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Cuttings for Postage - Etiquette

wildflower
16 years ago

Well first I should say, I've let a few people get to me this year but I'm totally over it now...I had my mind made up that this was the last year I would ever send out cuttings for postage, but I'm pretty sure that will not be the case. I think that maybe some people just don't realize what goes into sending out these cuttings, so there are things you might want to think about next year (or if anybody is still offering them this year).

Postage - Let's say for instance that someone is requesting Paypal for the postage only. It's better not to be asking if you can send postage a different way and then getting upset when they won't accept that. Remember, you don't know the circomstances of the Giver, so if you can't do it their way to begin with there's probably someone else out there that will do it your way.

Cutting Size - I've got to think that most people giving cuttings away are going to give you decent to huge cuttings. They're trying to avoid composting them so chances are you're going to get some nice one's.

Keep in Touch - If you e-mail the Giver and tell them you'll send postage right away, then that's what you should do...If you've changed your mind and can't send right away or have decided not to send postage, let them know as soon as possible. There's always that chance that they're outside spending an hour or 2 of their weekend on your box.

Let them know you got it - If all goes well, when you get your box take a minute to e-mail the Giver to tell them "Thanks, I got my cuttings today".

I've been out composting everything that got hit by the freezes this week that I wasn't able to give away. It didn't take any time at all to do that. Putting together a box for even just one person took me much much longer...Then to have people never send postage and hundreds 14" or shorter cuttings all over kitchen...Well, you get the idea. I do not mean to be complaining here, I really don't...I just hope some people will understand what all goes into this.

I want to give a special thanks to Jim-Jeep for the hamburger and coke you sent me. You will never know how much that meant to me.

Comments (46)

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    wildflower

    Some good basic points! :) I know I spent a long time getting my trades & brugs for postage out. Everyone was appreciative & I'm thankful to say are enjoying the cuttings! I would do it again without any reservations. Just the kinda guy I am - I guess! :) And sometimes to make someone else happy is well worth it to me. Even when I cut my finger with the cutters (thought my finger was part of the cutting, that damn leaf was in my way) - I grumbled & it hurt like heck for days - but knowing the cuttings were going to someone who would enjoy them made it all worthwhile. :) And each recipient did follow up with a "thank you" which made it even better! Just my two cents!

    Mike

  • karyn1
    16 years ago

    Wildflower thanks for posting that. I couldn't have said it better. I will say that everyone that I've sent cuttings to this season has been great.
    Karyn

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  • gottahosta
    16 years ago

    Amen to all of the above!!

    Thanks, Wildflower- couldn't have said it better- it is a tremendous amount of effort and work on the part of the sendee- gave me a great gratitude for those who sent me cuttings last year!

    But I did, like Mike, have lots of appreciation expressed by cutting recipients and lots of thank you's!

    Brenda B

  • wildflower
    Original Author
    16 years ago

    I am glad everything went well for you guys...For the most part, it did for me also and there were a lot of appreciative people. My post probably came across the wrong way and I thought that might happen. I was in tears over this whole thing this morning and put a lot of thought into what I wrote. Sometimes I have problems wording things exactly the right way and "thank you's" was not at all the main point of my post...

    Mike, how is your finger now?!!??

  • karmahappytoes
    16 years ago

    Some great pointers and thank you wildflower for taking that time to express your feelings. One should always treat others how they would love to be treated!

    Yea Mike how's the fingers?? Lucky you and you didn't end up in the Dr. office for stitches as I did a last year. Boy did they scream at me for what I was cutting but impressed at my medical skills!! I didn't want to go but was forced but no stitches as I did the right thing!! You can't tell I even cut the chunk of skin under the pinky!! I keep telling them that the Brugmansia healed it! : )

  • chena
    16 years ago

    WF!!!!
    THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I have had such WONDERFUL trades this yr..You being one .. YOU Rock sister.. I still have a couple here for you..There have been lots who have(E'd personally) asking for cuttings.. Some asking for things I only dream of...LOL When I have tried to get back to them.. NOTHING!! I have sent out Free cuttings for postage not the first word of thanks.. Packing everything up is somthing I enjoy but it takes alot of time.. I'm over it!!! If it is not someone I am familiar with or have traded with in the past..I'll compost it..
    Sorry I feel this way but after this yr. I think it is well earned!
    Chena

