Hey Mike, I've noticed in your posts lately that you have seemed kind of down and I understand why. Just don't forget to take care of yourself along the way. You have helped and inspired so many people here and we are all pulling for you. When I needed to get rid of some plants I posted them for free on a local message board. I found that I enjoyed meeting and talking to the people that came by to pick them up, which made it less painful. Good luck

The common yellow oxalis we have here has tiny "bulbules" (sp?), which lurk 12 -18 inches under the ground. You can easily pull up the plants, of course, but those tiny bulb things stay under the soil, and up it comes again. I once had a gardener who decided to eradicate it from a flower bed which is about 12 feet long and 6 feet wide. He actually dug up the top 2 feet of soil, and sifted it by hand to get all of the tiny bulbs out. That worked for the first year, but by 2-3 years after he did that, back the oxalis came. So, being lazy, what I do is just admire it in the Spring, except where it is trying to smother other plants. Then just pull it out around those plants. By late Spring here it has died down, and I pretend it is gone. Of course, it comes up again the next Spring. It is one of our first blooming plants to bloom (starts Jan/Feb), so I just regard it as such and let it be mostly. One of my cats likes to eat it (we used to eat it as children - we called it "sour grass"). Jackie

I used to use the Avon SSS on both myself and my show animals! They do make one that has sunscreen and bug repellent in it but I haven't been able to get it at the flea markets anymore. I tried a natural spray on repellent from Tractor Supply but I swear when I got to the garden to start working I was attracting all kinds of wasps including the black and white ones that bite really bad so I never used it since. I am very sensitive to Deet so I have to use the lowest content which doesn't last very long. I also noticed several years ago that I was burning the plants in my big pots by the door when I sprayed down at the landing before going out. So I go out further away from the flowers before spraying but I see the tips of the grass are now burnt there too. I tried to sit out for a few minutes last evening to watch the sky to see if we had any bats but I got bitten so bad I scratched for over an hour even with alcohol rub and antiitch cream. We have a large creek (anyone from somewhere else would call it a river) right in front of the house. I bet that repellent clothing isn't cheap and how long would it last if you washed it?

How about this? Get some totes (or boxes). Put the clothes in these totes. Seal them. Date them, say, 60 days, 90 days, 120 days hence, etc. Agree that if he hasn't unsealed a tote by the date, you can donate the contents. I was going to suggest the same thing. I've done it for myself -- and I wasn't sorry. Maybe you can't get rid of these excess clothes, but you can pack them away neatly. Personally, about a year ago I went through my closet and got rid of about 60% of my clothes -- and I am thrilled with the result. I can't even remember specific garments I "lost", but I love that everything in my closet fits, everything is a complete outfit, and everything fits into the closet without stuffing. When I retire (in another year), I can't wait to ditch the khaki pants and unflattering polo shirts that I am occasionally required to wear to school -- I've come to resent "junk" in my closet. An unexpected benefit: I have become very discriminating about what I buy (not that this has been a big shopping year anyway). I find myself asking, "Does this deserve a space in my life?" and "Would I really wear this often enough to justify spending on it?" Honestly, the only thing I've really bought in the last year is a pair of red dress shoes -- and I really need another pair of jeans. This is maybe easier for me, given that I'm so close to retirement, because I've also vowed not to buy anything I can't imagine wearing in my retirement years. My DH is a slob. He was a slob when I married him (46 years ago) and he is still a slob. He will never change. His mother was a slob too. I have had to adjust to his ways as I’m a neatnick and OCD too. Pick your battles. Do you want to die on this hill? I could say the same; well, except that I never knew his mother -- she died when he was a teenager. When I want to kill him because of his slovenly ways, I force myself to think about all the things he does well: he's a good provider, a wonderful father, he always lets me drive the new car, he takes my car out every Sunday and fills it with gas, he supports me in my career, he and I share so many hobbies -- so many things. I can get angry about his slovenly ways, start a fight, and end up doing the cleaning myself anyway -- or I can do it myself and remember that he contributes in other ways. Tupelo: If your boyfriend is unwilling to change, then you must ask yourself if this is the future you want for yourself and your future children: a significant other who doesn't care about how you want to live, or perhaps is chronically overwhelmed by life or is simply lazy? Not taking care of one's intimate belongings for an extended period of time is a sign of issues that will impact your future and not in a good way, these are bad habits that interfere with the development of the individual and also a couple. Good point. The OP isn't formally connected to this guy yet -- and she can still choose just how big an impediment this is.