teens...you vote..

keesha2006

15 years ago

surprise encounter last night...it was later last night, (dark) and I went outside on a potty break with my due any day bichon female...I stayed close to her watching for issues. I live on a corner lot in town. The side street is fenced however with a four foot semi open weave wooded fence. As my girl and I wandered thru the dark..I heard voices coming down the side street... every word mother this, mother than...several male teens it sounded like and every second word was mother this, mother that..I stopped and just stood in the dark listening almost expecting trouble. As they entered my view thru the dark, they noticed me on the other side of the fence watching them. I expected the normal teen shouts..hey lady what ya looking at...after all...the mother word was a favorite. Instead, in a very nice tone...quite a change from the mother tone used seconds before when they thought no one was around..in a nice friendly tone, a male voice said, he lady...smokin hot back yard, I was startled, and replied back with a simple thank you thru the darkness. They kept walking...past my property along the road and along side my garage..I could no longer see them now...but a second shout came from the darkness....hey lady..smokin hot stars on your garage too.. (metal barn stars) I again replied with a startled thank you. My bichon and I went back inside a minute or so later..and shocked I told my husband what just occured and we chuckled..not quite sure what to expect......now...here is where you vote...

Will we be now be vandalized? Was this a warning....

Or can teen boys really have simply appreciated my garden when they walk by...( I am assuming they have been thru in daylight hours)....

What is your vote?

I am mixed about it....while definately unusual....they did appear sincere...but.....I can't help but to be guarded....it is just not the normal teen boy conversation here....yet, a part of me says ( or is it wishful thinking) that they meant it...

by the way, this is a small middle class midwestern town...but there is plenty teen mischief from lack of things to do and respect...

And if nothing occurs..and they sincerely meant it..I wish I could know their names, shake the hands, and tell their parents what a fine job they have done...(tho I think maybe I would leave out the multiple mothers conversation portion ) :)

So, should I hold my breath...or....smile and consider myself lucky?

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Comments (16)

thinman
15 years ago
I'm happy to say from years of experience that there are a quite a few really nice well brought up kids out there, and a lot of kids who are maybe a rung or two down on the behavior ladder, but still know enough to behave respectfully toward adults and their property. Often you would never suspect this from listening to them talk to each other.

How late was it? I'm guessing that your kids were in the second group and you have nothing to worry about. I hope I'm right.

ThinMan
token28001
15 years ago
Um, I don't think they were talking about your garden.
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todancewithwolves
15 years ago
Having a dog, no matter how small, tends to keep people at bay. I wouldn't worry to much over it.
irene_dsc
15 years ago
Hmmm...I have to admit, I know a lot of males of a large age range who swear a ton when they don't think there are ladies around, who will clean up their acts as soon as they realize there are! (Ok, so I also know a fair amount of relatively civilized men who swear a blue streak around me.)

I'm guessing you have a very cool yard (I can't remember ever seeing it) if it stopped teenagers in their tracks to comment on it. I would take it as a compliment and try not to fret. And you never know - if you can get to know them, maybe you can get some manual labor out of them? Stranger things have happened, lol.

(This also reminds me of the time ds, then about 2, and I were watching the teen next door and his friends practicing skateboard tricks. I asked them to watch their language around ds, since he was at an impressionable age, and it was very amusing watching them try very, very hard to keep it clean when they fell!)
memo3
15 years ago
Keesha, Having raised two teens recently and now seeing them into adulthood and still raising one teen (Sophmore) I can tell you that the language is generally just part of the age. It has no bearing on their personalities or the kind of people they will become. Once they start working their first jobs they'll learn pretty quickly that those words aren't appropriate in the real world and they will outgrow it.

Around here kids are taught that those words will not be tolerated in the presence of a woman or children and that they are outside words. So mostly the men and young men use them but only when they are out leaning on a pick-up having a conversation or when they are working. Not a bad thing in my opinion. They do tough work and they have to have a release of some kind.

I'd take it as a true compliment and enjoy it.

MeMo
aftermidnight Zone7b B.C. Canada
15 years ago
That kind of language seems to be some kind of right of passage for young males, a macho thing? For them to turn around and compliment you on your garden makes me think they're alright kids.

Annette
keesha2006
Original Author
15 years ago
I would like to think that also...and I am pretty sure they were sincere... but thru the darkness..a very unexpected response...but ...you never know either...If they were sincere (which I think they were) I am impressed at the ability to see it and be thankful at that age..and the willingness to share it without being prodded. They could of simply just walked past...it was dark, neither of us could make out the others face..only knew we were all there...I wouldnt even know they were boys other than thier voice..

Token, your post made me smile and chuckle outloud..thank you for YOUR compliment...no one has suggested that for years to me..and it is quite a stretch to imagine. I am almost fifty, overweight, and not quite the smokin hot type :) But your post let me imagine it briefly :) and made me smile. I work at a middle school which is about the age these boys were and I am pretty sure they were not being sarcastic..

