I can offer you up a couple of viewpoints. I grew up on a farm and I was prepared for what life about 30 minutes outside the city would be like. I was prepared for the idea of NOT being prepared for everything because I've lived hard, but I never owned a home before this one. My wife, complete city girl AND total apron-string nutcase with her mother, says she loves it but over time has proved otherwise. My step-mother, now in her 80's, also moved from the city down to the farm where I grew up. In her words, "I hated it for the first two or three years, but now I couldn't imagine going back to the city. I'd just die." Things my wife hates: - getting up extra early in case of inclement weather, accounting for that additional driving time. More often than not she stays with her parents in the city if bad weather is coming, with the result that I end up left alone, sometimes for weeks at a time in winter, and I hate this. On the other hand life in the city is poor planning AND would eventually kill my soul, so I hope for the best here. - She hates all our neighbors/friends being generally so far away. - She hates that we can't just jump up and go out to a movie without planning, or to a particular restaurant. - She hates the grocery being off a ways, but I chalk this up to poor planning and her inability to just make stops on the way home from work. - We live by a cornfield, and we have a HUGE mouse problem. On the other hand I'm learning how to get rid of the mice, but it's taking time and planning. Still, it's a pain to deal with initially. - Septic system: If you're building, then take pains to make sure you have a good system AND that you MAINTAIN it regularly to ensure long life. The former owners said they did (they SAID lots of things), but a few months into our life here the toilet didn't flush very well. Fortunately a few doses of Rid-X did the trick, and I apply regularly now. - Learning how to deal with a well. I grew up with well water, but we had a LOT of top quality water. Many wells do NOT have great water, and digging a well can be dauntingly expensive. If you plan on digging a well, make CERTAIN it's not near your septic. Also, while you may lose water in the event of a power failure, there is an alternative: Since you're digging the well anyway, have a hand-pump installed outside, for emergency use. It's not that much more expensive, and if another Hurricane Ike comes through, you'll be glad you did. Power is one thing, water is quite another. - Propane: You will obviously want to insulate your house as well as possible. Propane is NOT cheap if you use it to heat. I HIGHLY recommend having a fireplace insert installed for home heating, and I recommend researching a model which can act as a practical fireplace in the event of power loss (after all, what drives that circulating fan?) so you can still heat. As for cooking, it's great with propane or natural gas, BUT keep one thing in mind: If you lose power, you lose your oven UNLESS you get a dial-controlled oven you can light rather than an electronically-controlled oven you cannot use during a power outage. - Using your land: I have ten million ideas for what I WANT my homestead to look like, and I have tons of know-how. I lack, however, some of the simplest pieces of equipment to do the jobs I want, such as a tractor. Finding neighbors to do jobs for me isn't as easy as I'd hoped originally, so don't COUNT on it. Bearing that in mind, getting started is much, much harder than you might think (especially if you're like me and have to do it all alone). Another thing which lacks sometimes is TIME, since you have the commute. It's one thing to tell yourself you'll be diligently in the yard nightly after work, another thing to arrive home tired, need to prepare supper AND get outside to take care of projects. Great on paper, difficult in application. - Costs of commuting as gas prices rise. Commutes aren't just gas, they're also time and effort. - Childcare if you have that issue. If you have to leave work to pick up your child, is he home and local, so you have a 30-minute drive BACK to him/her, then BACK to the city for a doctor, all because someone local babysits at a feasible price? Or do you opt for in-city childcare at outrageous prices? I shell out nearly $800 per month for my son's daycare. That may not be a concern for you at all, if you're not far from retirement, but it's definitely something to consider IF you plan to pass the homestead on to your kids. - Also, as pointed out, your 30 minute from the city may be a mere 15 or even 10 minutes in just a few years, and you may be IN the city by the time you're old and pass the land on to your kids. I've only had this place 1.5 years and already, farms nearby are selling and subdividing. It won't be long before 10 acres will be a LOT of land, and that's sad.

The homesteading act is repealed, I believe - with the possible exception of Alaska, if memory serves. In Maine, timber companies make long-term leases to individuals in certain areas. Perhaps something like that occurs in Washington. I was just in Olympia, nice area, but I liked Oregon better. A homestead on an entire small mountain would be cool, huh?

Since this was brought to the top, I thought I would provide an update: counseling works (see other thread). Regarding my negative and pessimistic behavior, our marriage counselor did not believe I am negative (and I don't either). He felt I was just the kind of person who approaches things in a way that can be CONSTRUED as negative, especially if the person takes things personally. For example, someone might share an idea and I generally respond by coming up with reasons why it won't work. It doesn't mean I don't like the idea at all, I just want to troubleshoot the idea a little. His advice for dealing with my DH was that I train myself to say a positive before I give my reasons why something won't work. My understanding was that I would do this to benefit the person sharing an idea with me, so they won't immediately think I'm sh*tting all over their idea etc. Now, he ALSO told DH that his job is to reiterate to me what he thinks I said, to clarify whether or not he's understanding me. So if I say "it may not solve all the problems because of blah, blah, blah" and what he hears is that I think it's a bad idea (when that's not what I'm saying) then he is supposed to respond "Are you telling me that you think this is a bad idea?" instead of just getting mad. So we BOTH have to take steps to improve our communication, and we are, so it's been a lot better. I wish I could give specific advice to you, cheerful1. My communication problems with DH were a result of BOTH OF US having issues. I'm too blunt and direct for someone like my DH, and he has too much of a tendency to assume rather than seek clarification, which resulted in him assuming the worst and then being too angry with me to want to discuss it. So I'm learning to soften the comments a little, and try (as much as possible) to phrase them in a way that doesn't blame him. I wish I had a specific example but I don't. Counseling really helped clear it up for us. In fact, DH very recently told me that when I would say things to him in a blunt and direct manner, he interpreted it to mean that I did not love him. For some reason, he thought if I loved him then I would sugar-coat stuff. ??? News to me but it explains a lot. Why didn't he say this to me years ago? I don't know, I didn't ask. I told him I appreciated him sharing that with me. jamielovescoffee_az: you are absolutely correct that it seems to be all in the approach and not necessarily the message. By the way, DH later told me...MONTHS later...that the coffee he insisted on buying WAS gross, and that I was right after all. Now, though, I think that whole argument was PETTY and I'm working on just letting some things go. Why should I be so concerned over what kind of coffee he gets for himself at his work?