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    wildflower

    I have the same problem as you in trying to word something! :) Ask anyone who gets an email from me - I have a tendency to ramble, ramble, and ramble! lol! In that order of course! No matter the point you were attempting to make in your post - you said something you felt needed to be said. And you did! And you should be commended for saying it. And I did not (and I hope others too) take it as any type of criticism - but more as a helping tool for the future Brug Lover's of America! :) That's sad that you had to cry over some situation unknown to myself & others & I'm sorry for you. Things can & do get better! :) I'm going to start rambling at ANY moment! ha! Anyway - finger is better & I'll always remember 'Xena' more often now - until it's completely healed! lol!

    Karma

    I know the feeling exactly! lol! No stitches! I can laugh now about it, but damn - it hurt! Ice cubes do work wonders! lol!

  • jumpin4joy
    16 years ago

    I sent a personal email but to all of you who have sent and heard nothing back. Thanks you. I Love you in a beautiful flower sort of way... Sometimes people get caught up in families,lostloved ones, sickness, abuse and many other things we cant even imagine and a flower can mean the difference between the world swallowing them and a little ray of light behind a hole lotta darkness. Dont ever give up your kindness. Thank yous may not always be typed. They may come in a sigh under their breath or maybe in a prayer. I got my first brug as a gift from GW and 3 years later I am still saying thank you. I have shared it with my grandpa and friends who have depression and other problems and all the thanks I get dont belong to me. They go to that brug lady for postage. Never lose faith in people but always have it in yourself. I never get thanks for cooking cleaning, cleaning up throwup but i know its there. In my kids heart. Its still nice to hear it and thats why I come back here. I was suprised there werent many cuttings for postage lately But I guess I see and understand why. I am going to scream it to all who have given Cutting all the way up to 3 years back. You know who you are. THANK YOU ALL!!! You are still brightneing someones day including mine. I ramble to MIKE! Thanks for just being here and anwsering all these newbie questions that have been asked Over and over. Thank You.

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    jumpin4joy

    So glad I'm not the only one who rambles - it's nice to know others do it! lol! Nice post too & it brings out a lot of reasons how things can happen that one has no control over! :) Some of those reasons you posted darn near brought tears to my eyes. We all have a past - some good things happen to us & some bad things as well. Here's to more Happy Days! Cheers!

    Mike

  • threas
    16 years ago

    It's so sad, that wonderful,giving people like you guys, get taken advantage of! Just know that you're thought of warmly by most of us! Thank you for all your time & cuttings,it is so appreciated!

    Theresa #:^)

  • chena
    16 years ago

    J4J.. I know it must sound like I am being kind of hateful and not getting the whole life thing.. I have a life too..
    but go out of my way to try to share the joys and gifts I have gathered from others as well as paid for myself... As do MANY others here! I commend you for you sharing your gifts and spreading joy to others...
    BUT...
    Your children don't owe you a Thank You you are their Mother! I kind word for someone who worked all yr to have that beautiful plant and offer to share it with you.
    NO THANKS!
    I'm sorry I find that unacceptable..Just plane RUDE!!!
    Chena

  • jumpin4joy
    16 years ago

    Hey everyone is allowed to feel how they want. If I dont get a thanks or a screw you, well some people have not been taught manners. To many things in my life are already effected by what bad people have messed up and My flowers will NOT be included.They are fun and Make me happy! Ill stay off GW before I let it get to me in a neg. way. As far as the post goes the thanks wasnt even her main problem. I enjoy tradeing and shareing and if you dont enjoy it, well dont do it like you said. My kids as you said, Well I never said They owe me a thank you Thats the point. If you do it to get a thanks you did it for the wrong reason. Im not saying that to anyone particular its just the truth. I understand frustration with some people. Some can be rude and annoying. But most are not. Im not willing to stop cause of one or two rude people. Or 10. But thats just me.

