around the corner from MIL's apartment. She can find her own way there quite easily and doesn't need a scooter to go that far. But, "we only said we'd get her to the Platinum Plus activities" is now their story and they are sticking to it. As for the non-events on the health center calendar: According to the administrator, the "current events" activity on the health center calendar would have happened except that the volunteer that leads current events on the weekend was unexpectedly called out of town. The "worship services" on that calendar was a reference to the worship services happening in the Platinum Plus area (as if any one living in the Health Center could POSSIBLY have made it up there since it is at least a 5 minute walk by a healthy person!) The "social hour" was a reference to the fact that, about 3PM the nurse came around and gave each resident a cookie and some cranberry juice! As for the non-events on the Main Calendar: their story now is that "our independent residents lead most of the events that are scheduled and, if they decide not to hold them, we ask them to let us know so we can revise the calendar but, if they don't, that is nothing the Meridian can do." And, as for scheduled afternoon game time that didn't happen in the Platinum Plus wing: "our staff member was there at the scheduled time to lead the activity but none of the residents showed up, so after a few minutes, she left and went to take care of other duties." As I said, they're covering their a**es! As the situation now stands, MIL is back in her apartment and we have been told that they will "remind her of all activities, including those in the main building, when they go in to give her medications." They will also tell her where the activity is happening (as if she can possibly find it on her own) and that, IF a staff member "has time", one will walk her down to occasional activities in the main building. I would bet a million bucks that no staff member will ever have time!!!! Bottom line, she will be left to vegetate in her room until we can move her out. The only reason we even looked in Temple was that Austin seemed so expensive and, as one went further out from Austin the prices seemed to drop. We figured we could afford the time and gas to drive 50 miles to/from Temple once or twice a week more easily than the prices of similar places in Austin. BAD PLAN! Obviously the staff at these places need to know that family members can and will drop in at any time of the day or night! Otherwise some of them are going to take advantage of the fact that they can pretty much lie to you with impunity. I don't want to file a lawsuit or bring other legal action against the Meridian as long as MIL is still basically in their control. No telling how they might take it out on her! Further, a legal action would probably be unavailing because all the promises were made verbally --- nothing in the written contract about them. Once MIL is out though, I intend to sic the state on them for running an unlicensed assisted living facility and also to post bad reviews at every location I can find. Meantime, we're still looking for a good situation for MIL in or near Austin that is somewhere within reach of our budget.

I really don't watch soaps, but the Bold and the Beautiful is always on during my lunch hour. It is the most RIDICULOUS show I have ever seen. It's only 1/2 hr so there's limited characters. The same story line keeps going over and over and over and people are sleeping with their step mothers and brothers, etc. etc. I cannot believe anyone really watches this show.

What a good friend! What a complicated and perilous situation, for your friend and you, to an extent. You've received some good advice here. My thought is that the original agreement signed, prepared by the attorney, will answer many questions. Again, if it was not done correctly to protect his client ("Nelly") it may present more questions. The agreement should have many safeguards; one being a bank under the auspices of the FDIC and banking regulations (vs. credit unions, etc. which are regulated but a bit differently) should have a trust officer assigned to review expenses, etc. and look out for the client's assets, I would think. I worked with trust officers in the past and they were very protective of their clients-- particularly older customers with and without family, but with significant assets. They even did "wellness checks" on clients; I accompanied them. I'd see about procuring a copy of the agreement, perhaps with Nelly's approval take it to another elder care attorney, also perhaps in conjunction with Florida elder care department if need be, and make sure that her agreement still insures her care even if it involves changes or someone else brought in to oversee that her "caretaker" acts within the bounds of the agreement as proscribed, and financially responsible with accurate accounting to a trust officer. An estate attorney can serve the same function. The key element is getting a third or even fourth party into the equation and hopefully someone who will see about her--apparently no longer Jim. Getting old is difficult enough without someone abandoning you and taking advantage of you. This wasn't a good idea to begin with, in my opinion--a tale of caution. People change. Good luck.

He doesn't reunite with Tonya. In the movie he gets a letter from her saying that they're being deported and that's the last you hear of her. He's a doctor, living alone, helped by his half-brother, when he dies on the street after seeing Lara. (In the novel he remarries.) We see Yuri and Lara's daughter (played by the amazing Rita Tushingham) at both the beginning and end of the film. She works in a factory and, crucially, plays the balalaika, which of course belonged to her father.