Morning, Either my computer is messed up or GW is having problems. I opened this thread a few mins ago. I wanted dh to see Tropic's gold Mantis. The pic didn't show. I thought I was losing it. lol. Also, I replied to Cactus Boss and Asleep last night before shutting down. My thread is gone! WTH? Cactus Boss, does GW have a Mantid forum? Nope, no crickets..no live food. :) Asleep, we have doors, of course, but the rooms are so small we leave them open. Actually, although mantis are beautiful and might make good pets, they're better off outdoors. Just my opinion. Cockatiels. Poor 'tiels are in danger outdoors, too..farmers in Australia shoot them so the birds stay out of their seed. Which is understandable. So, if they don't get shot, they know what to eat to survive. God protects the innocents. Think I mentioned watching mantis vids on Youtube. Some were gross..a poor mantis being attacked by a cat, while 'humans!' taped. I felt so bad for that mantis. I'd like to beat the FXXX out of the ppl who shot the video. BTW, Asleep, I'm a non-violent person. lol. Tropic, that's right, it's winter in your location. What month does summer begin? To be honest, before starting this thread, I had no idea mantis molted. I've learned a lot about mantis since getting the egg cases. 'including, egg 'case' ID. When they molt, do they shed like a snake or bird? Or neither? Wonder where your gold mantis family is staying?? I should do more research. For instance, after mom lay the egg cases does she take off, leave the eggs/babies to fend for themselves? And where is dad? Does he skip town? lol I wonder if your gold mantis sees you prowling around at night while he/she is prowling. lol, and what he/she thinks. If they think. Wonder if they think, 'as we know/use the thought process,' or eat/drink/mate through sense. I hope gold mantis stays in your yard..perhaps you can take photos as he/she matures. If it's not too much trouble. Cleaning its arms..At least mantis sense hygiene is important. Tropic, you live in a beautiful area. I truly envy you. On the other hand, for all the beauty around you, I imagine insects/spiders are 5-times larger. :) Toni

Dear Deb, My heart goes out to you as you try to belileve in a life after this one. My faith was stringhtened by being with my Momma when she died. Not because I was just with her. But because I witnessed something I can not explaine, to myself or to others. I was sitting on the sofa that day and I noticed that my Mom's breathing was odd. They call it 'fish out of water breathing'. It went on for a while and we could not get her to rouse up or respond in anyway. We knew it was her time to pass and my sister and I sat on either side of her, each holding a hand. Just before she died she opened her eyes, focused on something over our sholders and shook off our hands, and raised her arms, then in weakness her arms fell down, once more before her very last breath she shook off our hands and reached up her arms, like a small child asking to be held, her eyes opened and tears sprung into them, she had a look of complete surprise, then she smiled a small smile and exhaled. That was it, she was gone. I looked at my sister and said 'did you see that too'? And my sister said she had. I was stunned. My Momma saw something or someone I could not see. I remember looking back over my sholder to see what she was looking at. I know she was reaching up to hold someone, she was happy to see them. Was it my Dad who had died a year before, or her parents who had been gone many years? I guess I will not know who came to get her until I see her again... I only know without doubt that my Mom died in front of me and she went from our hands into the arms of someone unseen by us. I believe it was my Dad. That expierence changed me and gave me a stringth in my faith like nothing else I have expierenced so far in my short 50 years. So I can tell you without doubt, I know there is another life beyond this life. I hope this can help you. I do not tell this to many people because in the retelling with just mere words, I can not convey the awe, or magnitute of the expierence itself. I pray that you will find comfort soon. For me, grief has been like the sharp edge of a knife that cuts away at my soul, and time has been the only substance that has been able to dull the edge of the knife. I send you love and positive energy for healing.

So sorry for your horrible news. Your Mom has been through more than most people could have tolerated. She is amazingly strong. So sad for you and your family that she is suffering so. I cannot say that I know what it feels like to lose one's mother, as I still have mine. But I did watch my Dad die, and I know some of the feelings you are having. It is one of the most difficult parts of life. I am praying for you and your family.

Finedreams, I agree that at some point, as adults the children do see things for what they are and if they can move on and accept the parents for who they are and that is what I did. I chose to not have a close relationship with my mom because of the behaviors she chose. Regardless of whether she has mental illness or she's just too wrapped up in her own life or pain to see or care how it affects her children, isn't my concern anymore. She's had 25 years to get counseling, or whatever help there might be. Several of us have offered to pay for whatever help she needs. She refused. She therefore chooses to do these things and doesn't care who it hurts. I'm not here to debate why she does what she does. I'm not here to blame her and vent out my anger at her, I'm well past that and have accepted who she is and that she will probably never change. The reason I share these things, is there are some parents out there, that are currently saying to their children, things my mother said to me. There are currently some parents that have the same bitter and angry attitude that my mom has. There are parents that 'justify' the things they do or say to their children, that place the children in the middle or make them choose, that think they are doing what's in their child's best interests. They think the child has a right to hear bad things about the other parent if they are true. And I'm saying that just because a child doesn't stand up and tell you that what you are saying to them or the things you are doing to them or just because they go along with you, it doesn't mean they are not being torn apart inside and hurting from the things being done. They will grow up and in time, they will decide who they are going to have a closer relationship with. They may choose the parent that poison's them against the other parent. They may choose the other parent. It all depends on the child. But, I'm just telling parents that have minor children now, that what you do today, may come back to bite you in the ass in ten or twenty years. Because children should NEVER have to choose. They should never have to decide and if they do choose one over the other, then it is going to be the child that loses. My mom put me in a position to choose and she has never let up. If she had never made me feel I have to choose, I'd probably have a good relationship with both of my parents. Now, I'm the one that doesn't have a good relationship with my mom. My kids don't have a good relationship with their grandmother. Those of you that are putting your kids in the middle or having them choose, it doesn't matter to me if you think they have the right to know the real reason for the divorce, even if it makes their dad look bad because the deserve to know the 'truth'. or if they 'decided on their own' to not see their dad or you want to blame TOW, SM,GF or anyone else. I don't care. You don't have to convince anyone of anything, least of all me. Who care's??? I certainly don't. I feel for the children that go through it because I know how hard it was for me. The end result will reveal the truth anyways. The children that are living in your situation today and will someday grow up and decide if you did the right thing or if they blame you for it, that will be the 'truth'. (and two children from the same situation may draw different conclusions, like I said, it's really up to each child,individually.) This is just a forum of a bunch of strangers. None of us will likely be here (talking on a forum) when your kids are grown and in their 30's. You will have to live with the end result or your actions of what you do today. You can deny or justify all you want now, but you will live with the results for the rest of your life. All I am giving is my perspective as a child of divorce. My mom was bitter and angry about being divorced. She has never gotten over it and while she has tried to poison her children's relationships to our dad, it has backfired and poisoned our relationship with her. That's just my story. I'm not saying all children of divorce feel the same way. Every kid is different. But, don't kid yourself if you think your kid is going to feel what you want them to feel. You can't control that. My story is not unique. I don't know if I'd say it is 'common', but it certainly is not uncommon for the wife to become bitter when the husband divorces her. I don't even think it's uncommon for a wife to become bitter, even when she divorces him. If she thought he would beg her to come back and he doesn't, but moves on and marries someone else, she might resent that too. I'm sure guys get bitter too, I had a lot of first dates with that type. No second dates. But, since this forum is mostly women, I relate it more to women than men.