  • fool4flowers
    16 years ago

    As a new person to brugs I can say that I have really appreciated all the help I have recieved on here and the cuttings I recieved from some of you. I know how much time and effort it takes to send out all those cuttings and the ones that do it should be thanked no matter what. I have signed up for paypal because of the plants now and appreciate the people who allowed me to send postage until I got it done. I have made new friends thru our mutual love of flowers and for that I am grateful too. All my friends are tired of me talking about flowers so now I have other people to ramble on about them with, lol. If I ever ask someone for a cutting and they don't respond or would only do paypal I respected that decision as it is totally a personal thing to even send them or not to but I am glad for those that did. I should have some nice things to share next year now and know that it will be a lot of work when the time comes. I always enjoy sharing with friends and neighbors but the post office here is crappy so I avoid it when I can so I don't blame the people that don't want to go there, lol. Don't worry about expressing your opinion on here. I am glad you shared your feelings and that is your right also. Mike I hope your finger is better and Xena says hello. Just wanted to thank people who have sent me things again so I can look forward to checking the mail. I used to only check it once a week because I knew it would be just bills and junk mail. Now I sometimes get cards and seeds and cuttings. You guys all have a Veterans Day!

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    fool4flowers

    Awwww! Sweet post! And you tell 'Xena' hello! Is she rooting up for you - or is she now potted & growing like a weed? :)

    Mike

  • karyn1
    16 years ago

    Around this time of year I get somewhat overwhelmed with shipping plants and seeds. If I don't like the way someone has acted after I send them something I just remember to not send that particular individual anything again. I haven't had many problems with people that I send plants to but with seeds it's a whole 'nother story. Some of those folks can be real a-holes. As for seeds I've learned not to post a SASBE offer and almost always say I want to trade, even though I usually don't. It cuts way down on the amount of responders that aren't going to follow through. I also don't often post cuttings for postage on the open forum because I'd much rather trade with people that post regularly. When I've posted plant for postage offers people come out of the woodwork who have never posted on a particular forum and don't come back once they've received their plants. Maybe that shouldn't matter to me but it does. It's one thing to be a newbie but to come just for the plants, then disappear is what I dislike. I've seen several new people here this fall and it's great because they post often and contribute to the conversation. You just have no idea how many people that I'd never heard of and I know I'd never hear from again ask me for stuff. That's annoying.
    Karyn

  • jeep461
    16 years ago

    Some people just think they are getting grass clippings. LOL They do not understand that you slaved all year long to make them beautiful. These were your plant children. The true cost of cuttings in my estimation is a few hundred dollars. The true cost of personal cuttings, well very expensive.

    Yes a thank you is required. Express service ??? Sorry you are getting them for free. It is rare in America to find a helping hand. Gardeners are one of the few left who will give you one for free. Why ? They are sharing something special with you under the assumption that you really do appreciate it.

    Wildflower, I will apologize for all the dead beats who have taken advantage of your most gracious offer. I do not pretend to even comprehend their values. I am truly sorry what was a feeling of sharing and joy ended this way. Just remember that you are a special person to have even offered. I am very appreciative of my beauties. They are growing like crazy. One day little green leaves and then they are looking like pretty plants again.


    Jim

  • fool4flowers
    16 years ago

    Mike, I am letting the roots get a little bigger before I pot it up but she has little green leaf bud starting to grow already. She is doing well though and my husband is trying to steal her away from me along with a few others that have caught his eye, lol. He has picked a few and told me those are mine so don't mess with them. We were argueing over potting her today or not so I will wait a couple more days. He has never been interested in my plants before so I don't know what happened to him with the brugs but it caused him to help me rip out about 8 shrubs to make a new bed for brugs, lol. They are addicting in a good way and make me smile every day.

  • karyn1
    16 years ago

    Mike what did you do to your finger?
    Karyn

  • eloise_ca
    16 years ago

    There is absolutely no excuse for anyone not to thank and acknowledge receiving plants/seeds/cuttings, etc., whether it was through a trade or postage. Best thing to do is immediately on receiving to email that person instead of leaving it for another time when other things come up. My two cents.

  • gottahosta
    16 years ago

    Wow, I feel like I should acknowledge the folks who asked for my cuttings- Thanks for taking them and allowing me to share brug beauty around the country.

    Also, I think many of us are older (most of us?????) and our memories are not so great. I speak for myself, only!

