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Mother passed away......

19 years ago

Hey my friends..

My mother passed away peacefully in sleep on December 28th. She has been illness for long time. I have been with her for almost two weeks. I am still in Indianapolis, IN and will go back home (Arkansas) sometime later this week or next week. I missed her so much! Thank you for support and praying for my mother.

Kat

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Comments (8)

lilyfantn
19 years ago
Kat, I am so, so sorry. Losing a parent is so hard as you are always their child no matter how old you get. And for me, losing my mother was the hardest. The winter will be a good time for reflection and grieving. This past year I put in a memorial bed in my front yard in memory of both my parents. It has five miniature blueberry bushes and a serviceberry (because they loved to watch birds) and filled in with daylilies (because I wish they could be here to see them). It made me feel a lot better to plan what I would do and to work on it. Almost like they were with me while I did it. I'm still looking for just the right thing for the middle of the bed - like a bird bath or something. I know I'll know it when I see it.
Anyway, my thoughts and lots of prayers will be with you and your family. I know you were a very good daughter to her because you have spent so much time visiting with her this past year. Take care and I'm looking forward to having you with us again on garden web.
Love and prayers Susan
daylilydayzed
19 years ago
Kat, I know the pain you are going through right now. But remember the good times you shared with her and she will be with you forever. I lost my mother last year on Dec 31. So you are now starting the year of firsts, first Easter, First Valentine's Day and so on without her. I will pray that you can go on with your routine and remember her with a smile.
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I'm so sorry. No, it isn't weird. I think all of us want to go home again at some time. Maybe it's grief, maybe it's wanting to be someone's child again... When I was in my late 20's or early 30's, I was going through a stressful time. I began to have a recurring dream. In real life, my grandmother's house was a tumbledown, worn-out old house that she'd had moved onto her lot, so it wasn't very level; the floors sort of went every whichway.. It always needed paint, & the windows were never perfectly clean. The linoleum floors were worn out, creased & buckled, the house was cold in the winter & hot in the summer, & the kitchen always smelled like dishwater. My grandmother had been a very old lady, bent from years of childbearing & hard work, & her clothes were always faded. Her white aprons were dingy. In my dream, it was always a sunny, blue-sky day, & I was "going home" for Thanksgiving. I would turn my car down the little dirt road & see, to my amazement, that the house was perfectly straight, & it was bright white with fresh paint. The windows were crystal-clean, & I could see the cheery flames in the Dearborn heater. Just as I arrived at the door, my grandmother would fling the door open & said, "Sylvia! Come on in this house!" She was chipper & cheery, & she was standing up straight, wiping her hands on her snowy-white apron. Her dress was bright & crisp. The house smelled like coffee & bacon. I said, "They told me you were dead!", & she laughed & said not at all, that she'd always be here for me. I dreamed that dream because, even 8 or 9 or so years after my dear grandmother had died & her house had been torn down, I wanted to go "back home", where I'd always been safe & happy. You & I are fortunate that we have warm memories of "home" to comfort us & maybe to make us smile. Take care.
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How fortunate you are, and thankful you can be, that your family has been so close, for the people in many families have nursed their grievances with the result that get-togethers are only partly pleasant ... and I know that you are not thinking about such things at the moment. Now you can help your brother find his way through this, and he you. I hope that you can find enough greater pleasure in remembering times with your mother than the pain associated with them that sharing them can help ease the pain for both of you. Perhaps in the coming days you may find that others have cherished memories of your mother that you've not been aware of, which will help you be more thankful for her life and the influence that she had on others, as well. One of the most effective ways that we can show our respect and appreciation for the good things that were in the lifestyle of others is to go out and do similar things as we carry on our lives, altered somewhat as indicated to fit into our way of living. Good thoughts and hopes for both of you, and for others who loved her, as you go along this painful journey, and some prayers offered on your behalf. ole joyful
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kydaylilylady
19 years ago
Kat,
I'm sorry to hear of you mother's passing. It was good that you were able to spend some of the last year up there with her. That you will never regret. So far I've only lost my grandparents but it still brings a smile to my face to remember times spent in the strawberry patch helping my grandfather pick, the times he took us kids fishing and all the other good times we had together. Remember those times with your mother. It will give you comfort in the years to come.

Janet
deafblossom
Original Author
19 years ago
Hi..

Thank you so much for a nice input about my mother. My mother's favorite was Tiger Lily. Do you know which named of daylily that would look like Tiger lily? Her name was Margaret Fay Schmidt. I would love to start to build a memorial bed of my parents. I miss her so much. It is hurts me lots!! Thank you again, Kat
kydaylilylady
19 years ago
Did she had a knick name like Maggie or Peggy? If so there's PRETTY PEGGY, LITTLE MAGGIE, MAGGIE TWIN CREEKS, MARGARET HUNTER. Those I have. There are several listed in the Eureka. ALso if you go to the Eureka's website there is the Daylily Dictionary that lists all the daylilies registered and preregistered. You could get the names and then do a websearch.

Janet
deafblossom
Original Author
19 years ago
Janet, My mother's nick name called "Peggy"... I do not have Pretty Peggy in my daylily collection. I thought that Pretty Peggy would be a good matched my mother because she was always so pretty mom. I would love have some of yours. Let me know if you are intested in trade with me. I have some perennial plants. I will look into Eureka's website. LMK.. Thank you, Kat
lilyfantn
19 years ago
Hi Kat. Again, all my sympathy. I've been thinking... why don't you post this subject of the other part of the daylily forum (not conversation, and not gallery...I forget what its called - you know, the main one) along with your idea for a memorial garden. I bet you would get lots of suggestions and ideas.
mrsgardener
19 years ago
Kat--- So sorry to hear about your Mother's passing.
I gave a Daylily award in my Dad's memory last year @ our local Daylily show. It was for the smallest DL-- best of show. I gave my mom the show guide and photos of the flower show including the DL that won Dad's award. It touched her heart! He was a lover of flowers. I think that the crystal bowl that was given as the award was approx $8.00. I will do the same this year.-- Donna

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