Wouldnt it be nice if parents could sometimes hear that the teenager who seems to never listen to you, does not seem to respect you enough, who always argues with you or seems to not have enough respect...really HAS been listening to you teach..and has grown in the positive ways. They really are hearing you....teen years are so tuff for parents.. It is not realistic, but I sure wish I could share it with them....now that being said....

I just hope I dont have to eat my words....

I have posted pictures before..but not to often. My yard is just a city lot..not huge, not tiny...I do what I can with it and what my finances allow but it does not even compare with some of what you see here...another reason I dont post pictures is I just like what I like...and what works...I do not care or keep track much of the correct names and varities and that doesnt help a picture post much on a garden forum where people want those answers. So I mostly enjoy others pictures and learn from them and use them for ideas and drive in my own garden..sorry about that guys, but many of you have been my inspiration...
Anyway, back to the boys...
It is nice to see most of you feel good about it too..isn't it nice to see the good things in a depressing economy. The last person I expected a compliment from is a teenager in the dark.....never say never...
aftermidnight Zone7b B.C. Canada
15 years ago
Keesha I seem to remember a picture you posted of a little tin? man surrounded with orangey lilies and yellow daisies (can't remember what they were) that I was quite taken with, you should post it in Brenda's thread for those that haven't seen it.

Annette
keesha2006
Original Author
15 years ago
{{gwi:642717}}
shropshire_lad
15 years ago
Keesha,
Don't sweat it! These guys aren't gonna vandalize your yard, they were just out walkin' and swearin' -- a fav pastime of guys that age. I am just surprised that so many of you are "shocked" that teens could appreciate a garden. It's almost like you've forgotten that they are human and def appreciate a good thing when they see one! I'm not surprised at all that they liked it. Now, as to the comments themselves, the "smokin' hot backyard" comment was sincere for sure. But the "smokin' hot stars on your garage"...that one I can say with certainty was sarcastic (but not malicious). One of them was just makin' a joke out of what just happened. And seriously, tin stars on the garage may be "charming" and "rustic" to us garden folk, but for teen boys (to whom NOTHING is safe from mockery) it just begs to be laughed at! Don't take it personally. Just enjoy the first compliment you received and have a laugh at the second one (because that's what it's intended for), and next time you see those boys, pull them into your yard and give them a garden tour, lmao!

JJ
gldno1
15 years ago
Keesha, I agree that they were sincere and after seeing the 'tin man' with the orange lilies, I am sure. That is the kind of scene teens would appreciate!

I think they talk like that to impress each other.
blueberryhills
15 years ago
I also work at a school, sometimes you get the nicest compliments at the most unexpected moments.
And you never know, there could be a spark of gardening interest and your garden may have been just the inspiration one of those guys needed to pursue his own creative garden passion!
Annie
15 years ago
I wouldn't worry.
They sound okay to me.

I had three boys and they had lots of friends. When they all got together, the potty mouth was ripe. The fact that they stopped when they saw you was a sign that they respected you enough to stop. If they hadn't, they would have REALLY gotten nasty.

My boys loved and appreciated pretty gardens when they were teens. They would often come home to tell me about some really "cool a*s garden" they saw when out walking with friends. Sometimes they would bug me into going to see it.
My youngest boy never met a stranger. He would often stop and talk to the people he encountered, and not a few times he came home with a flower or two that some "lady" gave him. I would follow up with a trip to see the garden just to make sure his story was...shall we say....accurate, and it was. That kid made friends with people of all ages. I cannot believe that in this great big world of ours, only my teenage boys liked gardens and were respectful to other people.

The stars on the garage comment is easy enough to explain - stars, moons and suns are very, very cool!

If they were going to do something, I would think that would have been an opportune time to do it. There would have been snickering and giggling if they meant it sarcastically, and the cussing would have elevated just to shock you.

Take it as was said. Unless they give you reason to believe otherwise, don't let it worry your dear heart.

Don't be surprised if one of the boys stops sometime during the day to talk to you about your garden and those "smokin hot" stars on your garage.

~Annie
keesha2006
Original Author
15 years ago
I think Annie that means you did a fine job raising such a respectful son! Hats off to you!!!!
remy_gw
15 years ago
Keesha,
That garden pics is great no wonder they admire your efforts!
Punk kids can appreciate a garden. I remember Halloween a couple years ago. I always get some kids are too old that really shouldn't be trick or treating anymore, and it was no different. A couple boys heard the water running and stopped to check out the pond. I remember them saying "Sweet" to each other in that way boys do when something is really cool. I was totally taken aback!

Token,
Lol!
Remy
Annie
15 years ago
Keesha,

btw, my youngest son's favorite flower of all time was Tiger Lilies. I still grow them just for him.
Yours are lovely and I love your little metal man amongst the flowers. SWEET!

teens...you vote..

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