    And, I did not receive postage from one or two but it is coming- one was ill and the other forgetful!!! Benefit of doubt, til proven otherwise!

    Brend B

    Brenda B

  • technodweeb
    16 years ago

    checking through my emails. . .LOL. . .juuuuust kidding.

    I have to say - I cannot imagine why people commit to things and then do not follow through. If I had any mature plants of my own, I'd be sending also.

    I have received some of the most beautiful cuttings from people here! I threw out some of my own little meanie greenies (suspended with toothpicks in the BOB) to make room for the delightful cuttings I've received. (Besides - my 4" greenies looked silly next to some of these monsters!)

    Wildflower - I'm so sorry you were so upset by this.

    For everyone here - I don't think she'd mind me telling you this now - cuttings she so graciously had cut - and people were being jerks to her. The 25lb box she mentioned in a post was sent out to me. I told her I would take them off her hands and cherish all those Susie Qs and get them homes with me and all my friends.

    And that's what I am doing. There are people at work now who want them. All those Susie Qs are going to have lovely homes everywhere.

    In any case - every cutting from a poster has been a large and beautiful cutting - which makes me so much more glad I didn't offer my little woosey ones. (grin)

    My only thoughts to this are - I hope it doesn't change the sharing from people. I can only hope a few bad ones don't ruin it for all of us.

    Everyone here is gracious, generous and kind - both in time, knowledge and sharing their hard work with their plants.

    I count myself as fortunate to have ever found this place and you people.

    'nuff dweeb. . ..

  • karyn1
    16 years ago

    Brenda exactly at what age is one considered older? lol

    Karyn

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    fool4flowers

    I'm very happy 'Xena' is coming along so well for you! :) Nice thing that hubby is also getting involved. Sounds like it could be double trouble down the road! lol! I can just see the fights over which new brug to get! lol!

    Karyn

    I use cutters with my right hand. Held a 'Xena' branch with my left hand. Went to cut this very nice size branch & couldn't see very well because of the large leaves. Went to cut - and I cut it all right - clean through the branch & into my right index finger just below the second joint. Must have been the way I was holding the branch! lol! I still really haven't figured out how I did it. Either stupidity on my part or 'Xena' just didn't want to be cut! lol! It's not the first time I've done that kind of thing & I'm sure it won't be the last. It's just that it HURT! :) And Karma mentioned in an earlier post this has also happened to her at one point. Rule for the day - please be very careful using cutters on Brugs! :)

    gottahosta

    And your age of 27 is not considered old!! :)

    Mike

  • chena
    16 years ago

    Mike are you Kissin Up!!!LOL You know she is 28...
    Chena

  • jumpin4joy
    16 years ago

    Dont get me wrong You should say Please and Thank you ALWAYS(Adult remeber your manners in here to). I was just saying dont let it get you down when recivers dont. It is alot of hard work and there are SO many who greatly appreciate it. I started a notebook and I keep up with good trades/bad trades and those who send for postage.

    ***Those who send to me for postage will ALWAYS be on the Top of My list when I have something good to offer. Just a suggestion Keep it fun and to all the adults here who dont say thanks well shame on you. If you had a dyer circumstance well You and God know and I understand. Nows a good time to go back and say thanks though if you have time to read this.

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    Chena

    Nah - not me! ;)

    Mike

  • neonposey
    16 years ago

    Oh Wildflower! I'm so sorry for whatever happened to upset you. Some people are just thoughtless. I don't have much experience trading plants, but have loads trading seeds and have seen what you're talking about time and time again.

    I sure hope it wasn't anything that I did. And I especially hope you didn't give 'dweeb my Susie Q. ;)

  • oxmyx
    16 years ago

    Ok, I am the culprit here. I want to make amends.
    I have been somewhat confused about who is doing , getting or sending what.
    Wildflower, you have been good to me. There was confusion and I wasn't sure , really what to do, so I did nothing. Bad Idea.
    Bad communication, I did not get the message ~~> Send postage via Paypal, I goofed.
    This upsets me. I am very sorry for this.

