Absolutely the most important thing to do is get your soil in shape. Plan on adding compost to it every year. Many people love composted horse manure, but composted community yard waste is good, too. Scatter your fertilizer (I use alfalfa), then cover with roughly three or four inches of compost. It doesn't have to be exact. Then on top of the compost put a layer of mulch to protect the compost from being burned up by the sun. Use what ever is cheap or free in your area. I use wood chips from tree trimming services as my mulch, delivered free to my door because they don't want to pay to put them in the landfill. In some places pine straw is very cheap. You can buy fancy bark nuggets but they are not only expensive, they aren't as good because they take too long to decompose. You want decomposition and renewal to be taking place constantly. For heaven's sake don't get that dreadful mulch made up of chopped up tires, an environmental nightmare. IMO it should be illegal. I also don't like the chopped up wood pallets dyed peculiar colors, but it is at least wood, not a chemical soup. I also get my compost at a very low cost from a local stable. If I load it myself it is free. Too much work. I gladly pay the modest fee to have it loaded. My own soil is a sandy clay, about 65% sand. Once at spring is the only time I fertilize. If your soil is even sandier you may need to do a second fertilizing because it washes out of sand. However as you keep adding compost each year the texture should improve so that eventually you may not need to. I also do only a single fungicidal spray at pruning time, either copper or sulfur. In your more humid climate that may not be adequate. You'll have to check with gardeners more familiar with your conditions. Rosefolly

Even if it wasn't for the less-than-pleasant smell, I still don't think Callery pears are particular attractive. The blossoms are so tiny, kind of bland and boring. There are other beautiful ornamental flowering trees, but most of them have more vulnerability to disease, and some of them might not grow well in your climate. Bradford pears are very vigorous growers, and that's why you see so many planted in Southern California; they are low-maintenance and can easily grow in hot semi-dry conditions. It's in hot humid areas that they become invasive. (a lot of the landscape species widely planted in Southern California because of their survivability would be invasive and/or take over in other warm climates that have more water)

Yeah, I can agree that they look like seeds. But they appeared in a zone that has not been fed recently, and do not look like the seeds of anything we eat. And though we do see a lot of sproting things,these have not changed since first discovered more than 2 weeks ago. Perhaps I will try the paper towel method and see if anything sprouts. In terms of the bottom tray, I like the mention of landscape cloth, though I thought what I was using was pretty similar (the bag the worms were shipped in, torn open to fit the bottom and go up the sides). I switched it out because I thought maybe the cloth was retaining too much moisture (though we get about 2 tablespoons a day of leachate). I swiched it to a layer of brown paper in the hopes of drying it out some (I also put cardboard strips along the edges). I hesitate to add a lot of new dry material (more coir or paper) because this particular bin is full of very nice compost that we are eager to use as the early crops on the farm dwindle and we prepare for late plantings... but we can't get the worms to leave! They LOVE it and there are millions of babies. We tried feeding only in the trays above, but they don't seem interested in leaving. We use a five-tiered system with a sloping roof (Guasanito?). Presently four trays are in use, with the majority of the worms in the bottom two bins though we are trying to coax them up so we can harvest. Mr Ed asked how many; The first time (Feb) we had 2 pounds but then had to leave town on an emergency and the neighbor followed WF's instructions and gave them 1/2 cup of food every day. They all died, leaving legions of babies. We got another 2 pounds in April, 1/3 of which were DOA. WF offered to replace the whole 2 lb but I just asked for one. About 3/4 of them are still with us, I'd say. Parts of the bin are squirmy bundles of wormage, and others more scarce. Babies are everywhere.

Definitely...get out. Don't waste any more of your precious life with this man, and get your son out of a situation that he very well might repeat when he marries. Not necessarily the alcoholism, but how he thinks relationships should be. Not to mention the obvious effects things are having on him right now. Two suggestions: 1. Find an Al-Anon meeting in your area and GO. Even if you don't like the first meeting, GO again. Attend at least 4 or more meetings, you will get something out of them. 2. Get one or both of Patricia Evan's books: The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out. If they don't have them at a bookstore near you, you can get them on Amazon. When I read them, it was as if *my* marriage was being described. Here is her website. Your line: "When I try to explain to him how I feel, he either ignores me or gives me all of the reasons why it is wrong for me to feel that way." is SO typical of what abusers to to their victims, telling them how to feel, and that their perceptions are wrong. They also have a great talent for twisting things around so the issue at hand is YOUR fault. I wasted 10 years of my life hoping/thinking my soon to be ex would change. Never happened, because they DON'T CHANGE. They enjoy what they do, and it works for them. He's now got his sights on wife #3, who I'm sure will also divorce him. I would love to warn this poor woman, but I know she won't listen. He is SO charming and wonderful at first. Don't let your parents or anyone else influence you. YOU are the one living this! YOU are the one suffering. YOUR SON is suffering. I am pretty sure your husband doesn't treat anyone else like he treats you. Everyone else thinks he's a great guy, right? Finally, please re-read your post. In the first two paragraphs you describe what is really an intolerable, unhealthy and dangersous situation. In the last paragraph, you make excuses for him and actually blame yourself somewhat. Really, you do. Please recognize that none of this is your fault. He CHOOSES to be this way, and if you don't think so, consider that he only treats *you* badly, not anyone else. So he can absolutely control his behavior, he simply chooses not to. And you do not OWE him anything because you are a SAHM. Don't ever let anyone (including yourself) think that way. Please seek some help. Go to Al Anon. Read some books on Domestic Violence. Call a local women's shelter to get information on resources in your area. Look at the NDVH website. Just because he hasn't actually hit you makes no difference. He is abusing you emotionally, and in most cases, this will escalate to physical. Besides that, most agree that verbal and emotional abuse is much worse than physical. Finally, use another computer for this. If he has access, he can see what you have been doing, including websites and email. He can easily install a Keylogger, which will record everything you do, and they are undetectable. That might sound alarmist, but better safe than sorry. If you can't use a friend's computer, your local library has them. Good luck to you, and never forget, HE WILL NOT CHANGE.