Thank you all so much! The handholding helps more than I can say. Herbflavor: MA will certainly make the hood a custom size and in fact I am going to tell them to make it 16" high. mtnredux: I decided to leave it at 24" deep. There's a pic on the MA site where a huge hood of the same type I'm ordering is partially under a 24" soffit and it looks kind of neat. So I'm going with the "it will look interesting" idea, not because I don't want to make the GC redo it, but because as you suggested, I slept on it and decided in the am that it would be okay. April_Lorraine, mastiffmom and sioushi: I decided to go with the solid floor for the reasons that 1) once the island is in, we actually won't have a lot of floor space showing, and 2) the range and hood and island will have such big visual impact that I want to give them a nice pale surface to stand out against. I think I have to give up my beloved F&B Pavilion Blue as well (don't think it will go with the hood so much), so I decided that when I have some money again (HAH!) I will redo my foyer with Pavilion Blue and a checkerboard floor. Plus, although he wouldn't have fought me over it, DH slightly preferred the solid floor. willtv: Thank you! It is very helpful to hear from someone taller with even less space between the hood and cooktop that you don't bang your head. And I'm ordinarily not much of a drinker but I'm having a glass of wine right now and boy, is that some good stuff. V. relaxing. Sayde: I know 31" is within the normal range but it just seems so low to me that it bothers me! I'm sure it will be fine. blfenton: Hahaha! One of our cats does behave that way. The other one always has this slight startled deer-in-the-headlights expression. I guess I looked more like her at the time. rosieo: I know, I know...and I really do count my blessings every day and try to keep this in perspective (like, there are people with nothing to eat and I'm worried about this stupid sofft depth?!?). Normally I'm pretty unflappable but this was kind of a cumulative effect thing that got to me. I've compromised on lots of little details and over time it has a way of building up such that I feel that what I had planned and designed won't be anything like what I end up with. But truthfully you're right: It is, after all, just a kitchen. muskokascp: I think I was just exhausted. You're right...one thing at a time. It's tough, though, when you consider changing one major element and you have to think carefully through how that change would effect everything else. It's tiring. johnliu: No, I really haven't made that many changes. This was after we were waffling on the sink being next to the wall, decided to switch it with the DW, and I was so miserable over the thought of it all night that I switched it back in the morning. This GC has remodeled two baths for me plus installed a completely new one and painted my house, and for all those jobs combined, I made exactly ONE change (to replace a window molding that didn't match others in the adjacent rooms). This was just bad timing. SusieQusie60: Hmmm...I don't seem to be able to make decisions piecemeal. I am compelled to consider the whole package. Not sure if it's because I'm a graphic designer and tend to think in terms of "overall packaging" but I have to visualize the entire kitchen and how everything works together. Which unfortunately makes me terribly indecisive! I'm probably my GC's worst nightmare, and here I think I'm so easy to work with. *g* katkatf: Thank you! That helped a lot. I've decided this is like childbirth: It sucks while you're going through it but there's no other way to get there. Although hmmmm...I didn't have any drugs when I had a homebirth. I wonder if I could get my epidural now. aliris: Thank you, that was a great post! It's good to know I can both feel incredibly blessed and lucky and at the same time occasionally pull my spoiled princess act (as long as I don't do it too often). desertsteph: No, not really. I had meant to tell him earlier and just didn't. Lesson learned. I must say that he is a GREAT GC in terms of quality and competence and reliability. His crew has been with him for a long time and they're great too. It's just that most of the kitchens he does--and he's built some very high-end homes--are the same generic thing over and over. So he thinks I'm a whackjob when I propose some new thing he's never done before. Like I told him 15 years ago in another house that I wanted a wood floor in my kitchen and he said that NO ONE does wood floors. I also told him about radiant underfloor heating and he looked at me like I was from another planet. Fast-forward a few years and he's telling me that wood floors are wonderful in kitchens, or if I do tile, I should consider radiant underfloor heating. :-) He doesn't know about my secret weapon, the GW Kitchen Forum! I told him that while he thinks I'm crazy and always wanting to do something he's never done before, look at how much he's learning. (Currently he's telling me that NO ONE does marble countertops. Heh.) So thank you so much, everyone. All the electrical went in today and we're moving along. I'll just keep taking deep breaths and repeating "It's just a kitchen. IT'S JUST A KITCHEN."