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    oxmyx

    It's nice of you to admit you made a mistake - if indeed you are the reason for the post. :) Hey - we ALL make mistakes! I'm sure 'wildflower' will forgive you - as I think she has it in her heart to do so! Just my personal opinion! :) Now - let's get on about the business at hand - Brugs! lol!

    Mike

  • chena
    16 years ago

    I agree with Mike Thank You!!!
    ..BUT!!!! I hope you took the time to contact WF personally...She is a very generous and nice person..she contributes alot to this forum and it sucks to even have to bring stuff like this up...
    Chena

  • gottahosta
    16 years ago

    Oxymx

    Hey, we've all been there! I don't know how many times I have sent an email asking what I owe, did I pay you, what did I offer- some of you have been contacted by me along the line of "what did I say I was sending you?" Better to ask if in doubt, we all make mistakes.
    Some of that "old" stuff again, altho nowadays, lots of people of any age have memory problems. Nothin' to do with old- just a whole lot of busy!

    Okey, Karyn, no more old references, okey. Specially if Mike thinks I'm 27!! Hmm-m-m. I like that! LOL!

    Brenda B

  • technodweeb
    16 years ago

    27? Ya know, I used to say I wish (blah blah). . .but ya know what? Spitting distance to . . .to. . .nevermind to. . . the point is. . .it isn't so bad. . .I'm ok in my skin. LOL!

    And contrary to most. . .if I could do it again. . . . . . . . . . . . .

    I know I'd still screw it up somehow! LOL. . and I'd still be happy in my own skin where I'm at!!! LOLOL. . .

  • gottahosta
    16 years ago

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!

    Ya got that right!!

    Brenda

  • wildflower
    Original Author
    16 years ago

    Mike & Jumpin4joy, if I start rambling here again will you guys please interpret for me!!! :) This post has been going in all different directions and I'd really like for everybody to know that I was not pointing fingers here. I had thought about it and was just trying to post a few things that people might want to think about next year when cuttings start getting offered again...

    Oxmyx, has e-mailed me directly and has been totally forgiven. If you want cuttings for postage next year, they are yours. You are not the "culprit" here. Nobody is...I've had over a dozen other e-mails from people that thought I was talking about them!!! A couple of people that e-mailed, I don't think I've ever seen them here or talked to them before. If you e-mailed me for cuttings and I didn't respond, there's only one reason for that. I didn't get the e-mail....Sometimes that happens if you do it thru gardenweb and I don't know why.

    Brenda, I am also happy that people have received my cuttings. That's why I offered them up. Would much rather see them have homes than go to my compost pile. Some of us however, do not have the money to send out boxes without receiving the postage in advance...I forked out the $8.95 and did one trade this year and that was with Chena because she's posted some beautiful pics here of her brugs. I was hooked the minute I saw them. They all have leaves on them now and are doing great Chena!!

    So anyway, if anyone thinks I posted what I did because of something they did to me then please stop worrying. Was just trying to make it easier for next year when we all start sending out cuttings for postage again...

  • technodweeb
    16 years ago

    Here here Wildflower! (toasting!)

    And to everyone - I just love that commercial where the woman asks the other woman when she's due and she says "I'm not pregnant!" And all the first woman says is "thank you" . . .that's all it takes.

    Oxmyx - for all the times you've had to nag me to get back to you before shipping season is over. . .I'm with you.

    With my crappy schedule and lack of emails. .I know where you're at and I won't throw stones.

    We've all been there. No worries here. Besides - you're getting those Susie Qs now - only you're gonna get them from ME. . .(nasty grin) Along with some of my NOIDS! So THERE! (grin)

    That's your punishment . . LOL .you get to raise my NOIDS! (grin) And I'm gonna send you GREEN ones. . .every brugger's purgatory. .LOL. . .

    Peace all.

  • jumpin4joy
    16 years ago

    AW, Isnt it so sweet to see everybody playing like good little boys and Girls. LOL
    I still say Keep a notebook of good traders and bad traders and always put people willing to send you postage brugs on the tip tops of your list. Alotta love goes into to these babies and post like this reminds others. Hey we all need constructive critism. Thats what keeps us playing nice.

  • sibhskylvr
    16 years ago

    wildflower

    'Forgiven' = such a little word but has such great meaning! And I don't think you need any type of interpretation - as your post came from your heart & that's what counts! :)

    gottahosta

    You're not 27? ;)

    dweeb

    not the NOID's!! And 'green' to boot!!

    jumpin4joy

    It is nice - isn't it? :)

    This is going to be one LONG winter! lol! I hope we can all tolerate one another through the next several months of rain, ice, snow & just plain cold weather! brrrr! Isn't that what friends are for?? :)

  • jeep461
    16 years ago

    Time to dig the digital out. Yall (texas slang) are having plant withdrawals. I will have cuttings around Christmas if it freezes at all. I will see what is blooming.

  • oxmyx
    16 years ago

    I'd marry you Dweeb at the blink of an eye if she weren't taken!
    What a woman ;)

    What a talented sweetheart!

  • jumpin4joy
    16 years ago

    Blooms in Dec. well that just aint nice. Please at least send pictures to remind us why all these cups of sticks and dirt we dont want to just throw out cause were sick of triping over them. LOL

  • karmahappytoes
    16 years ago

    Jeep461, isn't it great to see them bloom at Christmas time? Much better than those Christmas Cactus?? Let's just say whom needs air freshners when the Brug is in bloom inside?

    I keep a 'It's Not Going To Happen List' for those that do us wrong here and after 10+ years it's has served us well but fewer folks are going on this list.

  • purplenana
    16 years ago

    Hi, I'm really sorry Wildflower if I'm one that made you feel like this. I thought I had sent a Thank-you right away. Maybe I did maybe I didn't. I don't know if it went thru. New computer, service, and e-mail have really boggled this computer dummy. Customer service at Comcast are becoming my best friends. I'm so sorry if I didn't get emails thru to anyone and thanks to those you let me know they had received mine. You guys are wonderful and so willing to share all you know, who needs a book? Sorry again.

  • shortyhead
    16 years ago

    JFJ, thank you for talking to me this morning about Brugs and Dats. Sorry you cut your finger. Years ago I grew many roses, and after a new banker moved to town, I was asked to show him how to prune roses. I was explaining it to him when I made a slant cut through a cane-and my finger. Blood poured down my finger and hand instantly. He did not miss a beat as he deadpanned the question, "Is it important to cut my finger each time I cut a rose cane" We both screamed with laughter. Great sense of humor on his part. We became friends.

    Karyn, this morning I went to my local office supply place to get those manila coin envelopes you mentioned on another topic, so I can store my dat seeds and to mail some to people. I could only buy them by the box of 500. Do you or anyone else know how to get little non-plastic envelopes w/o buying hundreds?

    Jim

  • karyn1
    16 years ago

    I buy them at Staples. There's 250 in a box and it's somewhere around $7.
    Karyn

  • honeybunny2 Fox
    16 years ago

    Jim, if you are going to send out cuttings in December, please come by my house, and take cuttings from my plants to include with yours. My dark yellow brugmansia bloomed non stop thru out the winter, it never even lost any of its leaves. I posted pictures of it on the Texas forum, in February, to help people get over the winter blues. Barbra,

  • jeep461
    16 years ago

    Barbara I will do that as I have a few weeks off. I planted everything you brought me from SA. I hope it all does well. Thanks you are great. I have a garden plan based on shade. LOL so I plant companion plants. The Vitex will shade the brugs and the Bayans and pepper trees will shade the Vitex. I still have that Plumeria flower in a shot glass. I dream of it. You have two green thumbs and I have one that is getting a little pale green but I am working on it.

    Karma, it is nice to have a bloom at Christmas. It is strange weather here. It could be 85 in the day and then go to 35 with 35-50 mph winds as fronts pass through and then back to 70 in a day or two. I am still straightening plants from our last blast. I was all in bloom and the winds had the flowers sideways. Tough plants to take that and still hold their flowers. I love all my plants but brugs hold a special place in my heart. Last year all I had was little sticks called cuttings and an insatiable appetite for knowledge on them. Maybe this next year I can get around to some of the advanced things I never finished like crossing and grafting. I am working on the super brug. My CG and a cross with ????? Suzi Q, a white or another CG. Requirements are Hardiness, fragrance and stature. In that order. Maybe I can get one cross before Christmas.

    Jim

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